So I Went to This Sex Party the Other Night
NOTE: It’s Freaky Frakkin’ Friday again, where I randomly chat people up that are on my blog. I won’t be able to commit my entire day to it, since I’m driving up to Orlando to hang with Britt, Adam, and Becky tonight. But there WILL be prizes. I’ll be randomly selecting someone to win a 2HT mug since I didn’t get to give one out last week.
If I chat you up while you’re on 2HT, and you respond to me, and you’re one of the winners, I’ll give you a secret code word and my email address. Then you just email me with your name, snail mail address, and the code word, and that’s it! You win.
When my friend Mindy invited me to a sex party the other night, she barely got the words “pleasure party” out of her mouth before I said, “I’m there.”
And I’m so very glad I went. It was actually a sex TOY party, complete with lotions and potions and cock rings and vibrators and silicon headless women that you can, well, have carnal relations with.
There were perhaps 12 of us there, men and women. Some couples, some singles. Had a blast.
It started out with a game called Sex Bingo. We each came up with a phrase that we’d say before sex, or during sex, or after sex, and we wrote that on the back of a slip of paper. Then we turned the slips in, and mixed them all up and passed them back out. We then picked 6 numbers between 1 and 30 and wrote those on our new slip.
The hostess then pulled numbered slips out of a baggie and read them out. If she called one of your numbers, you crossed it off and said aloud what phrase was written on your paper. Mine was “that was good.” The slip that *I* wrote, though, said: “I’m surprised I was invited but even more shocked that I came.” Yeah, sometimes I can be funny.
There were many laughs during this game – and throughout the evening – and I ultimately won the Sex Bingo. So I got a booby pencil eraser, which is a little rubber pair of tits. AND I got a cock ring. I’ve never used a cock ring in my life and frankly had no idea what the hell they were for. Once I said that the ring was far too small for the likes of ME (you’ve got to put that stuff out there because you never know), I was told that it stretches around your guggenheimer and is used to prolong erections. Whatever. I don’t really have much use for it. But still, I gladly collected my winnings.
There was a lot of sampling going on with the lotions and potions. Flavored massage oils and lubes, many of which was applied to our hands or wrists with a Q-Tip so we could taste it or smell it or whatever. And some of it tasted very yummy indeed. The hostess gave out lots of information about the products as she applied some of them to our arms. For example, “You want to be sure that you clean off the lotion before penetration because it has sugar in it and that can lead to infections.” You know, down THERE.
So I asked, “Do they come in sugar-free?” People laughed, but I was serious. I’m diabetic. I need to know these things. I think there would be a huge demand for sugar-free sex lotions. But no, she said there’s no sugar-free versions.
There was another cream – and I swear I’m not kidding about this – that is applied to the clitoris. It stimulates the clit and makes it tingle and bring all sorts of pleasure for the lady. And it comes in various strengths: easily stimulated, medium stimulated, and difficult-to-stimulate clitorally. Then she put a dab of this stuff on several of the women’s fingers so they could go off to the bathroom and APPLY this stuff to their love buttons. I shit you not.
And the ladies were all rather forthcoming in their reports of the stuff, saying it was pretty freaking amazing. Kind of like a menthol tingly sensation, but not in your mouth. And I’m here to tell you that the amazing clit cream works for approximately 45 minutes. Just so you know.
Here is the silicon headless chick that you’re supposed to put on your bed (or wherever) and have your way with. Definitely a guy thing, but it’s kind of strange because the headless chick has a really tiny little body (except for her vajingle and her butthole, which we all got a chance to feel). It’s quite heavy because it’s silicon so there won’t be any sliding around on the bed (or wherever). And there’s a little hole in her back near her Promised Land where you can insert a little bullet vibrator for even MORE pleasure. I don’t know how much she costs. I just wouldn’t feel right about it. I like my chicks with heads.
Oh, and there’s the headless chick, hanging onto some guy’s finger with her vajingle.
