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So I’ve officially outgrown the SecondHand Laptop. I knew that the time was coming a few months back when Windows XP said, “Hey Karl, you’re dangerously low on disk space. Fix it, dude.” And so I started cleaning and deleting and backing up to DVDs. It took a while, and I got rid of the warning message, but I still have a measly 6GB available on a 50GB hard drive.

Then there’s the memory. I bought my Dell Inspiron B130 a few years ago before going to BlogHer for the first time. It wasn’t meant to be my primary computer, so I went on the cheap. 1GB  of RAM. Then my desktop fried and BAM! Ever since then, the laptop has been my only computer. And it was fine. For a while.

Now I’m rebooting every so often because of a memory shortage. With me working again, I’ve got multiple apps open at the same time and the laptop is, at times, very sluggish.

So I spent a while yesterday afternoon online with a Dell salesperson, asking about upgrading the laptop. I can add another 1GB of RAM for $55. Well, that’s for 2 1GB modules. I have 2 512MB modules right now, so they’d have to come out. This was encouraging. Adding RAM would take care of some of my troubles.

But the hard drive situation isn’t as bright. The biggest drive I can get for this model is 80GB. That’s only a 30GB increase. Yeah, I have a 500GB external drive, but that’s for backups, really, not primary use. The salesgirl told me even if I went with a third-party manufacturer, a higher-capacity drive would crash my laptop. I haven’t yet checked on the veracity of that claim, but I imagine she’s right. After all, if they could sell me a larger drive, I have no doubt she would have tried.

This leaves me with only a couple of options, aside from upgrading what I have. I can get a new Windows laptop, or I can break down and go with a Mac. I’ve been saying for a while that my next computer will be a Mac. I know enough Mac lovers and have read enough articles to know that Apple makes some rocking computers. They’re not prone to crash, they’re not prone to viruses (since all the virus makers concentrate on Windows machines), they’re basically the computing equivalent of a wet dream.

BUT. I’ve got so much invested in the Windows world it isn’t funny. I haven’t used an Apple since my Apple IIc days in the 80s. All of my software is Windows based. True, the files aren’t nearly as big a problem as they used to be. After all, MP3s are MP3s, JPGs are JPGs, doesn’t matter what platform you’re using. And the word processing stuff is pretty transparent, too. DOC files are easily interchangeable with the right software.

BUT. Apples are pricey as hell. You pay for that top-notch design. Big time. You could very easily spend 2-3 times on an Apple laptop what you would for a Windows laptop.

There are tons of deals to be had on Windows laptops…and yeah, I want a laptop. I’ve become addicted to the portability factor.  AND. The real reason why I’m terrified of a new Windows laptop? Vista. Sure, I can get a laptop with 3GB of RAM and a 320GB hard drive for way less than $1,000, but it comes with Windows Vista. And I have heard largely negative things about Vista. Problems, crashes, compatibility issues, even the Blue Screen of Death rearing its ugly head again…and that’s something I spent way too much time with in the 90s, thanks very much.

The other option is buying a new Windows laptop and installing Windows XP over Vista. That’s kind of drastic, but it’s doable. Vista is even more of a memory hog than XP, but I like XP. I know XP. It’s far more stable. It works. There are a scarce number of laptops being sold with XP these days, but a couple of Twitter friends pointed me toward some.

I don’t know what to do, but I’m definitely going to need to make one of these choices soon. I can save up some money in the next few months and roll the dice. Perhaps I’ll go with a memory upgrade on this thing to see how much better things get. That’s definitely the cheapest option.

Right, other stuff to talk about. First off, tomorrow night is another episode of SecondHand Radio. My guest will be the wonderful Mike from LeSombre. Mike is from a little-known country called Canadia. They have to have electricity and plumbing imported from Botswana, and they primarily use the telegraph for communication, but he assures me he’ll track down a phone to call in to the show.

Don’t be frightened of the photo. That’s Mike at Avitable’s Halloween party. He’s normally not quite so tan. They don’t really have sunshine in Canadia.

Anyway, the show will be tomorrow night at 10pm Eastern, 7pm Pacific. Hope you’ll join us. And don’t forget, tonight is “Clearly You’re Retarded” at 9pm Eastern, with Adam and Britt. They’re  going to be talking about Internet addiction. I’m sure that doesn’t apply to me. *cough*

Speaking of the Halloween party, Adam finally got around to uploading all of the portrait shots that were taken at his party November 1. Here are the ones that have me in them. You can find the whole set on his Flickr page.

That’s me and Geeky Tai Tai. Grrrrrowl.

And me with Sybil Law. Grrrrowl again.

Filed under 2HT Radio, BlogHer, Blogging, Local Goings On, Web/Tech | Comments (26)

So BlogHer. Yeah. I have loved BlogHer every year, but this year? Not so much. It’s not because it’s not filled with tons of great people. It’s just that, well, it’s too fucking big now.

Every year more and more people show up and so it’s more of a clusterfuck than ever before. I knew it was going to be different this year on Thursday night when I went to the People’s Party and it was wall-to-wall people with $8 fucking beer.

Sure, I ran into many of my favorite people. Sarah and Suebob and Average Jane, and many others. But it’s actually a chore now to hook up with people you want to hook up with. More than ever this weekend it was truly a case of me NOT running into many of the people I went to see.

I went to a number of sessions and discussion groups. My favorite was the first one I went to on Friday morning about introverts. Monty was on the panel and it was a great session.

Hilly spoke up into the mike at one point, talking about things from the other side of the fence…as an extrovert. And I got up and talked, too, explaining that one of MY methods for dealing with BlogHer is to design and wear mildly offensive t-shirts. It’s a great icebreaker.

