Right, so I know Saturday was supposed to be the end of the Summer of Love here at 2HT. And it would have been. Except today is, well, still technically August. And I have been begging for Crystal to write me a guest post from within the first 60 minutes of meeting her in Chicago last month. And she finally got around to sending me one just before midnight last night.
And it’s Crystal.
From Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper. If you think I’m not posting something from HER, you’re insane. She rocks my socks. So now I leave you with the REAL last guest post from the Summer of Love
Back to regular programming tomorrow (and the regular 2HT banner). -Karl
I took my toddler, Harmony, to the park today.
At 5:30 am, she stood motionless and unblinking near my face as I slept. My arm was hanging off and I’m sure there was drool.
Kids have the spooky ability to remain that way for an indefinite period of time so that they can scare the bejeezly shit out of you. When you’re somewhere that requires any form of reverence, however, you can tranq them and superglue their ass to the seat and their remaining that way for longer than 23 seconds is a statistical impossibility.
It typically only takes about a minute or so until I sense, somewhere in my psyche, that there is a face in my personal bubble. Before coherent thought can form, I am up in the middle of the bed shrieking like a pantywaist and piddling all over my husband, Chris. This happens at least five times a year, with each child. If I have a nervous tic and I don’t like sudden movements, I think it’s fucking justified.
No matter how disconcerting my screams or the hysteria that ensues, Harmony finds this uproariously funny – so much so that as I’m gasping for air and clutching my chest, she is doing the same, but for much different reasons. She will be doubled over, her chubby fists balled up on her knees and tears rolling down her cheeks as I struggle to make sense of what has just happened.
After the shock had worn off, she quietly asked for a ‘pop dart’ and I rolled out of bed to begin our day, trying to let Chris get some much-needed sleep. I denied her repeated requests for a pop dart and we compromised with cereal and juice. I watched her eat and marveled, for the thousandth time, at her beautiful, natural ringlets and her methodical destruction of her pajamas as she independently scooped big, sloppy spoonfuls of cereal into her mouth, the milk dripping over the sides and down her clothes.
At 8 am, we were watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse when I sat up and told her to find her shoes. “We’re going to the park.” I have been housebound for almost a week and the despair and anxiety I had been suffering as a result of some very poor choices and necessary lifestyle changes was beginning to lift.
She looked at me in disbelief, her huge, blue eyes confused. “We go to da park? Da park, Momma? We go to da playground?”
My heart ached as I nodded and watched her face erupt into an ear-splitting smile. She went in search of her sneakers and I counted in my head the number of times I have taken her to the park. I counted less than five. My job, a job that I’m grateful for, especially in today’s economy, is no longer a job. It is a life. It is one that I alternately hate and fear. It is one that has caused me such stress and anxiety that it has played a huge part in my medicated, hospitalized, destructive life as of late. It is one that has forced me to compromise my morals and the very person I’ve worked so hard to become. As a result, my family has suffered.
We took stale bread and fed the ducks. I heeded her demands of, “Higher, Momma!”, and I watched her climb and explore and learn and live. After a while, I urged her that we needed to go and eat lunch. I couldn’t stand the disappointment on her face, so I chose to take her to a restaurant that has a huge children’s area. “It’s a better playground,” I assured her. She was satisfied with that, so we went. I spent the next hour fishing her out of giant tubes when she was convinced that she had climbed into another universe and began wailing in fright. But we also played with all the toys and I didn’t’ give a damn when she declared, “You’re too big for dat toy, Momma,” indicating said tubes. “I’m little.” I grimaced in horror when I saw the color of the bottom of her bare feet and I fretted over the trillions of germs, but her joy was worth the risk.
At home in the afternoon, I put her in bed for a nap, pushed her curls off her forehead and kissed her mouth. She smelled like kool-aid. “I love you, Momma.”
“I love you. You’re my little guy.”
“I’m not a guy, Momma. I’m a guwull.”
“Have a good nap.”
I sat outside for a while. The afternoon was passing and a blessedly cool breeze was coming around the corner of the house. I watched some kids down the street playing basketball in the cove and I thought about the last time I really noticed what my kids were doing. I tried to remember the last date I had with my husband. I struggled to put even a tentative time frame on the last real kiss we had shared. I couldn’t remember what peace and contentment had ever felt like.
