Two days left.
Two days for me to get my fill of Twitter and Facebook and blogs.
Two days to wonder how good the cell signal is there.
Two days to wonder if I’ll be able to blog. I’m definitely bringing my journal and notebooks to write in. It’ll be blogging from my phone, if at all, since I’m told there’s no wifi and no Internet.
Two days to get my laundry done and choose 5 sets of clothing that’ll last me a month. Two days to figure out what shirts I’ll take with me.
Two days to squeeze in phone calls.
Two days to figure out what books I want to bring with me. Hell, two days to drop off my library book because I can’t renew it beyond my stay in the inpatient program.
Two days to fill my iPod with music to last me a month.
Two days to enjoy my own bed. Do I bring my own pillow?
Two days to stay up as late as I want. And attempt to sleep in as late as I want (9:30 AM is usually as far as I can get).
Two days of having my schedule be whatever the fuck I want it to be. Eat when I want, test my blood sugar when I want, give myself insulin when I want. Something tells me my schedule will be dictated much differently…in two days.
Two days to wonder if I get a roommate while I’m there. I’m assuming I will, because I can’t believe I’ll be lucky enough not to.
Two days to clear off as many shows from my DVR as possible.
Two days to be thankful that “Lost” finished before this wild psychological experiment. Maybe this is my “sideways timeline.”
Two days until I have to watch what everyone else is watching (Lord, let it not be “Jersey Shore”).
Two days to gather toiletries.
Two days to get a haircut that’ll last me through a month. Considering a crew cut. It’s only gonna get hotter in Florida for the next several months. And a crew cut seems appropriate for scenes that may match “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”
Two days to let the anxiety build and fester.
Two days to keep telling myself this is voluntary and I can leave whenever I want. Two days to keep telling myself this may be the only shot I get at an inpatient program, so leaving prematurely would be asinine.
Two days to wonder why asinine only contains one “s.”
Two days to freak the fuck out.
Two days to count your blessings and be thankful you have a program like this to rely on to possibly help you.
Two days to count your blessings you’ll be somewhere that will provide you the structure and help you need.
Two days to remember that we will be here waiting when you get back to read your words and tell you how much we missed you.
<3 you! Keep your chin up, keep an open mind and you will be so much better when you are through to the other side of this journey.
Sodapop´s last blog ..Well hey there!
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 1:13 pm
@Sodapop, Yes, and two days to whine like a little bitch. Ha. Thanks.
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Two days to remember all the people who care about you and want this to help you.
Two days to get shit done, psych yourself up, and go into this with an open mind.
xoxo
Sybil Law´s last blog ..update
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 1:17 pm
@Sybil Law, Thanks. Working on that open mind thing.
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Can I say that I’m proud of you for taking care of yourself without sounding like a jerk?
Please email me an address if we are allowed to send you letters and/or goodies, because I would like to.
x
Sarah´s last blog .."You’re in it right now, aren’t you?"
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 1:18 pm
@Sarah, I don’t think you sound like a jerk. Thanks. I’m hoping to post an address when I get there.
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Two days that could lead to a lifetime of clarity. Two days to fill up on the love and ass kickings that you want (and deserve, I’m sure) before you pull up the big boy pants and move ahead, albeit with a bit of reservation.
We loves ya, baby. I’m proud of you. No matter how weird that sounds.
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 1:19 pm
@Kris, Thanks.
It’s all the unknown that makes me nervous. Once I’m settled, I’ll probably feel better about it.
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I think the first three pretty much said it all. The most important thing is YOU. Remember we love you, will miss you and will be waiting for you. <3
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 1:22 pm
@metalmom, Appreciate it. Love ya back.
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Two days until you start getting better.
Two days to remember we all love you.
And a haircut? Seriously? That’s something you’re worrying about? Some of the things can actually be done there. Like putting more music on your phone. How about Pandora? As for picking out the clothes, go to your dirty clothes, get the first 5 tees, pants, and underwear you find. Clearly you like those because you’ve recently worn them.
If they’re watching something you don’t like, read a book, play a game on your phone, listen to music. Not a big deal, those are things you like anyway.
And dammit did you ever consider that eating and/or checking your blood sugar when you feel like it might have something to do with how you’ve been feeling? It’s important to keep it on a schedule, so your sugar can be level.
Ok. Sorry. I’ll stop bitching at you now. It’s only 28 days, babe. That’s a fingernail moon to a fingernail moon. You’re brain is going to be so busy it’ll pass quickly. Hang tight, Karl.
Wendy´s last blog ..Dear Thomas
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
@Wendy, I worry about everything, and nothing.
Pandora rocks, but I am doubtful about my phone signal there, plus there won’t be any wifi.
And yes, it occurs to me that my schedule is probably not the best. We shall see.
Thanks for the ass-kicking.
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Always wondered about the spelling of “asinine” myself…
I’m hoping this will be a life-changing experience for you, in only good ways. And I will be one of the many waiting anxiously for your return. Good luck, Karl.
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 6:33 pm
@Bonnie B., Thanks, Bonnie.
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I’m empathically freaking out for you too :p
But like Wendy says, it’s potentially two days until you start feeling better, or at least are on the path to it….
my thoughts are with you.
hugs!
*lynne*
*lynne*´s last blog ..no more BP for me!
