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There will be no recapping today, boys and girls. I am recovering from a drunken night of video game playing with the gays. Yes, I skipped out on the closing keynote address with Dooce. In fact, I didn’t see Dooce at all this weekend. Believe me, it was pretty easy to do with over 1,000 attendees at BlogHer.
I do want to point you over to Lisa’s site and ask all of you that have anything to give to donate a little something to Lisa. You can get the whole skinny over at her place but basically the doctor told her no more chemo the other day because the tumors have only gotten larger.
I talked with Lisa on Friday and she’s one of those people that annoyingly apologizes profusely over shit that doesn’t call for an apology. Like crying. I mean, seriously, if there’s anyone on Planet Earth that needs to cry, it’s her. Well, that wasn’t a therapeutically sound thing to say. I made it sound as if there are times it’s okay to cry and times when it isn’t. Obviously, if you’re crying you have a NEED to cry. Shit, I’m overanalyzing.
Anyway, please go visit Lisa and do what you can. I’m broker than snot until next month but I’d gladly donate a limb to Lisa if it’d help. No, no *that* limb. I must survive, after all, and if I couldn’t shake hands with my guggenheimer I think I’d have no reason to live.
Last night was drunken revelry with the Gay Liberation Headquarters, as we played the Wii and then Rock Band on the 360. In fact, the gays are still sleeping at 12:30pm. And me? I’m in no place to write a lengthy hopefully entertaining post.
So tomorrow, bitches.
Filed under BlogHer, Travel | Comments (14)
So yeah, this is late. I’m in Karlifornia now. Everything happens later here. It’s a fact.
I woke up yesterday (well, still today for me) at 5am so I could shave and shower. Avitable was awake and in his Batcave when I got out of the bathroom. I quickly shoved the laptop into its bag, closed up the suitcase, and away we went in the Avitamobile.
I apologize profusely to Adam and Amy for leaving my white trash Mitsubishi in their driveway for three weeks. Right now the rear passenger window is off the track and the window won’t close all the way. So there’s a black garbage bag stuck down over the top of the door to keep the rain out. Yeah, I’m a high-class bitch like that.
In fact, when I suggested to my mom on Friday that I REALLY wanted an iPhone RIGHT NOW and that it would make for an excellent early birthday present, she said, “I think you’d be better served to get your car windows fixed.” Fuck. Nothing good ever comes from a sentence that starts with “I think you’d be better served…”
As we drove to Orlando Airport, we talked about Adam’s top-secret Halloween party plans - I can’t tell you or I’ll be executed and hung in the tree in front of his house, and not in a good way. But they’re very cool plans, of that you can be sure.
My flight was set to depart Orlando at 7:45am, so we got there around 6:30′ish and everything was peachy. Checked my bag - for which US Airways now wants $15 for the first bag and $25 for a second bag - but didn’t have to pay the ridiculous fee because I bought my plane tickets before July 9 (thank God). Then went through security, hit the tram to the terminal, got out into a much smaller terminal than I’ve ever been in at Orlando. Had breakfast and as I was eating got a call from Orbitz saying that my flight was delayed.
Uh oh. Not this shit again. But it was only delayed around 20 minutes. And the pilot made up all the time in the air, so we got to Phoenix on time. I had an hour before the next plane left for Santa Ana, so what did I do? Walk straight to the next gate? No.
I went outside to go make out. Hell, it was a four-hour flight, people. I was needing the nicotine.
Phoenix, by the way? HOT. Not FLORIDA hot, mind you, but hot nonetheless. Had a couple of cigs and was pleased to see an 8-year-old boy walking up to a van with his mom in front of the terminal. He opened her car door for her, then opened the sliding back door and got in. Ladies, keep an eye out for this kid in 10 years. He’s a keeper.
Went back in through security…really FAST security, too. Phoenix airport has their shit together. Walked to the gate and they were already boarding. Perfect. Flight to Santa Ana was uneventful. In fact, we got there 10 minutes ahead.
Down to the baggage claim after texting Hilly that I was arriven (shut up, it IS a word!), straight outside for the making out. Hilly texted me back. “Where are you? I’m outside?”
“I’m outside, too.” Fuck this. Why am I still texting? Dialed her and she was a few hundred feet away at another door.
Got my bag, to the car, and away we went.
Karlifornia had begun! We weren’t driving for two minutes before the first “Nice move, cocklick!” emanated from Hilly’s lips as someone cut her off in traffic. Ah, there’s nothing like driving with Hilly, really. You MUST try it.