I picked up crayolas off the floor and training panties from the bathroom. There was a struggle going on inside me, one that had been raging and gnashing to be born, to be resolved. I dealt with it accordingly; I pushed it away.
When I wrestled Harmony into bed for the night, I tried to reason with her. “Ok, little guy, it’s been a long day. You need to sleep. You have a big day tomorrow.” I was referring to daycare.
She grabbed my face and pulled it in close. “We go feed da ducks. And den we go to da playground,” she chirped. “And den we go to da betta playground!”
It was at that moment when the struggle was laid to rest. I’m quitting my job tomorrow and looking for a life that doesn’t begin and end with a time clock. I’m going to the park.
Great post and OMG she is BEAUTIFUL!
Crystal, damn, woman. That girl is beautiful, just like her momma. Thanks for putting this together, and for putting up with my repeated nagging for a guest post. Next, I want you on my show. Just saying.
I wish I had the guts to just tell my bossman to shove it. But I’m a pussy.
I’ve taken my seven year old to the park even less than you’ve taken Harmony.
And I live and breathe by the stupid time clock. And I fucking hate it.
Great big squishy booby hugs to you, Crystal.
i would love to have crystal on your show, met her blogher 08, went to dinner and laughed, laughed, laughed. great person and writer. (and a bit shy)
Wow. You made me laugh and cry and nod my head like an idiot. Ok, I might to that part a lot.
Incredible fucking post. I mean it. Good for you for choosing your family over *anything* that compromises your morals. I have to go back to work now, and I’m afraid of that very thing.
Oh! Maybe I can have your job!
That is such a beautiful post… Thank you. And what an absolutely beautiful little girl!
heartbreaking!!!
and your little guwull is just gorgeous.
one of my best friends just quit her job to stay home with the house and kids, getting the family’s life together. i’m thrilled for her.
(and she just started a blog! http://www.thechickortheegg.com/)
Holy Shit Crystal? I am scared and jealous all at the same time. I sold my soul to the devil for money and I feel stuck. All.The.Time.
If you need anything I am here for you! Smooshy kisses. M
Karl – Excellent taste in guest bloggers!
Secondhand Karl Reply:
August 31st, 2009 at 4:12 pm
@usedtobeme, Very true. My taste is exquisite.
Great post. I had the same feeling this morning dropping my kids off this morning, moving my suitcase (for a weeklong business trip) out of the way to grab lunchboxes and backpacks.
Great post and awesome picture!
Lovely.
Except that it is against health code regulations to climb in those tubes without socks on.
And
Even if you hate it, a job that pays the bills is better than loosing your house, car, and not being able to feed your children.
Next time…. find a new job before you quit the old one.
Start making good choices.
Wendy Reply:
August 31st, 2009 at 10:46 pm
@yellowpygmy, It’s not against health regulations to climb in the tubes without socks where I am. The only signs say to take off the shoes.
Somehow I don’t think she’s dumb enough to quit and be a stay at home mom if she can’t afford it.
I’m not sure *you* would know what a good choice for her is, either, since you aren’t her, don’t know her situation, and obviously aren’t a friend of hers.
Zoe Right Reply:
August 31st, 2009 at 11:30 pm
@yellowpygmy, Dude, who do you think you are? She writes this beautiful post confessing her innermost feelings and you have to pipe up and slam all over her…how’s the weather up there?
Secondhand Karl Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 12:08 am
@yellowpygmy, Fortunately for you, I never delete comments on my blog, even when they’re idiots. Not that I need to: Crystal is perfectly capable of dealing with people who are overcompensating for their own sad little lives.
And I feel sorry for your children, should you have any. If they can’t play on the fucking playground barefoot or with their socks on? Ugh. I ate dirt when I was a kid, I’m fine.
Well, relatively speaking.
ahh, Yellowpygmy, here you are again. My love, you keep me so busy with your ignorance. It’s LOSING. Not “loosing”.
You’re welcome.
I have to agree with yellowpygmy. I am happy to see a mother so in love with her child, but this is the Crazy Chronicles all over again.
“Oh, look, it’s Crystal making a bogglingly bad choice. Again.”
