100 Things About Karl, Part Nine

June 24th, 2008

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It’s time once again for the 2HT Summer of Love. Last year if you’ll recall, I had over three weeks of guest posts from an all-female superblogging cast. I was so surprised by the acceptance rate because 95% of the people I asked to guest post said YES. Had guest bloggers EVERY DAY for three weeks.

This year, it’ll be a bit different. There are still quite a few (24) that agreed to write guest posts. But I won’t be having guest posts every day. Instead, starting a week from today, there will be guest bloggers on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays all through July and much of August. And there will be female AND male guest bloggers.

I’ve given them all carte blanche. They can write about anything they want, SAY anything they want, so it’ll be really interesting to see what they all come up with. I produced the schedule yesterday and still haven’t heard from about 10 people. If they get back to me (hint hint) then I’ll just tack them on in August.

And I’ll be blogging the other four days of the week, so no worries there, either.

OK, on to my 100 Things list, still in progress. I’ve been slowly putting the list together in 10-item segments. This is Part 9 of 10.

  1. I wear my heart on my sleeve, for the most part. I’ve been told many times in the past that I have a flat affect, meaning that much of the time you can’t read my emotions via my face. That’s probably true. But anyone who knows me personally (and to a large extent, anyone who reads my blog) will know I am a rather passionate person. Mix that in with being bipolar and you’ll see LOTS of emotion. Case in point: the recent blog drama that I’m done talking about. Hilly asked me if I thought I was going through a manic phase during all of that, and I’m pretty sure she’s right. Regardless, I care deeply for many people, and I care deeply about many subjects. You might not like me for voicing my opinion on certain things, but you WILL be sure of one thing: I feel.
  2. I have a difficult time crying in “real life.” What I mean by that is that it’s extremely rare for me to cry unless we’re talking about some stimulus that generates the tears, like movies, TV shows, and music. I’ll tear up from time to time. Funerals will do it. Sunday, on my way home from Britt’s, I actually cried just thinking about Lisa, praying like hell she’s not going to rip my heart out. One of my favorite quotes, though, I heard from Deacon Bill at my old church in Dallas. He told me, “The moment you say ‘I love you’ is the moment you begin to say goodbye to that person.” That hit me like a ton of bricks, so profound a truth. That’s what love is, opening yourself up and becoming vulnerable. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but the fact of the matter is that the older I get, the more and more I’m going to be saying goodbye to people I love.
  3. I’m smart. Apparently, genius smart. You’d never know it from my blog, perhaps, with all the naked blogging and silliness, but I have an I.Q. of 182. I would never say that to anyone because I’m not really about the bragging (but I’m running out of things to say about myself). I’m not a savant by any stretch of the imagination, but I know a lot of useless shit. Mensa asked me to join their little club, but fuck that. I’m not about mutual mental masturbation. PHYSICAL masturbation, maybe, but sitting around with a bunch of “smart people” who all KNOW they’re smart people and flaunt it around like Liberace did with his rhinestoned capes? Well, that really turns me off. My friends are smart…I love hanging around with them. But we don’t need to TALK about how smart we are.
  4. I want people to like me. Sometimes I NEED them to like me, but I’ve gotten much better at controlling that aspect of my insecurities. As a kid, being bullied quite a bit, I learned how to be funny. Funny works for me. Everyone likes funny, even bullies. Didn’t keep me from getting my ass kicked on a semi-regular basis, but SOME of the bullies backed off of me when I made them laugh. It used to kill me when someone didn’t like me. Now I realize that it’s impossible for everyone to appreciate the awesomeness that is me. And I’m OK with that. Still, it hurts on occasion. The recent blog drama wounded me in a few ways. Nothing permanent, mind you, but when you put so much of your raw self out there for everyone to see and critique (like I did a couple of weeks ago), you’re bound to get some people that have some not-very-nice things to say to you.