These are cock rings. They’re jelly-like and fully stretchable. The hostess proved it by stretching one over Frank, which is the name she gave to the giant purple double-ended bendable dildo. Frank easily fit inside the cock ring. I won one of these things.
There’s the entire table of goods she brought. On the front right of that table you can see a plastic heart. Pretty cool, actually. There’s this red gel inside the plastic heart. It’s used for massage or for comforting sore necks or shoulders…whatever. You “pop” this metal disc inside the gel and it instantly begins to crystalize and becomes warm (to a temp of 129 degrees Fahrenheit) and you use it to rub on the body somewhere, usually with massage oil. Very nice.
And it’s reusuable. The heat lasts for about an hour and then you can put the plastic heart into a pan, put some water in the pan and boil it for seven minutes. You take it out of the pot and place it on the counter for a while, where it cools down and becomes gel again. Then you can “pop” the metal disc again and repeat the process. Very cool.
Many vibrators were passed around the room, one of which had (I shit you not) a REMOTE CONTROL! The remote looks like a cell phone and has a pretty extensive range. So you could (as a woman) have the vibrator portion down your panties and your boyfriend or girlfriend could remotely activate it while you’re walking or in the grocery store or wherever. Amazing.
I learned a lot in the course of a few hours. Most of all, I reaffirmed how important it is to COMMUNICATE with your partner. A lot of questions were asked (many by the men) about whether women like this or that, and the answer was generally the same. Different people like different things. Some like nipple play, for example, and some don’t. Some like things a little “rougher” and some don’t. The only way you’re going to KNOW for sure is by asking her what she likes and what she doesn’t like.
Communication. I’m a firm believer in it.
A vibrator.
So basically, it was like a Tupperware party but with sex toys. It was the best Tupperware party I’ve ever been to.
And yeah, I bought some stuff. Any ladies want to try some of this stuff out? I’m generous that way.
Filed under Local Goings On, Sex | Comments (58)58 Responses to “So I Went to This Sex Party the Other Night”
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Um, all you need is a peppermint and you can do the same thing during oral sex. And yes, those come in sugar-free version. (OH gawd I almost typed “they cum in sugar free virgins.” Bwa ha haaaaaa…)
Still, those parties can be lots of fun. But I’ve never known a man to come to them. That would be even more of a blast!
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Yeah, I was going to say….the party I went to last week was obviously a different company, because ALL of their products were sugar free.
Same types of stuff, tho’.
The ball bearing dildo was a bit freaky. And apparently there is also one that thrusts. I shit you not. A thrusting vibrator? Who needs a man?! But, it was almost 200 bucks. I can get a man for free.
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Does the headless woman fold up for easy storage? Does she come in a travel-size edition?
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It’s interesting that women are offered such fancy and unique products. I guess for men it’s hard to improve on the basics of Mrs. Palmer and her 4 daughters.
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Chica Nuts – It was very fun. I think all those parties should be coed. Totally promotes open communication.
Adena – I’m not willing to spend $200 on a sex toy. If I did, I’d feel obligated to stay away from live women. Gotta get my money’s worth.
Dave2 – She probably SQUISHES up for easy storage. Good question.
Willie G – Women are so much more sexually complicated than men. All we need is a breeze and we’re ready to go.
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Is it coincidence that the pink vibrator looks EXACTLY like the one I have, except there are beads toward the bottom of mine?
Uhm, I want the massage thing. Do they have a website where we can order something?? Come on, Karl, don’t hold out on us!!!
(PS: Maybe you can bring your toys to the next TequillaCon? lol)
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DAMMIT, I thought about a remote control vibrator YEARS ago. I knew I should’ve got a patent.
Now, about the clit cream… you need to hook a girl up.
And one of my ex boyfriends LOVED using a cock ring – but sometimes it was less great from my side when I was tired & ready to sleep.