Seriously. How can someone so smart keep reaching for this kind of hand-to-mouth drama-of-the-moment lifestyle over and over and over again? Unless you have a book deal or some other kind of opportunity you’ve been hiding from readers as you worry publicly about the bills, this is just insane. Again.
Sure, it may be good for your soul in the short term to quit your job… but you know what would be even better for your soul? Learning to find happiness in even boring, tiring circumstances. I’m not advocating working that job forever – of course you should look toward your bliss and find a way to be a SAHM if that’s what you want – but you say (over and over) you have money worries, and now you quit your job (in this economy, as you note), so you can play in the park with your daughter? What, are you so insecure in your popularity with her that you think it’s better to risk her health and comfort than to be a possibly less fun parent?
I’m a big fan of your writing talent, but I think my days of admiring your big heart while shaking my head over your string of bad decisions are over. Want some money? Rebrand yourself as the trainwreck that you are – reality shows ARE popular for a reason.
Wendy Reply:
August 31st, 2009 at 10:50 pm
@Melanie, “Bogglingly?” What’s that?
Everyone worries about bills. I’m sure any adult would weigh the consequences before making such a choice. The happiness of a mother’s children is certainly more important than anything else.
Secondhand Karl Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 12:13 am
@Melanie, You’re a big fan of her writing and you didn’t recognize the symbolism? The telling of how she’s switching jobs?
I have to tell you…I’ve had a nervous breakdown because of a job before. There are many such soul-sucking jobs. And if your mental health declines significantly, you’re far better off quitting for the sake of sanity and family than you are staying there.
Mostly, though – and I mean this in the nicest possible way – you’re a bitch.
Katy Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:15 am
@Secondhand Karl,
So much for discourse, eh? Why is Melanie a bitch? Because she reads Crystal’s blog, where CRYSTAL makes every detail of her life available to the world and she developed an opinion about these decisions? Because she doesn’t fawn over Crystal’s every decision? Nice.
Just because you relentlessly kiss someone’s ass, doesn’t make you their friend.
Crystal, good luck on your new endeavors.
Secondhand Karl Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 10:13 am
@Katy, She’s a bitch because even though she deems Crystal a “trainwreck,” she continues to read and follow her around. Instead, she could have STOPPED reading Crystal’s blog the moment she started shaking her head about Crystal’s “bad decisions.”
Why read someone who you don’t respect? Why follow them around? The moment I get to that place, where I can’t respect someone’s decisions any more, I’m outta there. I certainly don’t go following people I don’t dig and leave comments calling them a trainwreck.
That’s why.
And I’m not kissing anyone’s ass. I’m supporting my friends. That what friends are supposed to do. I know Crystal. I’ve been with her…in person. Which is more than most of her readers can say. We talk on the phone. She’s a bud. And I’ll be damned if anyone is going to talk shit about her on MY BLOG and not hear anything from me about it.
Jennifer Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 10:32 am
@Secondhand Karl, See this is why I have a bloggy crush on you Karl..sigh.
Katy Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:05 pm
@Secondhand Karl,
“You” was a generalization, BTW. Many people started reading Crystal’s blog because she is very talented and compelling. As time has rolled on and drama has ensued, some readers read what she writes and wonder if she is okay mentally because of the bad life choices she continues to make, which is all subjective. I happen to think that quitting a job that makes you miserable is necessary, no matter how it affects your finances, but I digress.
Voicing opposing opinions from the majority on a public forum doesn’t make someone a bitch, a troll, mean or unhappy. It means they don’t agree.
Where I come from, it’s okay not to agree.
Also, to the people who chant “DON’T READ/ IGNORE IT”, as I say “BACK AT YA, BABE.”
Crystal, I told you I’d follow you anywhere.
I just want to say again, you’re my hero. My brother was laid off last week and after the panic passed, we’re both thinking this is going to be a very good thing. He was under horrible stress and I was starting to hide in my room to avoid having my head bit off for no reason. It’s only been a week and I already have my brother back.
Crystal, you’ll be yourself again in no time. Lots of prayers, happy thoughts, good vibes, and pixy dust heading your way from Texas.
Love ya!!!
P.S. Harmony is one seriously cute baby guwull.