Sure, I got a ton of business cards and two bags full of swag. And I’ll be spending some time this week entering URLs into Firefox because I don’t have enough fucking feeds already. But in general, I spent far less time at BlogHer this year than I have in the past. I just couldn’t make it happen…couldn’t flip my freaking-the-fuck-out switch off for very long.

I totally skipped the parties because I knew they’d be too loud and too crowded for me. And the parties are generally some of the best times at BlogHer. I opted for the much more sane smaller and intimate group - Hilly and the Gay Mafia - at night. I didn’t even catch the closing keynote with Dooce.

So I really don’t have a lot to say about the conference other than what I’ve said. I don’t know that it’s going to hold the same level of fun for me any more. It’s just getting unmanagable for me. And that kinda makes me sad.

In other news, I’m still tired, though I had a decent sleep last night. And today. I’m also very broke. I ought to take donations because I know that’d send Jester through the freaking roof. I am also still dumbfounded that I was called “The Man” on a radio show on Sunday.

Filed under BlogHer, Travel | Comments (32)

I’m Whit, and I’ll be your captain today.  That’ll be $15 per bag, thank you.

Apparently a lot of people have been sweating to the oldies over the pressures of guest blogging for Karl. Me? I’m as cool as the other side of the pillow.  I have this thing about never letting them see me sweat.  I take no stance on letting them hear me fart.  It’s a free countries.

Truth be told I didn’t sweat it because I didn’t give it a lot of thought (as you’ll soon realize).  This isn’t a sign of disrespect to Karl, I’ll do that later.  No, it’s just how I roll.  If you’ve ever been bored enough to check out my blog then you know I’m not much for points.  I think round is funny.  This is why you’ll actually enjoy all of the other posts while finding this one to be a bit “lacking.”

The thing is, I was born a rambling man.  I’m trying to make a living, just doing the best I can.  Karl said to make ourselves at home, so I have.  That being the case I’m going to open a beer and get to work on my not having a point.  It’s harder than it sounds (Yes, that really is what she said.)

*****
Did you know that Karl went to BlogHer?  I understand they make you check your penis at the door.  I’m sure that was no problem for Karl, he’ll check his penis anywhere.  And often.

I almost went.  Hell, I even tried to invite myself to carpool with Karl and Ms. Hilly (and offered to stay on their floor- for FREE!), but they wouldn’t have it.  They needed all the extra room for Karl’s t-shirts and his weed.

It’s just as well.  Karl needed a wingman and I’m more of a kamikaze drinker/pilot.  I picture Karl as more of the fly over type- the kind of guy that wouldn’t think twice about buzzing your tower.  Whatever that means.  I wouldn’t have done much for his game.  He’s all about the approach and I’m all about the landing- or something like that.  We’d be like Iceman and Maverick.  Of course the real loser would be the ladies (and Goose).

Besides, my wife said I could only go if I promised not to have sex with anyone.  I know, that’s bullshit.

Hence, I stayed home and got some work done.

For instance, on Thursday night, just as I should have been checking into my friends’ San Francisco hotel room and getting my blog on I had to go cover a party for one of my jobs.  That’s right, I have multiple gigs.  I’m a freaking catch.

I had to go sit in the sun on the Santa Monica Pier and interview a Victoria’s Secret model.  It was almost 80 degrees out!   What the hell?  Working sucks.

Then they made me stand around in a VIP tent for hours and drink free beer.  Can you believe that shit?  Who the hell do Victoria’s Secret think they are?  Hertz?

I actually did have one serious issue.  At one point I was unable to get to the open bar because Fall Out Boy was standing between me and an icy, cold one.  I had to wait 15 MINUTES while Pete Wentz talked about something and Ashlee Simpson adjusted her headband.  Christ, Wentz, that beer wasn’t going to drink itself.

Still, the weekend wasn’t a total loss.  I did get to see Space Chimps.  I took my boys and between the three of us I believe we actually bankrolled the entire movie.  The chimps themselves were drawn well and their dialogue was funny enough, although none of the other adults in the theater seemed to get the David Bowie jokes or Airplane! quotes.  No accounting for taste.

The rest of the movie looked, sounded, and felt like it had been created by a bunch of 3rd graders with finger paint and just a touch of acid.  It was shocking how crappy most of it was.  Look, I’m as spoiled by Pixar as the next guy, but at least try.

Of course it featured the obligatory voice work of Patrick Warburton who better be careful or he’ll soon find himself picking up all of Eddie Murphy’s discards- which I can only imagine are better than what he’s been making.  Meet Dave?  That ain’t Delirious.

I’m thinking about having Warburton come hide behind my couch and make guests think that my dog can talk.  I have no doubts that he’d do it, it’s just a matter of convincing the dog.

I also saw some movie about a guy that dresses up as a bat.  Like people will pay to watch that crap.  Hollywood is way high.  Like Karl high.

So now the weekend is over and I’ve eased back into my work week, unshaven, unshowered and unpantsed.  You know, the uniform.

Karl is just a little more than a hundred miles away right now and I can’t help but think that he might call.  We could grab a beer and wear t-shirts together.  I could let him listen to the Victoria Secret’s model on my voicemail.  He could hear my dog talk.  We could even take acid and finger paint a sequel to Space Chimps and count how many times one of us says, “Your days of finger painting Mary Jane Rotten Crotch through her pretty pink panties are over.”  Guy stuff.

Bottom line, if I had tits he would have been here an hour ago.

It is now safe to move around the cabin.

Filed under BlogHer, Blogging, Current Affairs, Guest Post, Humor, Sex, Travel | Comments (14)