We drove along the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) in search of food. Went through Laguna Beach, where Hilary decided she might want to get some gas (after the 20th DING! came from the dashboard). And Mom, I know you’re not checking out my Flickr or Twitter during this, but the gas prices in Orange County? $4.57 a gallon for regular.
USELESS DIGRESSION: Remember how in the 70’s you had Regular gasoline and Unleaded? And now Regular IS unleaded. Weird.
We got the gas and drove along a ways and parked the car. Walked along the street, looking at the various shops and people (LOVE all the hot women in California) and decided to stop at BJ’s for lunch. No, BJ’s does not stand for what you THINK it stands for. It’s a pizza place.
After lunch, we walked back along the avenue and stopped at the Candy Baron, which has barrels and buckets of candy from one end of the store to the other. Everything you can imagine.
They also have a pretty extensive selection of sugar-free candy, which is very cool. I got a bunch of goodies, including sugar-free Tootsie Rolls and sugar-free Bazooka gum! I skipped out on the Jesus Saves mints, though, AND the Statue of Liberty mints (DOESN’T COUNT!).
They had hundreds of flavors of taffy, too, which I used to love as a child. (And yeah, they had a big variety of sugar-free taffy, too.) What I do NOT love now, though, is how fucking sticky that shit is. Especially if it’s hot out. There’s a boatload of sugar-free taffy sitting in Hilly’s fridge right now, actually, in hopes that it’ll cure that meltiness.
Back we went to Hilly’s place. Every time I visit Hilly, her and her husband are in new digs. And the one common element to them all (save one) is ALL. OF. THE. FUCKING. STAIRS. Having to drag my heavy-ass suitcase up her stairs is a chore and a half. We laugh about it, but I’m pretty sure she picks out her apartments solely based on how much she’ll be able to laugh at me groaning up the stairs.
Spent a little one-on-one time with the infamous FC (her cat) and then we just vegged on the sofa (which is doubling as my bed. Y’know, once I finish this post.)
OK, I’m gonna speed this along now. I’m whipped. I took a nap, we dragged Hilly’s computer downstairs so we can pair up and do our online thing at the same table. Hilly hid because “there will be NO more pictures of me today, motherfucker!”
That picture was allowed. Rather than going out to get dinner or go out to the store to get toilet paper (we’re currently using Kleenex, thanks very much), we stayed in. Ordered pizza, sat at our computers, watched Big Brother 10 (holy shit was it great last night!) and then back to the computers.
I contemplated a blog post, realizing that - oops! - I wasn’t going to make my midnight deadline since it was already past midnight on the east coast. Then I got a text message from Motley and Winter over something we had talked about previously, and we decided to get together. I can’t really talk about the secret mission we were on because, jinkies! The cops!
We picked up Motley and Winter and then headed over to Norm’s (a restaurant) for coffee with our special guest star, Dave’s tiara!
Left Norm’s, unable to complete our secret mission, then drove Winter and Motley back to their place. Just as we were leaving their place, I got a text from Motley.
“Did you remember to grab the tiara?”
Oh SHIT! Dave’s tiara was back at Norm’s!
“Are we really going to drive all the way back down there for a cheap tiara?” Hilly asked.
“I think we must,” I replied. And so we did. Winter called Norm’s and told us we’d be there to grab the tiara. 10 minutes later, I had the tiara in my hot little hands and we came home.
And now it’s 2:30 in the morning. Pacific Time, which is 5:30 in the morning MY time. I’m off to bed as soon as I stick myself with a needle.
Day 2 of Karlifornia can only get better. Hard to imagine, but it will.
And tomorrow? My guest blogger here for the Summer of Love is none other than the NYC Watchdog. He’s the Man.
For those of you wanting the FULL deal while I’m in California, you should subscribe to:
Course, if you follow me on Twitter, you’ll see many of the Flickr photos I post from my cellphone, as well as the Utterz I mutterz.
Filed under Local Goings On, Travel | Comments (33)
Tomorrow the Summer of Love at 2HT continues with my secret fantasy girlfriend, Lisa from Clusterfook. I think it’s cute that she shaved her head to be in solidarity with me. Or something. Anyway, Lisa will be guest blogging here tomorrow while I’m flying off for SecondHand Snackiephan. Or Karlifornia 2008. Whatever you want to call it.
Anyone who knows me knows I am quite the king of procrastination. I put everything off until the last minute. Pretty much. And that includes packing for trips. Usually at this time I’d be doing laundry, when I have to hit the road around lunchtime for Avitable’s place, so he can drive me to the airport on Tuesday.