Melanie,
thanks for the … whatever that is. I never said shit, however, about being a SAHM. I simply pointed out that this job was killing me and I’m moving to another.
You’re another one of those people who reads what I write and makes harsh, snap judgments about who I am. And you’re another one of those people I don’t care for for that very reason. You are not in my life, you have no idea what I have going on other than what I share.
the Chronicles was my teenaged and young twenties. I was a damned good single mom before I met Chris and you know what? I don’t need your opinions about who I am or what I should do.
Thanks, any way.
Crystal,
Your daughter is adorable.
Good luck to you.
Oh, and another thing. “I’m going to the park”? METAPHOR. Good grief, how can you be so dense?
Yes, I’m going to throw it all to the wind and spend my days frolicking in the park with my toddler.
Oy.
Your daughter is beautiful! Good luck finding that balance between working and being the mom you know that you’re meant to be. And when you figure out that balance, will you let me in on the secret?
Crystal,
Fuck the trolls in this thread. It takes a lot of cajones to go troll on someone’s guest post. Wow.
Make your choices. It’s your life, not theirs. Keep writing. I enjoy your story-telling.
(Sorry, Karl, if cursing is frowned on here. My tolerance for idiots is really low today.)
Patrick D.
Sheila (Charm School Reject) Reply:
August 31st, 2009 at 10:44 pm
@Patrick D., Oh Patrick you’re so funny. Silly man…cursing is only frowned upon on days that don’t end in “Y”.
Secondhand Karl Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 12:17 am
@Patrick D., It doesn’t take balls at all. In fact, it’s quite a cowardly thing to do that requires a near absence of cojones. You don’t have to show your face, you don’t have to leave a blog address, nothing. It’s the act of people with lives they hate.
And you can say any fucking thing you want to. This is MY house, dammit.
Keep on ‘em Crystal. Totally inappropriate comments, negative and uncalled for. Lovely post, and i got the metaphor!
Oh Crystal, awesome post.
Also, I have a freakishly easy way to deal with the trolls. I simply say:
Fuck. You.
Oh wait, that was rude? Was I mean? Do you have a right to your opinion?
Yeh, again I say Fuck You.
See, I came to the conclusion a couple weeks ago that I was tired of dealing with people shitting all over me and mine, and me not saying what I really felt because I was worried about being polite, or whatever. But I realized, if they decide not to abide by the rules of common decency, then the gloves are off.
So once more, with feeling: Fuck You.
Love you, Crystal
Keep on the good fight.
Secondhand Karl Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 12:17 am
@Trish/Astrogirl426, And I love you.
Good luck with everything!! Please take some bread to the ducks for me
Treasure every moment with your beautiful Harmony.
What the fuck does a girl gotta do around here to get you people to back the fuck off?! Seriously.
I don’t have a video camera so I can’t hide under my blanket with snot pouring down my face, screaming for you to leave Crystal alone (!!!!) so you’re going to have to help us out here.
I don’t understand how you can feel like it’s okay to constantly berate and belittle people for making different choices than what you deem to be acceptable.
I *wish* I had to guts to walk away from a job that kills me a little bit more every day to go to. To step out on a little bit of faith and know that somehow, someway, everything was going to be all right.
Because, if you haven’t noticed, Crystal may trip, she may stumble, hell, we all know she has fucked up and made poor choices when she was younger and I’m pretty sure we can all agree that she’s a little crazy. But who the fuck around this place isn’t?!?!
Seriously.
I know I’ve sure as shit made some poor ass choices. I’ve fucked up. I’ve let my marriage sit on the back burner until it was almost gone. I’ve done depression. I’ve done anxiety. I’ve done bat shit crazy.
And if you look around the internet, it’s crawling with broken people, constantly looking for a way to better themselves, better their lives and, ultimately, do what is best for their family.
So next time, before you bring your asses over to someone else’s page, trying to point fingers, lay blame and get all holier than thou, remember that it’s not your place to do so.
I find it funny that you seem to despise Crystal and I’ll be damned if she can’t even breathe without you bitches making a giant fuss over the fact that she didn’t do it the way you would,and yet, you are constantly following her around….everywhere she goes, there you are.
If you don’t like her, if you don’t like what she has to say, STAY THE FUCK AWAY.