  5. I hate my teeth. It’s my Achilles heel. Yes, I’m the person responsible for them getting in such a sad and sorry shape, but I wish I could blink my eyes or wiggle my nose and create the perfect smile. They’re cracked, full of cavities, and yellowed. Because of that, I rarely smile fully so that my teeth show. Usually, it’s a closed-mouth smile. You want to hurt me? Talk about my fucked-up teeth. That’ll do it. My self-image is far from great and I fantasize that my life would improve a thousand-fold if I had a whole new pearly white set of choppers. Every time a girlfriend breaks up with me, I torture myself by dreaming that it’s because of my teeth.
  6. I still love to read a newspaper. A physical, paper newspaper. I love the way it feels in my hands, I love the printed word. I even love that newspapers make your hands dirty from all the newsprint. Yes, I get a LOT of my news from TV and the InterTubes. But there’s nothing like a newspaper, especially on Sunday. Mmmm, a hot cup of coffee and the funny pages. Doesn’t get much better than that…unless I’m getting fellated while drinking coffee and reading the funny pages. I’m kidding, of course. I wouldn’t drink coffee while getting a blow job.
  7. I suffer from occasional Attention Deficit Disorder. I bring this up because there are times that I cannot READ a newspaper. Just can’t do it. It frustrates the hell out of me, too, because I love to read so much. In those times, I can’t read the novel(s) I’m working on, either. It’s very difficult to read anything, including blogs, which are a daily part of my life. It’s like my brain races too fast a lot of the time…a million thoughts (often diametrically opposed) running through my brain and I can’t process all that shit at once. Hate it. Without meds, I’d never get to sleep. And oftentimes I’ll almost mentally collapse into sleep, all those thoughts racing in my head.
  8. At the same time, I have a terrible habit of multitasking. I say “terrible” - it’s really a blessing AND a curse. There’s so much shit going on in my head at times that I simply CANNOT focus on just ONE thing. Even now, as I write this, I’m typing and watching Anderson Cooper on CNN. I also often carry on conversations while I’m writing AND watching TV. This annoys a lot of people because they feel like I’m not paying them the full attention they may deserve. But I AM. It’s just that I can’t sit still doing only ONE thing. Seriously, I need like five or six more Karls.
  9. I think Donnie Darko sucks. The movie. I heard nothing but raves about it for YEARS and I finally watched it earlier this year. It blows. Big chunks. It’s not clever or riveting. It’s just stupid and weird. I’m all about the independent films. Love ‘em. Well, a lot of them. Donnie Darko is just awful. Now Harvey. There’s an invisible rabbit I can believe in. I guess there are a lot of people that appreciate movies simply because they’re different. Not me. I like movies that are different and GOOD. Jacob’s Ladder? Now, THAT’S different and good.
  10. I hate when people slam doors or cabinet doors. Or drawers. What the fuck is wrong with you people? How much effort does it take to quietly shut a door behind you? Or to gently slide a drawer shut instead of letting it BANG closed? It’s like they have absolutely no consideration for other people in the house. My sister is like that. When I lived with her, she’d slam the cabinet doors shut and I’d hear it all the way upstairs with my bedroom door closed. I don’t get it. Bugs the ever-loving shit out of me.

Whew, only 10 more to go and I’ll be finished.

Filed under 100 Things, Memes, Uncategorized | Comments (42)

100 Things About Karl, Part Eight

June 2nd, 2008

Thanks to Jester for being my guest yesterday on SecondHand Radio. It’s always a pleasure talking to him and I can’t wait to meet the guy in person in July, when I have my annual Hillython in California. Oh, and BlogHer, of course, for which I won a free pass from Hakia.com. And ComicCon. And I hope to meet up with tons of other California bloggers, too.

Go to the SecondHand Radio link above to download last night’s show and listen to it. OR you can subscribe to SecondHand Radio through iTunes! Yeah, baby!

One other way to subscribe? With your feedreader!