But no. Not this time. I actually did laundry on FRIDAY. Granted, I’m just now getting around to folding it, but still. I think that’s a marked improvement. No, I haven’t actually put the clothes in the suitcase yet, but I just finished ironing a bunch of shirts (thanks to me not folding them right away the other day) and I’m beat. I HATE ironing.
Well, I *kind* of hate it. Truth is, I used to LOVE it when I was in the Air Force. I was the only one to iron my uniforms because I liked a really tight crease (TWKS). You can kind of veg out while ironing, watch TV, talk on the phone, whatever, because ironing doesn’t really use any active braincells.
But I haven’t ironed in a long time. Instead - and here’s Karl’s Laundry Secret of the Day - here’s what I do. Wash the clothes as usual, then throw them in the dryer for FIVE MINUTES. Then take out all of the shirts and pants and hang them up damp. With polo-style shirts, you want to be sure to button up all the buttons to the collar while it’s on the hanger. And be sure the collars are folded down nice and neat so when it dries you won’t have any wonky collars.
That’s it. Voila. No ironing. Ever.
Course, if you leave the clothes in the dryer for a while (or overnight, in my case), you’re fucked. But using this method also saves a LOT of wear and tear on your clothing. Things last a lot longer. And that’s a good thing in my case, because I HATE clothes shopping.
Socks and undies? You can let those dry all the way through in the dryer. But all of my shirts and shorts and jeans and slacks get hung up damp.
You’re welcome.
Yesterday’s post caused quite a stir. Lots of support and I thank you. But it seems we might have sparked a Quitting Revolution, since a number of you have agreed to hop on board on August 15th and quit smoking with me. Very cool. The more the merrier, I say.
I want to thank my special guest from yesterday’s episode of SecondHand Radio. Carly was great. Listen to it here or download it. Or go to iTunes and get the podcast there (just search for “Secondhand Radio”).
There won’t be a show this next Sunday because I’ll be recuperating from BlogHer. And 5pm Eastern is 2pm Pacific, so I really don’t think I’ll be in any shape to do a show at that time. But the following week? We’re on, baby.
I haven’t scheduled any shows for August yet. On purpose. I need to work on procuring some guests, but odds are high that I’ll be moving from Blog Talk Radio to Talkshoe. Why? Because Blog Talk Radio of late has been fraught with technical problems. People have had trouble getting the audio to work during the show, or they have trouble getting into the chatroom, or both. They get booted out of chat, or the audio, or both. The switchboard freezes up and dies so you can’t see who is on the phone calling in. I could go on and on, but I’m tired of it.
True, it’s free, and I realize that. But I’m also not happy with the ad placements on their site. The ads are obtrusive, sometimes playing AUDIO. You know, while I’M BROADCASTING A SHOW? Then there’s the pop-over ads which show up when you go to someone’s show page to listen to a show. You have to sit through the freaking 15-30 second ads before it takes you to the show.
Enough.
Talkshoe operates much more smoothly. I can have up to 100 people on the line at once, not that I would, mind you. But it’s an option. I like the way the chat works with the Talkshoe Pro client. It makes sense, even though it’s a little unsettling at first.
Plus, there’s no worry about time slots. I can have a show any time I want without worrying about how many listeners I’m drawing in. Prime time schmime time. If I want to have a show every night, I can do it. Not that I would, mind you. That’s Jester’s bailiwick. But I *could*. And I can do an hour-long show, a two-hour show, a FIVE-hour show…makes no difference.
The one thing that’s kept me from jumping ship sooner is the fact that I don’t know how I’ll play soundbytes/music on Talkshoe. But I’m working on it. Regardless, it’s not a huge issue. I’m moving.
I just haven’t figured out what day I’m moving TO. I’ve had a number of people say that Sunday afternoons just aren’t convenient. So I’m leaning toward an evening during the week. I ran a poll not long ago but didn’t get many responses so I ask again…
What say you? What night works best for you? I’m thinking of either a 1- or 2-hour show. Wednesdays are out because that’s when Adam & Britt and Jester do their shows.
Think on it. I’ll decide in the next couple of weeks. You know, while I’m basking in the California sun instead of roasting in the Florida sun.
Which reminds me…anyone in California wanna get together? Let me know. We’ll see if we can work something out. I’ll be in Orange County most of the time, but also San Francisco and San Diego and probably Los Angeles. Otherwise, you can come to me. I’m totally worth it.
Filed under 2HT Radio, BlogHer, Blogging, Travel | Comments (26)
