Twenty Things I Would Love to Say, But Have Not
Thanks to the lovely Angela Gunn for her guest post yesterday. I had a lovely meal while reading it. Two, actually. Tomorrow, yet another exciting guest blogger, so stay tuned.
Last night was insanely social for me for some reason. From 10pm thru till about 3 this morning, it was one phone call after another, mixed with IM, Twitter, texting, Skype, webcams…exhausting. Fun, but exhausting. And GeekyTaiTai gives great tongue.
Then there’s all the shit I’ve gotten from this post over the last few days. Amazing how many people don’t seem to have a sense of humor. If you can’t recognize a totally over-the-top spoof, you probably will want to stop reading this blog, like, now. In fact, I hope you will.
Still, it’s good to be back in the blogging saddle. If I can get people’s panties in a twist on Day 2 of my return, all is not lost.
Sybil Law and I had a great convo last night. How I love that woman, though she really did pressure me to write the vile post I was fantasizing about, so I don’t know if she’ll be my Go-To Girl for advice when I’m trying to calm myself down in the future.
I seem to have extended my annual Social Season (this year consisting of TequilaCon, ConFab, and BlogHer in a couple of weeks) another month. Just booked flights to Alabama and Kentucky for next month. It’s Kim’s birthday so I’ll be there for that, then flying to Louisville (which Diana assured me multiple times via webcamchat I’m pronouncing ridiculously badly) to hang with Laci and the other local Kentucky folk.
At some point, I’m really going to need to seal myself into my cave for some serious hibernation. But for now, I’ll gladly deplete my Social Battery over and over.
There are always a million memes screaming around the Net, but one that happens to catch my eye most every time someone blogs it is this one. Thought I’d give it a try. I’m pretty much a straight-shooter, but I do keep a lot of shit to myself. Therapists have told me that’s not a good thing.
Things I’d Love to Say To Certain People, But Haven’t
- I used to really enjoy you. Now I see what a mean-spirited, pathetic little person you are.
- I really miss you like crazy, but feel like I can’t be with you any more, for obvious reasons.
- I’d never treat my worst enemy the way you’ve treated me lately. God only knows what you say behind my back, because the shit you’ve said publicly is pretty vile.
- You have a lot of people snowed, which has always amazed me. Yet some of us can see your Emperor’s New Clothes just fine. Just who those people are would surprise you.
- Lighten the fuck up, asshole.
- I can only pray you don’t believe everything you’re being told. Because most of it is utter bullshit.
- I thank God for you every day. True friends are a rare commodity, and I’m glad to see those few people for who they are these days.
- I’d love to verbally thrash you publicly, but I don’t believe in airing my laundry in public. Kind of the opposite of your M.O., really.
- Out of all the people I know, you make it the hardest to bite my tongue. By the way, it’d be nice if there was a Band-Aid that sticks to the tongue.
- I wish you weren’t married.
- I’ll never forget the last three words you said to me. Some things are truly unforgivable, which seems ironic now.
- I have PTSD, bipolar, ADD, severe depressive disorder, and yet somehow you make me look sane. Way to go.
- I have the hugest crush on you, but will likely never act on it, let alone tell you.
- Just because you follow something with “Just kidding,” it doesn’t erase the assholish words you just said.
- There was a time when I lived for the Drama, but when I watch you orchestrate it like a Master Conductor these days, it sickens me.
- There aren’t adequate words for how sorry I am, but I don’t know what else to say or do to make reparations.
- Sometimes inappropriate is funny, but that wasn’t. At all.
- I wish you’d forget I exist.
- I often imagine slapping you because the most-uttered words from your mouth are, “I’m sorry.” It’s like if you say “I love you” 578 times a day to the same person – the words lose their importance.
- I’m a very good judge of character, but I’m sure glad I was wrong about my first impressions of you.
There, that feels slightly better. Perhaps there’s no need to throw Molotov Cocktails anyone’s way, after all.
Filed under Local Goings On, Memes, Rants, Travel | Comments (40)Da Plane! Da Plane!
For those that are too young to remember that quote, “Da Plane! Da Plane!” is from the original Fantasy Island TV show. And that particular line was from the midget known as Tattoo, Khan’s right-hand man. Or Mr. Roarke, whatever.
I bring up Tattoo because I may actually be getting my first tattoo in a couple of weeks. Not the TequilaCon variety of tattoo, which comes off within a few days, a REAL one.
That’s right, Mr. Wild & Crazy is tatless. But my pending road trip to Lexington, Kentucky for the party fest known as ConFab has me thinking about getting one. There’s going to be a tattoo excursion and I think I’m going along for it.
The problem with tattoos, for me anyway, is finding the right one. What the hell do you put on your body PERMANENTLY when you’re one of those people who bore fairly easily? It’s not like my desktop wallpaper, where I can change the picture dozens of times a day if I feel like it. Tattoos don’t come off. Not without lasers, at any rate, and I’ve yet to go peeling off layers of epidermis with laser beams…don’t feel like starting now, either.