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Dude, this was so a GBBMC08 post… two months too late, but still.
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Actually, they DO make sugar-free lotions. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do lol.
They also make panties with little cell phone holders on the crotch. Put it on vibrate and forget your purse, ladies!
Don’t buy edible underwear. It’s gross.
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So who has your remote?
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I haven’t been to a sex party since I was 20! Which makes me feel pretty freaking old since that was 15 years ago.
Unfortunately, there were no men there (how cool would that be?) and unfortunately my Mom was there. Though I think that bothered her more than me. Especially since I scored about twice as high as her on the quiz.
The headless chick is seriously creepy, and smaller than I would have expected.
I’ve always found the remote control intriguing but it’s kinda pointless unless someone else has the remote. How fun would that be though?
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I must hang out with prudes because NONE of my friends have parties like that. If they did I’d SO be there. I mean, I’d like to have some toys you know. Wow, I just said that didn’t I?
Maybe I need to tell Dude….
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I used to have one of those heart warming gel things. It was fucking awesome!!! I lost it in my move to Kentucky somewhere.
I also have a pair of panties that has that vibrator in it and a remote control with it. Interesting *cough* to say the least.
I love those kinds of parties!
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Remote control dildos? I can’t even get a remote control put on my lawnmower, and they are putting them on dildos?
What’s this world coming to?
/facepalms
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I used to sell much of these products, and also own quite a bit of them, so if you have any questions, feel free to ask at BrittCon.
I am pretty sure there are sugar free versions of the lubes and gels. though the amount of sugars in them probably wouldn’t be too high because you aren’t swallowing THAT MUCH of it.
I can’t guarantee it though, because who knows? you might just dump the whole tube of flavored lube down your throat for a thrill…LOL
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I’ve been to a couple of these parties (we called them moonlight ladies parties) way back when. It’s been a while, though…
Just for informational purposes, the remote control ones are a little too loud to work in public, unless you are at a loud public venue (like a carnival) *ahem* AND there ARE sugar free lotions. I have several, both lotion and whipped creams, even body paints. The best flavor is buttered rum, in my opinion.
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i went to one of htese once- and the hostess’ daughter, who was 2, came in grabbed the big, black, humongous dildo and walked off with it- that in itself was worth the party alone.
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I’ve secretly wanted to cut the head off one of my ex-girlfriends when we were having sex.
Maybe that headless silicon thingy would be perfect for me.
(Oh, and by wanting to cut the head off of her while we were having sex I really meant I just wanted her to shut up. No need to call the authorities.)
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Nymphos desire kicks ass! Love that stuff. Love it!!
I assist with these toy parties all the time. I get all kinds of free stuff too. heh But what the hell is that enlarged broken barbie! Never never seen anything like that. Kinda scary.
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Remind me to get Britt to tell you about her tingling cream story when she lived in Iowa.
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I feel like such an old lady.
I *LOVE* sex… like, zomg-nympho-lady, but I’m freaked out about sharing toy time with my partner. It really never occurred to me that toys were for sharing… which I’m realizing actually makes no sense. I’ll have to work on that.
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I am so glad you’re coming to California soon. I’m just sayin’.
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So do they bring the headless woman to these parties for the odd guy that might happen to show up? Because why would a woman need a headless silicon woman?
btw, I didn’t mean odd in the weird sense, but in the random sense, because I would never insinuate that you’re odd – because you’re totally not odd. In any sense. Right.
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I don’t think I’ve ever been to a sex toy party. I know my fiance has, as we have a drawer full of items she purchased. And not to throw in some TMI, but most of them get used on a regular basis.
So unlike Tupperware or Lia Sophia, these items get enjoyed by both, not just one or the other.
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That sounds like SO much fun. I’ve always wanted to go one of those but I don’t know anyone that hosts/sells.
And yes I do wanna try it out
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I feel very naive. Well, maybe a little less naive after reading your post.
