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Over two years we’ve been dealing with this fucking mess called the Presidential campaign trail. Two YEARS. Absolutely ridiculous. I hit the saturation point a long time ago, as many of us have. They call it political fatigue, though fatigue isn’t strong enough a word to describe it. It’s more like critical mass. My head is ready to explode again and again from all. the. utter. crap.

I’ve never before had this much trouble making up my mind about who to vote for. I’m not a declared Republican. I’m not a declared anything, really. Haven’t been in years. Why? Because I’m one of those people. I don’t color inside the lines like the candidates like. Undecided isn’t the word for it, either. I’ve felt like a man without a country for a long time.

It’s not about voting for the lesser of two evils. Well, sure, there’s that. There’s ALWAYS that. Because I guaranfuckingtee you - no matter how strongly you may love McCain or how strongly you may love Barack - neither one is going to be the President you want. Not entirely. Shut up. They’re NOT.

So sure, many of you are going to vote for the person they think will be the LEAST bad for the country. I get that, I do.

But for me, that’s far too simplistic a perspective. I don’t have a candidate.  Really. Neither one of them represents me. Neither one of them WILL represent me. I’m one of the people that gets lost in the cracks in this two-party system. It’s astounding, really, that we even stand for a two-party system. Us, a nation of far too many choices in most every facet of our lives…stuck with only two viable candidates.

How would you like it if you went to the grocery store and had TWO choices of cereal? Two brands of soda? Two brands of detergent? What would it be like if you went car shopping, only to have TWO cars to choose from? In one of two colors?

Well, that’s exactly what we’ve stuck ourselves with in this fucked up electoral system we’ve got going on. I don’t call that freedom. Hell, I barely call it a forced choice. But that’s not going to change.

I’ve tried making “another” choice in the past. Back in 1992, I couldn’t stand either of the two options available - Bush 1 or Clinton - and so I voted for the alternative…Ross Perot. Look where the hell that got me.

Yes, it can be argued that Perot got 19% of the popular vote…a first for any third party, something which hasn’t been duplicated since. Yes, that’s something. But it’s not enough to make a change. If it were, then life would be vastly different right now. Yes, 19% of the country spoke up and said, “We don’t like the options.” So fucking what? What options do we have now? Still only TWO.

And yeah, there’s Ralph Nader who, quite frankly, is probably the closest thing to a smart choice this country has. But I won’t make the same mistake twice. I did my rebellion 16 years ago. It was much ado about nothing, and now it’s barely the ghost of a dream. Maybe it wasn’t a wasted vote, but it’s about as close as I’ve come.

Can you tell I’m a bit angry? I’m not a happy camper. Mere days from the election and I am once again forced into an impasse. I can’t vote because I don’t think either candidate is speaking my language, and I can’t NOT vote because I think that’s just about the worst thing any citizen can do. I haven’t missed a Presidential election yet, and I don’t plan to start any time soon.

I don’t often discuss politics because it’s such a divisive topic. And I don’t like that. There’s enough out there to divide us. I like to focus on the shit that can bring us together, like me being an asshat in a wig and ladies’ clothing, lipsyncing to annoying songs. That’s something we can all get behind.

But I’m in a quandary and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to talk about it here on my own space. I voted for the current Bush. Twice. And no, I’m not happy about his performance. At all. I can’t for the life of me think of one thing I’m proud of that he’s done. The country is in the toilet and while that’s not all Bush’s fault - this shitstorm is a group effort, make no mistake about it, all three branches of government are to blame - he certainly hasn’t HELPED.

When I look at John McCain, what I WISH I saw was the John McCain of five years ago. A man who actually stood for something, who said “fuck you” to the powers that be, who didn’t conform to the status quo and said no to both parties simultaneously. A man who actually did what was right, who still knew what it meant to do that.

That John McCain doesn’t exist any more. Don’t get me wrong. I still like him. But he’s a shadow of his former self, and the political trail has not been kind to the man. He’s changed. He’s pandering…well, both he AND Barack are pandering. That’s part of their job description. But I have a greater and greater difficulty reconciling the John McCain from years past and the John McCain from now.

