Herb here. So freaking tired of hearing such bad things about us clones. I wander around this giant Karl’s place and find this. Ugh. Yes, Luke Skywalker, you’re sooo heroic! Han Solo shot first! Yoda is a fierce fighting machine!

You don’t hear about the whole Leia kissing her brother shit in the tabloids, do you, though? No, of course not. It’s Death Star this, and evil Emperor that, and Darth Vader’s new low-carb diet. Bah.

Then I was at this little cafe when I ran across a little green man. Great conversation that totally brought me back down to Hoth. Well, Earth, in this case. Turns out we both have family on Tatooine, which is a nasty dirtball of a planet, but hey…not like I have to live there.

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I’m TK-280, but friends call me Herb. The long trip from Hoth to this blue Earth globe was hellacious. And while I was in suspended animation to get here, Ted decided to be funny and put my lower armor on backwards. But I made it just the same. And after I etched “Rebel without a Clue” on Ted’s helmet, and took an hour to fix my armor, I managed to scale down the giant tower the hairless wampas call a “mailbox.”

What it is I’m expected to do here, I don’t know. But once I was inside the giant base of the hairless giant wampa known as Karl, I found some other clones hidden away. Turns out they’ve been waiting on me to organize our campaigns.

We found a stockpile of large lance weapons known as “syringes.” This Karl creature has no clue the level of wrath we shall rain down upon him.

That’s me on the right.

The guys and I shall commence taking over this central Florida region forthwith. Once we finish sampling this amazing Guinness beverage. *hic*

PS: I found a listing of other clones here on Earth. Together, we shall…ooh, what do you call this magical disc? Pizza. Niiiice.

--- Thanks for reading! SecondHand Tryptophan