And I found it very comforting that you like women with heads. Don’t ask me why.
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Ummm…yeah. The clit cream? Um…yeah. Need more info. Reminds me of a story that I read in a Penthouse Forum one time. (Shut UP~)
You can get that tingly WAKKA WAKKA feeling *down there* by breaking an Alka Seltzer in half and putting it in the va-jay-jay. Not that I actually went out and tried it or anything.
*wonders how many women just went to the medicine cabinet*
The other advantage to this is that your cooter won’t have heartburn. So really, it’s medically necessary. Or something.
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One of the best jobs my Husband ever had was when he worked for a “Hot Shop” up in Memphis. I loved his employee discount! I always got the inside scoop on all the latest products and lingerie!
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Amber – the name of the company is “For Your Pleasure” and you can find them at foryourpleasure.com
Monty – I actually bought some of that cream. Yeah, that’s right, I’m always thinking about the ladies.
Carly – I KNOW! Still, better late than never.
Motley – Yeah, the sugar-free stuff is out there. Just not from this company.
Whit – I sent it to you. Didn’t you get it?
Penny – You can send me the remote, babe.
Lisa – You can host your own party, I guess. I’m SURE there are parties in your area.
Sodapop – I like you more and more every day.
Bucky – Yeah, it is kinda weird, but it’s the modern era!
Cissa – I loved the blue raspberry. I just MIGHT drink the whole bottle.
Kyra – Just knowing that you know that makes me warm and tingly in all the right places.
Mrs. K – That’s hysterical.
B.E. Earl – No worries, I’ll tell the police you were kidding.
Frankie – Yeah, the headless Barbie. Funny, that’s exactly what it reminds me of.
Avitable – Oh, I MUST hear that story.
Poppy – You’re a nympho? You’re hotter than ever, baby.
Winter – Shall I bring the clit cream?
Jeff – Yeah, I think it was known ahead of time that men would be there, so I’m sure that’s why she brought it.
Martymankins – Yeah, the toys are an equal-opportunity experience, I say.
Lady Jaye – I’ll be right there.
Lynda – Yeah, I’m all about the heads.
Stephanie – Ha! Alka Seltzer in the vajingle? Who knew?
Blondefabulous – Sex discounts? That’s gotta be the best kind of discount there is!
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Ten bucks you have to take the BlogHer ads off this post.
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Miss Britt – You think? I don’t know.
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I’ve been to a few of these parties and we always have a blast….and yes, we girls used the “button lotion” at the party as well. But for some reason, both places we’ve used don’t allow guys.
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Tingly clit cream… that might actually make me smile today.
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I have never been to one of these parties. Every time one of my friends has had one, I have been in the hospital…3 times were when I was giving birth, so my friend says I don’t need the stuff anyway, but I think it could never hurt, you know? I have heard good things about that tingling cream though.
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“Communication. I’m a firm believer in it.”
Pun…unintended??
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Here in Canada, they are called Fantasia Parties. (yeah, we’re prudish that way). Its always a blast. I’ve never been to a coed one. So, what flavour did you buy?
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You got me thinking about rubber tits now Karl. Thanks. Just what I needed.
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All I can imagine is you, with your eyes popping out of your head like a cartoon…
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So ehm… is there going to be photographic evidence of the cockring fitting on yours..?
And does THAT have remote control that we can win today so we can “control” you from a distance? If so, will it work all the way over the Atlantic?
Hey, just asking. You DID state communication is important!
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I’ve been to that type of party twice – once in a co-ed setting, and once with women only, and while the co-ed setting was okay, it was far more reserved than the women only party. Although, to be fair, the women only party didn’t have a guy sitting in the corner, refusing to participate, reading a bible and praying for our sinning souls. Who the hell invites a neo-con christian to a sex-toy party anyway?
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*stalks for prize* =D
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LOL @ Dutchy–He justmight show us. Then he really WOULD have to take the Blogher ads off.