And his choice of a running mate hasn’t made that any easier for me. I like Sarah Palin. As a person. But the more I hear from her, the more I don’t like her as a candidate. She’s not stupid. Clearly. But she’s ignorant. She may have done a good job leading the state of Alaska, but that doesn’t mean she’s up for the job of Vice President. (And God forbid, President.) Not that the Vice President DOES anything, mind you. Sure, they may have to make the Blue-Moon tiebreaking vote on the Hill, but other than that, they’re pretty much there to back up the President.

I admire Palin for not toeing the line every step of the way with McCain. That’s not a bad thing. But the things that come out of her mouth make me shake my head in wonder. The whole Bill Ayers thing is positively ludicrous. I know it’s part of politics, the muckslinging, but the vitriol that’s come out of these campaigns in the last 45 days is just sickening. We wonder why the issues aren’t talked about enough and it’s because the politicians themselves spend all their energy trying to undermine the other side with bullshit.

DOZENS of debates over the course of two years and what are we reduced to? The same old crap. He said, she said. He’s friends with this asshole, and HE’S friends with THIS asshole. Who gives a flying fuck?

What about the shit that *I* give a damn about? What about the economy? What about education? What about health care? What about the war? And for me, the crux of it all - at least in my recent election years - is the abortion issue.

I’m against it. I make no secret of that. I think abortion is WRONG. I think it’s taking the life of a person. And there’s nothing you can say that’s going to change my stance there. Life begins at conception. I haven’t always felt that way. I used to fall on the opposite side of the coin. Suffice it to say, because of my own personal experiences, my perspective has evolved.

Abortion has been, for many years, the TOP issue for me. And yes, I also think the death penalty is wrong, so at least I’m consistent. I don’t think taking a life - in ANY situation - is okay. But over the years, it’s not just my stance on abortion that has evolved. Many other of my positions have changed, as well.

For example, I used to think being gay was an aberration. It was wrong. It was sinful. It was a choice. I don’t believe that any more. Over the years, I’ve known more and more gay people, made strong relationships with many of them, some in intense therapeutic situations that I hold akin to being in a foxhole. I know better now.

The notion that we somehow have the right to decide who can be with who…which couple should have rights simply based on their sexual orientation. That’s just crazy talk. The fact that there’s shit on many state ballots that may very well decide - once again - who is free to love someone else and who isn’t based on their genitalia is flat-out insane. Hell, it’s on the Florida ballot, as well…and you can be assured that I’ll be voting against that shit.

I’d vote against it no matter WHO I was voting for in the Presidential election.

And again, we return to my quandary. I’m strongly liberal in some areas, and strongly conservative in others. Tough shit if you don’t like the labels - those are what I’m used to, that’s what I call them. Progressive, liberal, it’s semantics. What we’re talking about, really, is the red party vs. the blue party. Both parties have strayed so far from their respective paths over the years that they’re virtually unrecognizable from what the “traditional” platforms used to be.

There IS no candidate for me. Tell me, which candidate is Pro-Life and pro gay marriage? (I even hate the Pro-Life and Pro-Choice labels, but that’s a topic for another post.)

Which candidate is pro military AND pro diplomacy?

Which candidate is pro offshore drilling AND anti petroleum conglomerates?

Show me that fucking candidate.

And again, yes, there’s Ralph Nader, but he is not a choice. Not a REAL choice. Not if you’re truly trying to make a difference in this messed up country. And I LOVE this country, I do. It may be fucked up, but it’s one of the best ones on the planet. I’m not so entirely crazed as to think America is THE best on the planet. We’re pretty great. Or were. There’s potential.

As usual, I’m all over the board.

I’m not happy with Barack, either. I’ve heard the man speak personally. Granted, it was only 20 minutes, and it was the same shit he’s spouting on all the talking heads shows. He talks the good talk, he’s slick, he’ll put more money in my pocket. He reminds me a lot of Bill Clinton in that way. He says all the right things, he hits all the notes. I like him. Well, maybe he’s not so much like Clinton, after all.

The problem with Barack Obama is, yes, his inexperience. He has, well, NONE. He has roughly the same experience in an executive position as Sarah Palin. He hasn’t been on The Hill for a year…not a year of experience, anyway. The bulk of his time as Senator has been not on The Hill, but campaigning for President.

