Swimming with Babies

So I mentioned that my Resolution this month hit a snag. Big time. Bottom line is, I got fired. From one of my gigs, not both.

Not that it’s a huge shock, mind you. After all, I haven’t worked in quite a while. I take the blame for that.

I won’t say exactly which site fired me, but it doesn’t involve travel blogging, and it might rhyme loosely with Brain Trawler.

No matter. It’s lit a fire under my ass. I plan on doing more travel stories until I find another gig to add to the hotel blogging. So if you know of anything, please let me know. Especially if it involves me writing more humor’ish, slice-of-life stuff. I’m also going to get my other little project going. I told you, I have ideas.

Course, this reaffirms what I’ve already said. TequilaCon is definitely out for me this year. And it doesn’t look good for BlogHer, either. Disappointing, to say the least. For you, I mean. Ahem.

In the meantime, I thought I’d write a little letter to any future employers I have. I’m sure they’re all reading this and are interested in anything and everything I have to say.

Dear Future Employers:

Hi, I wanted to take a moment to give you a list of things you might try in order to make my life with you more pleasant. Or more professional. Whatever.

1. You should know up front that I prefer being notified when I get fired. You know, as close to when you hire my replacements as is convenient for you. To clarify, telling me months later – only after I am ready to return to work – is just a tad late for my taste. I realize it’s a personal preference, but it’s MY personal preference.
2. If you simply must fire me, I prefer getting a phone call over getting an email 15 minutes before end-of-business. It’s more professional and, as an added bonus, it doesn’t make your company seem like it truly doesn’t give a fuck about their employees.
3. Please don’t try to explain your decisions for firing me, unless you’re giving me REAL reasons. I’m not as dumb as I look. For example, saying that it’s because of “budgetary constraints” when you only have a finite number of writing slots per day, and it doesn’t matter who writes them or gets paid for them, is kinda bogus’ish.
4. If you’re going to fire me, please do me the kindness of removing me from the company email lists first. I have enough email to wrestle with every day, I don’t need more.
5. If you happen to be in, say, the gossip industry, please don’t pretend to class up the joint by not using words like “butt” or “nude.” Especially if it’s a blog skewed toward mommies. Because moms happen to be nude a lot, and they also have butts. And they’re also there to read GOSSIP. Running a gossip blog – and again, this is only if you happen to be in that industry – and telling the writers they can’t use words like “sex” or “boobs” is a little like telling TMZ not to take photos. It can be done, mind you, but no one is going to want to read it any more. And I think the traffic reflects that. Or *would*…sorry.
6. I like employers who send me things like free coffee or Cherry Coke Zero. And massage gift certificates. Even without the Happy Ending added on, it’s still a nice perk.

I have other ideas, too, if you care to ask for my input. Most involve naked women, but I do have a great one that includes a shaved giraffe.

Sincerely,

Karl Erikson

Filed under BlogHer, Celebrities, Depression, Famecrawler, Local Goings On, TequilaCon, Travel, Uptake, Work, YOR | Comments (17)

Anissa Punches Me in the Throat, Too

Anissa. I adore her.

I’ve read some posts about her the last few days, since she suffered a stroke and the entire blogoTwittersphere is talking/praying for her. But I just haven’t been able to muster whatever it is I need to muster to write something of my own. I can’t. It’s been a fucked up week for me, full of stress/anxiety/depression. And now Anissa.

I will say that it’s another bucket of ice water thrown over my sleeping head. One moment she’s fine, the next? Hospitalized, unconscious, and fighting for her life. If that doesn’t make you want to live every moment to the fullest, I don’t know what will. Appreciate what you have, WHO you have…

Thought I’d just link to a guest post she wrote for me during the Summer of Love, where she includes a guest post I did for HER on HER blog. It’s a long story.

Just read it.

And Anissa? I know you’re in there, babe. You’ve opened your eyes a number of times now, according to Peter. Keep fighting. Come back.

PS: I love your boobies.

I’ll be out of pocket the next day or so. Going to my Dad’s today, probably staying over night. Stepmom is in the hospital because, y’know, the world apparently doesn’t care that my head is about to explode already…more stuff just keeps piling on. My friends, too. I’ve declared a public moratorium on sickness, dying, or anything bad or stressful.

I’m just waiting for God to flip the START switch on my request.

Should be any time now, I’m sure of it.

Filed under BlogHer, Bloggity Blog, Depression, Local Goings On, Relationships, Weblogs | Comments (4)

@ChurchPunkMom and FREE iPhone Game Giveaway, All on SecondHand Radio Tonight!

Tonight, my guest on SecondHand Radio is none other than the beautiful ChurchPunkMom, who sometimes goes by the odd name Megan. I met Megan at BlogHer ‘09 in Chicago, but we’ve been friends on Twitter for a while now. She claims to be married to some dude named OnlyAman. I’m pretty sure she’s faking, though. It’s because she’s terrified of this all-consuming love she has for me, I think.

She’s a mom of FIVE kids, home schools them all. She’s geeky and cool and funny. And wears specs, which is hotness x10.

And she’ll be talking to me tonight, live, at 10 PM EST. Don’t miss it. Go check out the 2HRadio info page, download the Talkshoe client, and prepare yourself for fun chatroom action mixed with live conversation…where YOU can call in and talk to Megan and me.

GIVEAWAY!

Plus, tonight I’ll be giving away a free copy of the new iPhone/iPod Touch game, Texas Tea! Thanks to my buddy Gerald at Snakehead Software, I have a free game code to give away for iTunes that’ll automatically have you downloading Texas Tea. That’s a 99-cent value!

I don’t know how long he’ll keep it at 99 cents, but I just downloaded it myself and I can see messing with this game a lot. It’s pretty addictive. Hope you’ll try it out and support one of my old high school friends. Y’know, if you have an iPhone or iPod Touch. It’s only 99 cents! Did I mention that?

From the press release: “If you like games such as Bejeweled, Jewel Quest II, Trism, Yahtzee and Poker, you’ll love Texas Tea™.  It’s an addictive game!”

I’ll be randomly selecting a winner from the chatroom tonight. Not sure how yet, but I’ll probably ask who amongst you has an iPhone or iPod Touch and then randomly select someone to win the game code.

Hope to see you there. Tell all your friends.

Showtime: 10PM EST, 9PM Central, 7PM Pacific

Show Link: http://talkshoe.com/tc/23738

Call-In Number: (724) 444-7444, Call ID 23738

Subscribe to 2HRadio in iTunes!

Shedule of Future Guests available on Info page

ALSO, we start Monday episodes next week! My first guest is Shauna Glenn, 10 PM EST this Monday night.

Filed under 2HRadio, BlogHer, Bloggity Blog, Contest, Video Games, iPhone | Comments (4)