We really need to get some kind of BlogPatrol that can issue restraining orders against these nasty, ignorant trolls who don’t know their place in the line up of people whose opinions actually fucking matter.
Also, for the record, I don’t know a single fucking person who hasn’t let their kid play barefoot in the play place.
Zoe Right Reply:
August 31st, 2009 at 11:37 pm
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Yee haw! Raise the roof and tell it like it is….it’s days like this I wish I was a Baptist for they can say Good Job way better than I can. So from a non-Baptist, Thank you!
Sheila (Charm School Reject) Reply:
August 31st, 2009 at 11:56 pm
@Zoe Right, I *knew* being a Baptist would come in handy one of these days!
Secondhand Karl Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 12:18 am
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Marry me.
Sheila (Charm School Reject) Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 12:14 pm
@Secondhand Karl, No way man. I don’t take sloppy seconds and you’re all in live with Astrogirl. Way to break my heart fucker.
Dawn Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 9:41 am
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Amen. Beautifully put. Exactly what I was thinking, only 1000 times more eloquent.
Crystal, I WISH I had the nerve to quit my soul-sucking job. You go girl. You deserve to be happy – whatever YOUR interpretation of happy is – the hell with the trolls.
Sheila (Charm School Reject) Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 12:15 pm
@Dawn, Hot damn someone thinks I’m eloquent!
CRYSTAL! OMG I freaking LOVE you. Seriously, as hard as it is to survive on one income, the reason for that is because we “need” all the *crap* we think we need. Do we really need two cars? Do we really need that credit card? Do we really need that huge vacation? Or are they things we pacify ourselves with because we are missing the way family is supposed to be? I won’t hijack your post, but I am going to write a post about this to share my thoughts on the topic.
And as far as the haters-no one knows your situation like YOU do. The arrogance in someone suggesting they know what works for your family and you don’t-ESPECIALLY when they are a reader, and not even a close friend or family member acutely aware of your daily situation-is staggering. They should go save all the starving children if they know everything and leave the rest of us to figure it out our damn selves. Fucking know-it-alls. The funny thing is, that superiority complex usually compensates for deep feelings of inadequacy. Kind of like the little dick assholes who drive flashy cars or big trucks to make up for it. *snort*
Crystal…you RAWK. I’ve read the Chronicles, I’ve been reading your blog for such a long time, and wow. The shit you’ve been through, and LIVED through, and SURVIVED. YOU are a strong woman, and one that can still find humor & love in life…I truly think the world of you, though I’ve never met you ‘IRL’.
MUCH MUCH luck with “going to the park”…I’ve got a job that’s sucking the life out of me each & every day, and although I’ve always thought I had ‘balls’? I don’t have them the size of yours. I only wish you the very best…and I hope the trolls here find the karma they truly deserve for being so judgemental without truly having one.clue.
You’re awesome. Fuck the trolls.
Oh for the love of God, people. Seriously?
Crystal, I don’t know you from Eve so I don’t know whether you’re making a good choice or a bad one. This is what I do know:
My dad worked a job he hated all of my life. He did it because he took his responsibilities seriously and he considered it his responsibility to “provide” for my mom and me. Never mind that my mom also worked, never mind that the stress of his job affected his health…he was going to provide, daggnabbit.
And he did. Until he died of a heart attack at work at 55 years old. Did the job kill him? Maybe that wasn’t the only reason for his death but it sure as hell contributed and it made what time he did have a misery. And it certainly made my mom and I miserable to watch him be that unhappy for years.
I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you that, with the benefit of hindsight in MY life, I would have rather done with less as a kid if it meant still having my dad here.
You do what you need to do. Appreciate your opportunities to spend time with the ones you love and who love you. Screw the haters.
Well said Crystal. For all those critiquing her decision – SHE DIDN’T ASK YOU FOR YOUR OPINION!
Katy Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:18 am
@stangmom,
She may not ask for it, but when you put your trash out on the corner, people will pick at it.
L E X A P R O.
Do you speak it?
Sheila (Charm School Reject) Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:51 pm
@Katy, You know what? Fuck you.
It’s not “just a blog”….it’s my friend. And you know what else? If it were really “just” a blog, then why do you keep coming back and spit back some more comments. Because believe me when I say that *I* always come back to defend myself and my friends.