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
@*lynne*, Thanks, I’m gonna freak till I see the place for myself and get settled. But that’s not new.
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funny the things you find at random moments… a few years back i went to a day treatment program. It helped me out. I realize this is different, but this will be good. You will be in my thoughts man.
I look forward to your writings… eventually i may have to attempt your journey.
-Aman
onlyaman´s last blog ..#AskAman – Episode 20090902
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 6:37 pm
@onlyaman, Thanks, bud. I know you can relate.
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Love and hugs, dear…
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 7:46 pm
@Cindy, Thanks, Cindy. Give that new baby a squeeze for me.
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I know the program will help you. It is natural to freak out. I was in a similar program for two months and it saved my life. Literally.
Thinking of you, Karl. Hope some of the nurses are hot. XX
Selma´s last blog ..Unchained
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 13th, 2010 at 9:28 pm
@Selma, Thanks very much. Good to hear. And I hope some of them are hot, too.
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Good luck Karl. Will be thinking of you when you’re there.
Rachel´s last blog ..I have no good title for this.
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:08 am
@Rachel, And I’ll be thinking of you. Thanks.
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Seriously? How did I miss the feeds on these posts?
Wow. I’m impressed that you’re doing this, man. Sorry you have to, but glad you are. And I truly hope it all helps.
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:09 am
@kapgar, Thanks, dude. I hope so, too.
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((Hugs)) two days worth of hugs for you
Janelle´s last blog ..Reinvention
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:09 am
@Janelle, Nice, I can always use hugs.
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I know you probably know this, but sometimes it helps to hear it anyway: The routine and structure will help free your mind and let it focus on healing.
This is a good thing you are doing and you are showing your strength by doing it. The easiest thing in the world is to let the darkness overtake you, to let it win. Fighting it takes balls. It takes will. It takes strength.
I’ll be out of reach for a while, but I’m thinking about you. Good luck!
Finn´s last blog ..The Things We Tell Ourselves
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 10:29 am
@Finn, I’m hoping that the structure will do me wonders. Thanks very much.
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Definitely take your own pillow. Take any daily comfort items they will allow you to bring.
Just makes sleeping in a new place easier.
Good luck!!
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:35 pm
@Connie, Thinking I may bring my own pillow, yeah. At the very worst, I can leave it in my car. Thanks.
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I’m so fucking proud of you.
Seriously.
I also love you to death.
You’ve got two days to watch all of the potty porn you shot at Adam’s party.
Sheila´s last blog ..I’m Done With Today
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:36 pm
@Sheila, Thanks, hon. Love you back. And I’m having an all-porn day.
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While I’ve already mentioned this on Twitter, I am sending my best to you during this month.
All of us will be here when you get back. Although if you are able to blog during your stay, we’ll get progress reports on how things are going.
martymankins´s last blog ..All Things Cherry
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
@martymankins, Please, please, please let me blog, even if it’s only via my iPhone. Thanks, dude.
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I like the idea that this is your sideways timeline. And just a crew cut? Go for cue ball, baby!
You’ll make it. I know you will. Deep breaths. Gonna be OK.
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
@Coal Miner’s Granddaughter, Thanks, just went with a shorter version of the usual cut. Totally low maintenance. *deep breaths*
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I’m proud of you Karl. Two days (well one, now) to a fresh start. You need it. You deserve it. Fully commit and I doub’t you’ll be disappointed.
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
June 14th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
@Nancy from Fear and Parenting in LV, Heh, but I’m not being committed. It’s totally voluntary.
Ohhh, I see what you’re saying. Never mind.
Thanks.
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Be good about your insulin and blood sugar until you go in; you don’t want to start ‘off’ and have that impact how they’re treating you. I know blood sugar stuff can make a huge difference in moods.
Lecture aside, hopefully this will be the start of a healthier, happier life. And you know, being a bit out of touch with a lot of social media might not be a bad thing; you can focus all your energy on learning what they’re teaching you and feeling better.
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*breathing in and out of a paper bag with you*
you know where to find me, if you want to talk… before tomorrow.
i believe in you.
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I think it would be fun to see how many of Cuckoo Nest lines you could use during your time there. Some such as…
Which one of you nuts has got any guts?
That’s right, Mr. Martini. There is an Easter Bunny
I’m a goddamn marvel of modern science.
Rules? PISS ON YOUR FUCKING RULES!
Get out of my way son, you’re usin’ my oxygen.
Jesus Christ! D’you nuts wanna play cards or do ya wanna fuckin’ jerk off?
Your hand is staining my window.
Who’s the head bull-goose loony around here?
You’re not an idiot. Huh! You’re not a goddamn looney now, boy. You’re a fisherman!
Nurse Pilbow: Don’t get upset, Mr. McMurphy.
McMurphy: I’m not getting upset, Nurse Pilbow. I just don’t want anyone to slip me salt peter!
Good luck with your new adventure! I do hope you feel better.
elfenkate´s last blog ..Love Me Friday on a Saturday
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Good luck! I hope it all goes well for you. If you can’t blog, we’ll be ready to hear your stories upon your return!
Tracy´s last blog ..Still alive…
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Again, best of luck mate. Don’t forget your chargers. A dead phone and iPod will make Karl sad.
Kevin Spencer´s last blog ..Things I’m Crap At
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