So contemplating something cool enough to place on your body is difficult, especially when you’re thinking 40 years down the road. What’s cool enough, significant enough, to put on your arm or shoulder or the small of your back, that isn’t going to look positively ridiculous when you’re 82 years old and not the tight, lean, fighting machine you are today? (cough)
I don’t know the answer to that question, but I’m working on it. The only thing I can think of so far is to get the little cartoon smoking guy at the top of my blog. See, even when I quit smoking (and I will), I’m pretty sure that some iteration of the smoking dude will always appear here at 2HT. So that’s where I’m leaning at the moment.
Course, I could make that 14-hour drive to Kentucky in a couple of weeks and totally change my mind. I could wander into the tattoo parlor, see the needle, and say “No fucking way.” But for now, I’m feeling more and more like this may be my first ink. We’ll see. Thoughts?
Now for a meme. I got tagged by Kim for this Crazy 8’s meme. Haven’t done one in a while, so I thought I’d give it a go. I don’t tag people back, but feel free to yank it and put it on your own blog, of course.
To do list (i.e. “the rules”):
- Mention the person who tagged me, and I did !!
- Complete the list of 8’s, and I did !!
- Tag 8 bloggers & tell them I tagged them!
Eight things I am looking forward to:
- ConFab, June 11-13, roughly. Lots of friends, old and new.
- Road trip with Jill TO ConFab.
- Watching the “Reaper” series finale some time today.
- The magical room-moving fairies that are going to clean my current bedroom and move all my shit into the NEW bedroom.
- BlogHer ‘09, Chicago (July)! Rooming with Neil, a first time attendee, and a chick magnet.
- SecondHand Radio tomorrow night. My guest is my buddy Mike. Gonna be a blast.
- Sex. Just kidding, there’s virtually no chance of that happening any time soon.
- iPhone 3.0!
Eight things I did yesterday:
- Worked
- Went to Walgreens
- Had dinner with Mom & friends at the Olive Garden
- Watched far too much television.
- Hung out with Mindy and Sarah for a while last night.
- Played a fuckton of Zombieville USA on my iPhone.
- Listened to Adam Carolla’s podcast. Seriously? Best podcast on Earth.
- Smoked.
Eight things I wish I could do:
- Play piano.
- Have sex, maybe on the piano.
- Finish one of my frakking novels.
- Heal relationships.
- Travel the world.
- Escape my depression forever.
- Get a new pancreas so I can eat giant fishbowls full of Fruity Pebbles again.
- Marry Jaime Murray.
Eight shows I watch:
- Jeopardy
- Fringe
- Lost
- Heroes
- Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
- Leverage
- House
- Criminal Minds
Eight favorite fruits:
- Grapes
- Bananas
- Watermelon
- Cherries
- Pineapples
- Oranges
- Apples
- Peaches
Eight places I’d like to travel:
- Australia
- U.K.
- Netherlands
- Spain
- Hawaii
- Canada
- Africa
- Alaska
Eight places I’ve lived:
- Westhampton Beach, NY
- Alamogordo, NM
- England
- Biloxi, MS
- Dallas, TX
- San Antonio, TX
- Boca Raton, FL
- Sebring, FL
20 Albums That Rocked My World
Got tagged by Ginger to do this. I don’t tag back, but as usual, feel free to do this yourself.
Think of 20 albums, CDs, LPs (if you’re over 40), that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life. Dug into your soul. Music that brought you to life when you heard it. Royally affected you, kicked you in the wazoo, literally socked you in the gut, is what I mean. Then when you finish, tag 15 others, including me. Make sure you copy and paste this part so they know the drill.
These are in no particular order, of course. I love music and could probably come up with five times as many items as I did here. Narrowing it down was actually harder work. There are a number of soundtracks here. I thought about eliminating them from the list, but these soundtracks introduced me to a lot of artists I might not have discovered otherwise. And Grease? Well, Grease was the word. 
1. Billy Joel – Glass Houses
2. The Hooters – Nervous Night
3. Grease – Soundtrack
4. INXS – Listen Like Thieves
5. Beatles – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
6. Rock and Roll High School – Soundtrack
7. INXS – Kick
8. Foreigner – 4
9. Barenaked Ladies – Gordon
10. The Eagles – The Long Run
11. “Weird Al” Yankovic – “Weird Al” Yankovic
12. Prince – Purple Rain
13. Depeche Mode – Violator
14. Old 97’s – Fight Songs
15. Rick Springfield – Tao
16. Fast Times at Ridgemont High – Soundtrack
17. Peter Gabriel – So
18. U2 – The Joshua Tree
19. The Killers – Hot Fuss
20. Ben Folds – Rockin’ the Suburbs