And I need to get help? Really? You fucking think so?
Well, I think you need to shut the fuck up.
Have a great day.
Katy Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 2:50 pm
@Sheila (Charm School Reject),
I think you need to step away from the keyboard, lady. You seem to have some serious issues.
How in the hell do you say no to that beautiful face? I admire you more than you know for putting your foot down and saying no more!
I’ve been where you are…saying “That’s not right. and How can they do that?” They pushed me out the door. Congrats on walking out on your own two feet!
Also? The face of an ANGEL on that girl! And I kind of consider myself an expert on angels, ya know.
Fuck the haters. Fuck ‘em.
Wait. Actually, don’t fuck ‘em. Who knows what the hell they’re carrying.
Great post, Crystal.
Chris Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 7:55 am
@james, I bet they were playing barefoot in the balls and picked up all kinds of nasty stuff.
You know, Crystal, these asshats who clearly believe they are all knowing and therefore entitled to judge you are CUH-razy and frankly it is their children I feel concern for. You, my dear, follow you heart, go to the park, grease up and let these bithes’ bullshit slide right off your back like buttah. *smooch*
@kristeneileen
PS – ANONYMITY IS COWARDICE when you are criticizing a stranger. Be a coward, whatever, but know that, and live with it.
Good for you!!
Our kids are only little once!!
Good luck findind a job that will allow you to find the right balance for you and your family!!
And go out with your husband.
I can give you a list of ideas for FREE dates!!
Well, I was preparing to write a huge long rant defending Crystal…then, I read Sheila’s comment.
Ummm….Ditto what Sheila said.
That about covers it.
Wonderful! We should all be so brave!
Enjoy your day at the park making your life!
my husband was working as an adjuster for a big-name insurance company. this was in the 80s. he was making more money in that job than any previous job. we had a new house and a new baby and i was losing the man i had married.
no, he wasn’t playing around on me or packing up to leave. he was getting bitter. he was starting to become less and less the beautiful, generous and patient man i had married. he hated his job and it was hurting him.
he went on a trip with his brother and sister for about a week and when he came back we were driving somewhere and he suddenly said “i want to go put my resignation on my boss’s desk”. i said to go for it. without hesitation.
at the time i did not have a very well-paying job and we ended up falling behind on our house payments then eventually lost the house. and you know what? i would do it all over again. we survived. we even bought our next house after renting for a few years. this is all in the past and, we survived. i also got my husband back. that was worth everything to me.
our daughter NEVER went without the necessities. we may not have had money for luxuries but so what? we had a roof over our heads, food to eat and, most importantly, my husband, her father back.
so crystal? do what you need to do. the economy sucked in the 80’s, too. as long as you have your priorities straight you’ll survive.
Mean people suck. You know who leaves negative comments about a well-written, beautiful post? People who are mean. And I could go on but I don’t want to be like them.
That’s all.
We’ve been living on one income for quite a few years now. It’s tight and sometimes it’s too tight. But we scrape by. I don’t think I’ll lie on my deathbed thinking that I wish I would have made more money. But I know I’d have regrets if I laid there thinking that I should have spent more time with my kids. My youngest is 13. Thirteen. My baby. No regrets here! Soon, I’ll be looking for a part-time job because, well, my baby is now 13.
My condolences to your loving husband, Chris. Now that supporting his wife and the entire lot of children falls on his shoulders, what will his next step be????
I can only hope, as I have followed you for some time, that you’ve saved up some of your Crazy Pills ‘cuz sister, if you think leaving Corporate Life to be a SAHM is a picnic, you’re C.R.A.Z.Y. I’m not saying it can’t be done — what I’m saying is that even the best circumstances requires a plan, and your writing doesn’t indicate any forethought before acting. You had a decent job. Others would kill to be in that position right now. Please, before it’s too late, give your actions some real, deep thought, before it’s too late.
Sheila (Charm School Reject) Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 12:18 pm
I’m really really really really restraining myself right now. But seriously. What the fuck?!?! How dare you?!
