I Say Let Us Blow This Pop Stand
I wrote another story for my remaining gig last week. That’s two now. Woo hoo!
Meh. I should be working more. See aforementioned lack of momentum. Feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.
I’m pretty blah about most everything of late, truth be told.
Watching Hilary sprout her wings again is pretty cool. Makes me wish I was doing the same thing. I’m not happy here, and I know it. Don’t get me wrong, Sebring has its charms. But it’s too small for me.
I need more.
Maybe it’s just that I need more local friends. That’s true, too, I’m sure.
I need to be somewhere, though, where there are more places to meet women than at a bar. I need to be somewhere with movie theaters that have stadium seating. I need to be somewhere with more of a local scene, more activities, more concerts, and 3G.
I had that in Dallas. Plus, a really cool church. Yeah, I’ve been to church. Shocked? My point is, I had a very active social life back then.
I don’t need somewhere as big as Dallas. But it’s gotta be bigger than Sebring. I know I favor warmer weather in the winter. I want some place that has real pubs, Guinness on tap. Somewhere with karaoke. Nearby airport. Some place that has character. See? I have my priorities.
If I had the financial resources to do it, I’d leave. Not at THIS MOMENT. Mom is still on the mend, I’m not a total prunt. Usually.
But soon. I’d blow this pop stand and set about really pursuing happiness again. I’m not sure what that looks like, exactly, but I know it’s going to be somewhere other than Sebring, Florida.
Shit, I dunno much right now. I know I’m tired of being this dude.
Fucking song still makes me tear up. Every. Single. Time.
Filed under Depression, Inside My Head, Music, Relationships, Work, YOR | Comments (15)Loud as a Golden Gun
I was writing a post about what a marvelous group of days I just finished having, and what an amazingly surreal thing that is for me.
Then I heard a song on my iPhone and thought immediately of Kim, whose reality is a hell of a lot different than mine at the moment. Love ya, Kim. Hang in there.
I was going to embed the original album version, which is incredible, but I still favor her live version. (Note to self: Must see Beth Hart live…Bucket List add.)
Press PLAY. Then read the lyrics. (And yes, Kim. I know you recently publicly decried music, but still…)
Lifts You Up (by Beth Hart)
I stole the outside runnin’ into the sun
I ‘m alive, loud as a golden gun,
I killed my pride so once again I’d see
Live and learn
you’ve fallen one thousand times
I feel the burn
There’s fire from a crazy sky,
I sealed concern
So once again I’d be
It lifts you up, then it puts you down.
Then it feeds you life, then it lets you drown.
While it holds your heart, then it slowly tears you apart
And ya know life is what I mean.
If I could, ya know I’d stand on the rock
Where Jesus stood,
innocence and evil, bad and good
Walkin’ side by side
It lifts you up, then it puts you down.
Then it feeds you life, then it lets you drown.
While it holds your heart, then it slowly tears you apart
And ya know life is what I mean.
We got a way of makin’ up our minds
How could I run, just leave it all behind?
When it breaks me up inside
still I Refuse to hide
and it is just what it is
And that’s all right
CHORUS.
Filed under Depression, Music, Relationships, cancer blows | Comments (6)She’s Still The Bitch
Odd, just a day after Christmas, I was sitting at the computer, wanting to listen to music. I love Pandora, have it on my iPhone, too. Personalized radio is the future, people, believe it. And even more than Pandora, I love Slacker (also on the iPhone). I think Slacker has a better mix of artists. If I create a station around, say, Beth Hart on Pandora, and do the same on Slacker? Slacker comes out with a more organic-sounding mix, I think.
But I was on the Last.fm site the other day. And I saw Lisa’s profile there. I’ve been using Last.fm longer than any other music site, and I like that it scrobbles the music from my iPod. Anyway, Last.fm says that Lisa and I have a High Musical Compatibility…Buckcherry, The Cars, INXS. Cool. Hmm, I think I’ll listen to Lisa’s station.
Then I saw the artists on Lisa’s station.
Audioslave. Rob Zombie. Metallica. System of a Down.
Fuck.
Lisa is way more hardcore than me. I went with a station based on a mix of New Order and Duran Duran instead.
I still think of her daily. Any time someone comments on Lisa’s blog, I get an email. Two or three times a week, Facebook reminds me I should put something on Lisa’s wall. Clusterfook.com sends people to my blog nearly every day.
I miss her.
Happy Birthday, Lisa. You really ARE the Rock Bitch.