I’m so glad you had fun. I love these things.
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I would seriously die of embarrassment at a party like that. Eek. Seriously. I can be a little bit old fashioned at times. But, then again, I have the luxury of The Smitten Kitten (female friendly “adult” store) just 2 miles from my house.
As to the clit cream… an altoid does wonders as well…
And actually I think that sugar free would be a HUGE seller. Quick, invent it — you’ll be a millionaire!
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First off LMAO@ Earl….
I LUBBA me my button lotion.. Ladies?? It’s the bomb. I haven’t ever been to a coed party. That would rock!
Seeings how you don’t “plan” on using the coc* rings you should make them a prize!!!
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Oh and a heads up before that contest??
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Dude! I can’t believe that you didn’t know about all this stuff already. Does this mean that *I* know more about sex toys than you?! I mean, come on, I use “daggnabbit” as my curse word of choice! And I’m a frickin’ librarian?!
*snort* Sorry, let me just savor that thought for a moment.
Course I did date a guy for a while who worked for a company who made that sort of stuff, so maybe that does put you at a disadvantage. Poor, poor Karl.
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yeah, the parties I’ve heard about selling sex toys have been all women too….would be funner with men but some think it’s embarrassing but I think it would be funny.
There should be a warning label on some of those lotions…ya know the warming, kind that goes on a guy….they don’t say that if U keep it on the women can get the nasty itchy feeling from it…..ha, not saying it happened to me…but was this friend of mine…ha.ha
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I have been to that same kind of party. Was it called Tasteful Treasures or something like that?
That remote control thingy? Um, yeah, that’s fun. I don’t have the vibrating penis kind. I have one that you actually wear like panties. It’s looks like a butterfly.
Oh. I’ve said too much. *blushing*
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Heh. I only get invited to parties where they sell baskets and kitchen stuff and shit.
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Sheila – I think they should be coed. It was fun and the guys asked actual serious questions about things. For all you women that want men to be educated, I highly recommend it.
Finn – I think tingly clit cream would make you smile EVERY day.
Tori – They need to make tingly clit cream for men. I would TREASURE having my own clitoris.
Trysha – Um, no, that wasn’t intentional. I mean, wait…YES IT WAS!
Dragon – I think it’s strawberries and cream.
John – Glad I could be of assistance.
Sandra – that’s not far from accurate.
DutchBitch – There are some things even *I* will not blog. Photo evidence of my cockring is one of them.
Suze – that’s a sex party I wouldn’t want to attend.
Motley – Good luck!
Turnbaby – Yeah, if that ever happens I’ll keep the ads off.
Jessica – Aw, that’s sweet, the old fashioned thing. As long as you’re a tigress in the bedroom.
Cheesy – great idea. I may do that. And if I do that, I’ll give a heads-up.
CL – A librarian with sex toys just might be the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.
Patty – Right, your friend. *cough*
Shelli – Wait, THAT might be the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. It’s called “For Your Pleasure.”
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you know, it seems like it’s a lot easier to talk about this kind of stuff in a group than it is one-on-one with your partner. i wonder why that is.
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Kat – Very true. I’m not sure of the answer. I think it might be more about the venue. It made for a very non-threatening environment where frank discussion of sex was the norm.
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Holy crap! Splenda-based sex jelly. You’re a fucking marketing genius.
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Konstantin – I know, right?
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These kinds of parties are great for women who would never darken the door of a sex shop. I bought my first vibrator at one way back years ago. Here in Tennessee they are called “Surprise Parties.” We are at an advantage here in Nashville because we have a Hustler Hollywood store here! You’d be amazed at how “classy” the store is, too…it looks like a Barnes & Noble and has a cafe in it. It’s awesome.
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Ginger – Yeah, they’re especially handy for people in tiny towns without any sex shops. I can’t see drinking a latte in a sex shop, though. Ha.
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