MacGruber: The Ultimate Tool of a Movie
Number of ads I saw that said MacGruber was the best SNL movie since Wayne’s World: 248
Number of ads that lie about MacGruber being the best SNL movie since Wayne’s World: 249
Number of unintentional laughs: Zero
Number of intentional laughs: Negative zero
Number of people in the theater at start of movie: 9
Number of people in the theater at end of movie: 7
Number of times celery stuck out of someone’s ass: 2
Number of times jokes were overused: 42
Number of tiny deaths Val Kilmer’s career had in 88 minutes: 18
Number of times I felt like leaving the theater during the movie: 34
Number of times I was too dumb to leave the theater during the movie: 35
Number of dimes I want Will Forte to give me as a result of suffering through this film: 65 (matinee price)
Grade: F- (Avoid at all costs)
I had no real desire to see this because I always thought the MacGruber sketches on SNL kinda sucked. To be honest, I think I just don’t like Will Forte.
Now, Kristen Wiig on the other hand. Love her. Longtime.
Kevin Spencer´s last blog ..What I’ve Been Listening To For The Last 3 Months
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Hilly Reply:
May 21st, 2010 at 3:40 pm
@Kevin Spencer, I can’t stand him either.
Hilly´s last blog ..Pumpkin Eater…
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
May 21st, 2010 at 3:52 pm
@Kevin Spencer, Like Kristen a lot, too. I’d heard reviews saying that this movie wasn’t nearly as bad as you might think. The reviewers were clearly paid off.
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Wait, Val Kilmer’s career was still alive before this?
All of the other numbers are about what I expected. Oh, except for the number of dimes — no punitive damages?
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
May 21st, 2010 at 3:52 pm
@Ren, Good point. There ought to be punitive damages.
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The SNL skits with Betty White sound like they were better than what this movie turned out to be. Guess it’s time to break out “Night at the Roxbury” and “Wayne’s World” to show what SNL-based movies should be like.
martymankins´s last blog ..Catching Up
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
May 21st, 2010 at 9:16 pm
@martymankins, And who can forget the best of them all…the Blues Brothers.
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AWESOME! I cannot WAIT for this movie. I hope I get to see it tonight!
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
May 21st, 2010 at 9:17 pm
@Dave2, enjoy!
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Val Kilmer’s in this movie?
:p
[had no intentions of ever seeing this movie, so your excellent review has just cemented that opinion, big time! Thanks!!]
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
May 21st, 2010 at 9:17 pm
@*lynne*, Yep, Val Kilmer is in it. And you’re welcome. Thanks for my postcard!
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I laughed my ass off at this movie. It’s a perfect parody of 80s action films.
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
May 21st, 2010 at 9:18 pm
@Avitable, We must have different ideas of the word “perfect.” I maintain it’s a perfect shitfest.
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SNL has been in a long period of suckage, as far as I’m concerned. So for them to make another movie clearly equals longer suckage to me.
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
May 21st, 2010 at 9:19 pm
@Wendy, SNL is pretty craptastic most of the time. The Betty White episode was great, I admit. And there have been a few good flicks…Blues Brothers, Wayne’s World.
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Wendy Reply:
May 22nd, 2010 at 6:32 am
@Secondhand Karl, Yes, Blues Brothers and Waynes World were great. That was back when they DIDN’T suck. I missed the Betty White episode.
Wendy´s last blog ..Dear Thomas
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Wendy Reply:
May 22nd, 2010 at 7:08 am
@Secondhand Karl, Also, I can’t believe I said “longer suckage” and you didn’t have anything to say about it.
Wendy´s last blog ..Dear Thomas
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
May 22nd, 2010 at 10:15 am
@Wendy, I still have the Betty White ep on my DVR. Come on down and we’ll watch. And I’ve been a little off lately. I blame that for missing your double entendre.
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I forgot to make my own comment yesterday, which is: I can’t believe that this is what “film-making” has come to in the first place.
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
May 22nd, 2010 at 11:01 am
@Hilly, I honestly would love to sit in on some of these sessions.
“Wait, you actually want to MAKE this pile of shit into a MOVIE?! With a $30 MILLION budget?! Are you ingesting heroine?”
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