Here’s the guest roundup for the next couple of months on SecondHand Radio:

I had no technical troubles last night with the show, but I will say that the new advertising Blog Talk Radio is utilizing is a huge turn-off. Now, whenever you go to a show’s page, these pop-over ads come up. You HAVE to listen to them for 20-30 seconds before they take you to the show’s page. Ugh. That shit sucks. I can see switching in the near future. They’ve ALREADY got ads up in the sidebars. Isn’t that enough?

OK, time for another edition of the ongoing 100 Things About Karl list. This is part eight. Six of these items appeared in a recent post (Six More Random Things About Me) and the other four are new.

  1. I hate when I write a numbered list of items or do a meme with many, many questions and then in the comments people refer back to the #’s in the list. Like “I so agree with #12 and cannot BELIEVE #46! I didn’t realize you could fit a #38 in there.” Because I have to go back and scroll up the page to see what the fuck they’re talking about. I realize it’s inherent with the situation…it IS a numbered list, after all, but that doesn’t make me hate it less. And I know you punks. You’re gonna do that number-referencing thing a lot in the comments now just because I said that.
  2. I’m a sit-down peer. I mean, I pee sitting down whenever I can. Unless there’s a urinal. I love urinals. They make me proud to be a man. Well, at least HAPPY to be a man. So yeah, there you go. I like sitting down when I pee. Does that get me any closer to getting some pussy? I mean, I’m just about a woman, already! I’d make a great lesbian.
  3. So apparently when I’m really really drunk. I mean BEYOND drunk. The kind of drunk where you masturbate in front of women that you’re not sleeping with and may have just met, THAT kind of drunk. When I’m that kind of drunk I pee in places that aren’t exactly meant for that sort of thing. I mean, they’re not even receptacles of any kind. This has happened on two nearly-public rugs. But those aren’t the ONLY times I’ve found myself naked and standing or in this case sitting in urine. Oh no, they most certainly aren’t. You’d think that these might be perceived of as life lessons and that I wouldn’t drink that much ever again. But you’d think wrong. It’s very, very RARE. But it happens.
  4. I am by nature very non-confrontational. I don’t like to see people arguing, particularly when it’s a really heated argument and there’s namecalling and hairpulling going on…even in a virtual sense. I’m a “calm the waters” kind of guy. I want everyone to get along, to play nicely with one another. I’ll even go so far as to try and placate the screaming heads. Don’t get me wrong, it IS possible to get my hackles up in a knot (or whatever the hell hackles do when they’re in an excited state). I DO have a few buttons and they can be pushed. But they’re few and far between and you have to try really hard to push those buttons. Still, I can bust words with the best of them. And I will. Maybe.
  5. I love having people - well, women, to be more precise - play with my hair. Love it. That’s why I love getting my hair cut, someone plays with my hair for 15 minutes. It’s like that old game 15 Minutes in the Closet…but with less tongue. I love when a woman plays around with my hair, sometimes going into a scalp massage, other times scratching my scalp playfully with her nails. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooowwwwwwwwllll.
  6. I love design shows. Trading Spaces? Love it. HGTV? Awesome. I won’t actually turn those shows on, but I’ll watch the living hell out of ‘em if you turn them on for me.
  7. I hate Junebugs. They’re stupid beetles with wings. Seriously stupid. They fly for these tiny little jaunts and then land (most of the time) on their back, where they viciously kick their legs and try to turn themselves back over. They spend the bulk of their lives on their backs, much like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. I often flip them over to save them, but then within 60 seconds they fly again and land on their back…again. Stupid.
  8. My favorite part of the Sunday newspaper are the ads for Best Buy and Circuit City. Any ads containing gadgets and computers, actually, which also includes Office Max and Office Depot. Yes, I like a few of the comics/funnies, but the first thing I go to are always the ads. Not that I have any money to spend on gadgets, mind you, but still…
  9. I hate NASCAR. Any car races, for that matter. They’re stupid. I will never understand the fascination some people have for watching cars go around and around and around hundreds of times. How is that a sport? It’s DRIVING. In CIRCLES.
  10. I don’t waste time in the bathroom. Not even for number two. I don’t understand people that take 30 minutes to take a shit, bringing reading material or iPhones or whatever. Listen, I wait until I have to take a dump, then I go into the bathroom, do my business, and get out. Five minutes, tops. Everyone else seems to treat shitting like it’s a casual stroll in the park.
Filed under 100 Things, 2HT Radio, Web/Tech, Weblogs | Comments (33)

