Happy Easter to you and yours. Hope it’s a great day.
March’s Resolution for the YOR was exercise…five days a week. I’m saying it was a successful month, despite being sick for the last couple of weeks. I plan to continue on with it, even if the local Y isn’t yet offering Tantric Yoga classes.
I meant for this month to be totally different when it comes to the April Resolution. I’m gonna put that one off till maybe next month. Instead, I’m going with something that the Matrix Therapist mentioned last week in our session.
Reconnecting.
I haven’t yet figured out the metrics portion of this Resolution. Basically, it all comes down to my girls and reestablishing a connection. Long story I’ve alluded to before, but in my really Dark Days, I thought they were better off without me around. A self-fulfilling prophecy. I was very mistaken, it’s plagued me for years, and I’m trying to do something about it. Again.
But there’s more to the reconnecting than my girls. I have quite a few people I need to reconnect with, and this is the month I start making that happen. I have emails to write, blogs to read for the first time in forever, phone calls, texts.
My myopia tends to shove friends and even family to the outskirts of my attention. And the more depressed I get, the more powerful those blinders get. This might make sense somewhere in the dust bunny farm known as my brain, but it’s counterproductive. My support group is largely online. The bulk of my friends are elsewhere, so it’s time to reach out and bring some of these long-lost folks back to the fold.
So don’t be too surprised if you suddenly see me on your blog, or if you get an email from me from out of the blue. Crawling out of this Funk ain’t easy, but I’m still trying to push through it.
In the meantime, here’s to hoping Jesus doesn’t see his shadow today, or there will be six more weeks of Apocalypse.













It’s a damned good resolution!!
xoxo
Sybil Law´s last blog ..Another post!
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 4th, 2010 at 11:31 am
@Sybil Law, Yeah, I’m still working out the details of how I can *measure* my success. May be more of a gut feel than something quantitative, though.
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Kiss my grits.
I’m used to myopia, do it myself all the time, and am myopic in the eyes.
Happy zombie Jesus day.

Poppy´s last blog ..Can she do it?
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 4th, 2010 at 11:32 am
@Poppy, Heh, and to you.
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Hah! What Poppy said. Also, I like the clean-shaven you! Good luck with your resolutions my friend!
Tiffany´s last blog ..Hot like wasabe when I bust rhymes
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 4th, 2010 at 7:38 pm
@Tiffany, Thanks very much. Was growing weary of the beard.
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I know being lost in shadows. Watching other people enjoy the light and envying and missing them, that happiness. What you should know, is even in the shadows….you cast a huge light.
flutter´s last blog ..My dog is trying to sue me
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 4th, 2010 at 7:38 pm
@flutter, Aw, thanks.
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Reconnection is good. Being good to yourself is better. I have been taking things one day at a time (shit, sometimes one hour at a time), having faith in myself that everything will work out.
I have that hope for you too.

Robin´s last blog ..The “M” Month
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 4th, 2010 at 7:39 pm
@Robin, Thanks, the same goes both ways.
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That’s a great resolution/target, Karl! I know how easy it is to let connections lapse, and the challenge it is to reestablish them. Wishin ya all the best for this month
btw I’m doing another round of my Postcard/Link Exchange event, if you’re interested in joining…?

*lynne*´s last blog ..a month of resolutions: March recap and April outlook
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 5th, 2010 at 8:47 am
@*lynne*, Thought I already signed up. Thanks, Lynne. It’s not going to be easy but I’m going to give it a shot.
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This is a great resolution for you, Karl. It can be easy to push people away when you’re going through such hard times. It’s not always so easy to pull them back. It takes courage, and that, my friend, is something you have a hell of a lot of. Kudos to you for every single reconnection you make. I hope they all lead up to the big one.
Wendy´s last blog ..If You Don’t Have Anything Good to Say
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 5th, 2010 at 8:48 am
@Wendy, Thanks. The big one would be nice.
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Oh, that’s a good one for you. Best of luck.
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 5th, 2010 at 8:49 am
@bubblewench, Thanks. Gonna start work on that today!
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This is good, I think. You seem to do well with human interaction but take the slow boat to get there, haha.
I totally understand this lately because I disappear from blogs for five days at a time and then suddenly I am all over the place.
Anyway, looking forward to your comments and thoughts, of course.
Hilly´s last blog ..Mirrored Sunglasses…
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 6th, 2010 at 10:23 am
@Hilly, Heh, I do take the slow boat. I need to expand my circle.
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Hey…I know I’m not high on the list (since I know you don’t really know me!!) but I look forward to hearing from you. I’m still trying to do a YOR, you’re storming it, dude.
Your April YOR = Fucking genius. Shall I bore you with how I do the same thing when I’m sucking face with depression?
…nah. I’ll wait to hear from you instead. ;o) x
jay´s last blog ..April "Year of Resolutions"
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 6th, 2010 at 10:24 am
@jay, I think many of us do the Ostrich thing when depressed. I may surprise you with a visit soon.
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I know what it’s like to push people away because you are in a bad place. I think I’ll join you in that resolution, but only if they are good people for me to be around. No more negative Nellies.
ADW´s last blog ..Fight for This Love
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 6th, 2010 at 10:26 am
@ADW, Oh yeah, none of the negative folks, thanks. I can’t be bothered.
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This is an awesome resolution. Good luck, darlin’!
And? That last sentence? Made me laugh out loud.

Coal Miner’s Granddaughter´s last blog ..Missing In Action
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 7th, 2010 at 10:02 am
@Coal Miner’s Granddaughter, Thanks…this month may be a real bitch, resolution wise.
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I tend to withdraw when things are stressful which only makes things worse because then in addition to whatever I was upset about I get mopey about how “no one cares” about me when really it was me that pushed them away.
I love that you recognized this in yourself and are making steps to change things. Friends are good…even (especially?) when you are sad/down.
radioactive tori´s last blog ..Still Fine
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 7th, 2010 at 10:03 am
@radioactive tori, Friends are definitely helpful when I’m down. I just need to learn to reach out during those times, instead of not wanting to drag other people down into my muck.
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You should seriously make a list and calendar time to reach out to various people, on a regular basis. That way you force yourself to think about it and adopt better connecting habits.
And as someone who had to rebuild my relationship with my dad, I can tell you that an honest apology — not a huge one even, but one where you acknowledge your wrongs — is a great start toward getting to a better place. From there, it’s all about action; they may not believe you at first, but if you actually follow through it’ll be all good.
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Secondhand Karl Reply:
April 10th, 2010 at 11:00 am
@sandra, Lists and calendars, not a bad idea. Thanks. It’s that rebuilding thing that seems so difficult.
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