Jennifer Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 1:44 pm
@Liz, Once again (I’ll speak slowly so you can keep up) Crystal did not say she was planning on being a SAHM. Here is what confuses me. You say you have followed Crystal for a long time; why on earth would you want to follow someone that you clearly have no repect for? Does it soothe your cold corporate soul to berate another? Yes you can disagree but you open your diatribe with a insult, with a obnoxious inference that Crystal may make other desperate(in your opinion) choices. You claim Crystal had a decent job,she was miserable, that is not decent in anyones book. Shelia may have the restraint to not respond to your nasty post but I don’t.
Suck it.
Jennifer
Sheila (Charm School Reject) Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 1:58 pm
@Jennifer, ::whew:: THANK YOU!
Jennifer Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 2:17 pm
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Shelia,you are more than welcome. I’m off to read your blog for the very first time!
Sheila (Charm School Reject) Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 2:29 pm
@Jennifer, Oh shit. I should warn you then. The first post you’ll see isn’t for those who are against the TMI Factor.
Jennifer Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 2:35 pm
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Woman please I just told someone to suck it I’m neither shy or retiring!
Jennifer Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 2:55 pm
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Ok I read and I seriously love your filthy mouth.
Sheila (Charm School Reject) Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 3:26 pm
@Jennifer, Hahaha! Thanks
Do you have a blog?
Liz Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 4:19 pm
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), For Shelia & Jennifer:
Specifically, what does this say – to quote Crystal directly” I’m quitting my job tomorrow and looking for a life that doesn’t begin and end with a time clock. I’m going to the park.”
Sounds like she’s quitting her job, doesn’t it?
Specifically, if you look, my first statement was directed towards Crystal’s husband. I didn’t sling anything at him.
And for the record, I’m far, far away from having a Corporate Soul. I left that world to be fully self employed. And I did it with forthought and research and after great discussion with my husband.
We all know the trials Crystal has displayed openly. She took a number of hits from blogers who disagreed (shock!) but I didn’t throw in then. Most of her “mistakes” were in her “past.” But you know, there comes a time when it feels like all you’re doing is betting on a losing horse. I took her statement about quitting her job to mean she was quitting her job – end of story. I keep my fingers crossed that one of these days something changes for her, because I’ve got a slight optimists streak.
Oh, and SUCK IT right back at you! Tee-hee!
Sheila (Charm School Reject) Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 5:43 pm
@Liz, Yeah you didn’t sling anything at him but anyone can (and did) read the snide way in which you made that statement. Regardless of how sudden you think this decision was, I can guarantee that Chris is behind Crystal 100%. Hers and the kids’ health and happiness are worth more than anything in the world to him. And if that means he has to take the brunt of the load for a while, well, that’s how marriage works. It’s not a fifty/fifty split. Someone is always giving more.
But you know what? Even if she did this without talking to Chris…even if Chris were some supreme douchebag who wanted her to stay at this job that was killing her….it still wouldn’t matter because it is still not your place to criticize or judge her. Because there was not a single damned thing that was constructive about your comment.
We all are who we are and you can take it or leave it. I don’t buy Star magazine because it’s nothing but trash and I don’t give a shit what country Angelina and Brad are adopting from this week and I don’t want to see Britney Spears’ vagina. If you don’t want to read about what is going on in Crystal’s life, don’t read it.
It’s such a simple concept and I have no clue why none of you have figured it out.
Well, I do, but still.
You can sugar coat bitchy statements all you want with your crossed fingers about her future – you still suck.
And I say this all as nicely as I possibly can because, shockingly, this time around, I’m making a concerted effort to not be a bitch back to you bitches.
Katy Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:21 am
@Sheila (Charm School Reject),
Jaysus Shelia. Calm down, it’s a fucking blog.
Get help.
Soon.
Sofia Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 6:33 pm
I think one of the reasons people assume that Crystal has quit her job and doesn’t have another one lined up is that on her blog, in the post leading to this one, she says “I am unemployed and scared shitless”. That right there can lead a reader to think “Oh hey, she doesn’t have a job, and she’s worried about that”.
Secondhand Karl Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 7:25 pm
@Liz, Bah, people that don’t have the guts to leave a web address can suck it. And like Sheila has said, why do you read Crystal’s stuff if you don’t like it/her/her choices?
Shut the fuck up.