Six MORE Random Things About Me

May 26th, 2008

Many thanks to Dave for being a fun guest on yesterday’s SecondHand Radio. You can go to the SecondHand Radio site and download it for later listen if you missed out on the fun. Or you can listen to it here:

Hang around a while, that’s fine with me.

So Karen tagged me with a meme the other day. Another Six Weird Things About Me meme. I don’t know how many of these I’ve done over the years, but it’s getting hard to think of original weird shit about me. It’s also coming at a very inopportune time…I’m trying to think of interesting stuff for my 100 Things list (see the link at the top of your browser window). How can I be wasting stuff on a meme as opposed to a LIST?

Fuck it, I’ll just use these six things in the next 10-item list I do for the 100 Things project.

Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
6. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

Well, I never tag people, so fuck the rules. Yeah, I’m feeling feisty tonight. So that eliminates #4 and therefore #5. I think I can handle #6. It’s #3 that messes with me.

  1. I hate when I write a numbered list of items or do a meme with many, many questions and then in the comments people refer back to the #’s in the list. Like “I so agree with #12 and cannot BELIEVE #46! I didn’t realize you could fit a #38 in there.” Because I have to go back and scroll up the page to see what the fuck they’re talking about. I realize it’s inherent with the situation…it IS a numbered list, after all, but that doesn’t make me hate it less. And I know you punks. You’re gonna do that number-referencing thing a lot in the comments now just because I said that.
  2. I’m a sit-down peer. I mean, I pee sitting down whenever I can. Unless there’s a urinal. I love urinals. They make me proud to be a man. Well, at least HAPPY to be a man. So yeah, there you go. I like sitting down when I pee. Does that get me any closer to getting some pussy? I mean, I’m just about a woman, already! I’d make a great lesbian.
  3. So apparently when I’m really really drunk. I mean BEYOND drunk. The kind of drunk where you masturbate in front of women that you’re not sleeping with and may have just met, THAT kind of drunk. When I’m that kind of drunk I pee in places that aren’t exactly meant for that sort of thing. I mean, they’re not even receptacles of any kind. This has happened on two nearly-public rugs. But those aren’t the ONLY times I’ve found myself naked and standing or in this case sitting in urine. Oh no, they most certainly aren’t. You’d think that these might be perceived of as life lessons and that I wouldn’t drink that much ever again. But you’d think wrong. It’s very, very RARE. But it happens.
  4. I am by nature very non-confrontational. I don’t like to see people arguing, particularly when it’s a really heated argument and there’s namecalling and hairpulling going on…even in a virtual sense. I’m a “calm the waters” kind of guy. I want everyone to get along, to play nicely with one another. I’ll even go so far as to try and placate the screaming heads. Don’t get me wrong, it IS possible to get my hackles up in a knot (or whatever the hell hackles do when they’re in an excited state). I DO have a few buttons and they can be pushed. But they’re few and far between and you have to try really hard to push those buttons. Still, I can bust words with the best of them. And I will. Maybe.
  5. I love having people - well, women, to be more precise - play with my hair. Love it. That’s why I love getting my hair cut, someone plays with my hair for 15 minutes. It’s like that old game 15 Minutes in the Closet…but with less tongue. I love when a woman plays around with my hair, sometimes going into a scalp massage, other times scratching my scalp playfully with her nails. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooowwwwwwwwllll.
  6. I love design shows. Trading Spaces? Love it. HGTV? Awesome. I won’t actually turn those shows on, but I’ll watch the living hell out of ‘em if you turn them on for me.
Filed under 100 Things, 2HT Radio, Memes, Uncategorized | Comments (35)
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