What the fuck has Barack DONE to be President of the United States? He’s barely spent time serving in any of the positions he’s been elected to thus far! I suppose the only saving grace of the current situation is that he has no higher office to aspire to if he gets elected President. He’ll be stuck actually doing the job people elected him to do. For once. I mean, there is no President of the Universe position. Yet.

Again, there is no candidate for me. I am not happy with either forced choice.

But I’ve come to a point where I can no longer sit on my hands, wondering what I’m going to do come November 4. A decision has to be made. Do I once again stand on my laurels (what the fuck are laurels, anyway?), sticking to the ONE issue that has traditionally been THE issue for me? Or is that enough any more? I mean, no matter WHO is voted into the White House, abortion isn’t going to change in this country. It’s not. No one is going to overturn Roe v. Wade and I’m not even advocating that, anyway.

OR do I go with all the other myriad of issues that are important to me, casting aside abortion BECAUSE I know it’s not going to change?

I’m leaning toward that latter option for the first time. I don’t like where the country is, I don’t like how it’s been run for the last 8 years. Well, frankly, I didn’t like the 8 years before that, either, but that’s neither here nor there.

Health care. Education. Taxes or no taxes. Fuck, the money for this $850 billion “bailout” has got to come from somewhere. If we don’t raise taxes, what do we do? Just stick it on the Uncle Sam Visa card? AGAIN? No matter who you vote for, there will be TRILLIONS more dollars stuck on the Debt Clock. That’s not conjecture, it’s fact.

The question is, really, which guy is actually going to make the Change that this country needs? Who is going to steer this ship toward some reasonable facsimile of being back on course?

There IS no candidate for me. But is there a candidate for the country? I don’t know. I doubt it, frankly. I’m too cynical to believe that either of them can make a difference for the better. Sad, but true.

But somewhere down inside me…somewhere…there has GOT to be a sliver of hope. Otherwise, I wouldn’t continue beating the shit out of myself every four years, voting for the next President. And this time around? I’m beat to a bloody pulp.

If you’ve actually read through this entire meandering post, I hope one thing is evident: I am not taking this election lightly. I have, however, made up my mind.

It will probably come as a bit of a shock to most of you, but the person I’m voting for is Barack Obama.

I KNOW.

As much as I hate politics, I’ve watched ALL of the debates these last weeks. And I just haven’t heard John McCain say much that convinces me he’s the person to steer away from what Bush has done with this country. He SAYS he’s not George W. Bush, but his record is evidence to the contrary. His health care plan is crap. I’ve read both web sites, listened to the speeches. McCain is just not in touch with what’s happening, domestically. With foreign policy, yes, I think he is superior to Obama.

But God forgive me, fuck foreign policy right now. We’ve spent more than enough time and resources in places we don’t belong. One of the first things you learn in therapy is you can’t help your neighbor if you’re not in good health yourself. And America is NOT in good health.

So I’m voting for Obama. Unless something RADICAL happens in the coming weeks. The first time I’ve EVER voted for a Democratic candidate.

And I’m praying that it’s the best choice I can make.

So there.

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No SecondHand Radio tonight because of the Vice Presidential Debate. I doubt many of you would show up. Hell, I don’t want to because I’ll be glued to my TV. There’s bound to be more entertainment in that 90-minute debate than I could ever dream up. I hope Sarah Palin shows me something more than I’ve seen in her interviews with CBS and ABC.

I’ll be back next Thursday night at 10pm, and my guest will be Kevin Apgar from Kapgar. See me then.

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I know, the last dare isn’t here yet. It’s gonna be postponed more. Hopefully it’ll be worth the wait. Gonna be a few days, at least.

I haven’t been feeling all that great the last several days. On top of that, my face is molting, thanks to the massive sunburn I got at the Barack rally on Saturday. Lotion is my friend.

I actually started reading a novel last night. First time in a long time. I got some great books for my birthday, thanks to a lot of you, and I decided to start reading “Twilight,” mostly because it’s about vampires and I dig that sort of shit. It’s also the mood I’m in. Watched the first couple of episodes of “True Blood” on HBO, the pilot during a free HBO weekend, and the second episode when I was staying with Britt over the weekend. I like it.

Depression is coming back in waves again, too.  Loneliness. Blecch.

In short, I have nothing interesting - certainly nothing positive - to say. But I wanted to get it out there, anyway.

Filed under Books, Depression, Local Goings On, Politics, Television | Comments (27)