Sofia Reply:
September 1st, 2009 at 8:29 pm
@Secondhand Karl,
I hope that my comment didn’t come across as assholish. I thoroughly enjoy Crystal’s writing. I was just trying to clarify why some people might get the impression that Crystal was going to be unemployed. As for leaving a web address… well, I don’t have one.
Secondhand Karl Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 10:05 am
@Sofia, Your comment didn’t come across as nasty to me. Not trollish at all. I know it’s not difficult to interpret Crystal’s post like you did. It’s the trolls that follow her around wherever she goes and leave shitty comments that I’m referring to.
Sybil Law Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:13 pm
@Liz, Liz, you jealous twat – STFU.
OK, I’m not a hater, OK? But I didn’t pick up that “going to the park” was a metaphor.
This is the first time I had read this blogger; I didn’t know her circumstances; and she and her daughter had just gone to the real, literal, actual park.
Under those circumstances, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to take what a writer says literally.
On the other hand, I wouldn’t jump in and start telling some random blogger how to be fiscally prudent. After all, I’m a stay-at-home-mooch myself.
It is very brave to do what you did. People can say “stupid” all they want, but I say it is brave because your intentions and your beliefs have been put in front of THINGS!
Such a beautiful person inside and out!
Praying for you all….Praying that God will ease your worries and cast out the doubt, for you are listening to Him and His will now, and in doing that, your true purpose will be revealed. Love you!!!
1) Good for you, Crystal. Do what you need to do. You don’t need our approval.
2) Holy shit and St. Peter’s puppies. Am totally flabbergasted at the ignorance and unmitigated gall of obviously miserable people to be so incredibly condescending and judgmental about a life that isn’t theirs to live. Mirror, people, mirror.
Crystal – I just choked on my breakfast Pepsi. YOU WHAT NOW?
You brave brave woman. Also? You are cute. And also? Those boobs should totally go on http://www.boobemancipation.com – what? All the cool kids are doing it. Ask Karl.
Anyway….you keep us updated because I seriously will be awake at night waiting to hear.
Hi Crystal,
I’m a lurker at your regular website, and I don’t comment often. However, this time, I feel compelled to share my experience with you. I spent 10 years of my life at a high-paying, soul-sucking job, just for the money. I hated every minute of it, and hated myself for not having the courage to leave. In 2006, when I got my annual bonus (20K) I looked at my husband and said “I guess the price for my soul is twenty thousand dollars.”
He laid down an ultimatum – him or the job. He could not stand to see me feel so lousy all the time, to have no energy left for him, my friends, my dogs, my life.
I quit my job the next month, and it was terrifying to go from being well-off to making a third of what I use to make. But you know what? I’m HAPPY! I don’t dream about my job. I don’t get headaches on the way to work, or fantasize about getting into an accident just to avoid work.
We have made changes in our lifestyle, and sometimes it’s hard. We don’t take vacations anymore; we go camping instead. We go out to eat at the IHOP. We shop at Ross. We drive old cars.
I hope this has been encouraging to you, and let you know that there is a better way to live. I admire your courage, and I am rooting for you Crystal!
-Sylvia
Crystal, you’re making the right choice imo. My parents divorced before I started remembering stuff, and my mom got custody. I go to my dad’s every other weekend. My mom is a SAHM; she quit her job when I was one or two years old. She has never taken me to the park, except for on two occasions: my cousins’ birthdays a few years ago. When I was younger my dad would take me and my brother any time we would ask, even though my mom actually lives closer to two different parks than my dad does to the one he always took us to. I gotta say, I’ve had a lot more fun at my dad’s than I ever did at home.
Crystal,
Way to walk the healing path, I am glad you are listening to you heart. This decision can only benefit you and your family.
As for you pathetic little slitches out there that keep stalking Crystal’s blogs just to get her riled up, why don’t you make like the herpes you are and dry up? You are beyond fucking pathetic.
I am a long-time reader of Crystal’s blog, stalked her this way. Just wanted to say to Crystal…
I applaud your courage. It takes a wealth of it to make that leap. I believe that you’ll thank yourself for it a million times over during the next few years. Moving on to something that doesn’t suck the life out of you is as much a gift to your children as to yourself.
My parents spit when I was a toddler and my Daddy and I got to spend very little time together… Not b/c of the split, but rather his job. He was self-employed.. but he was always going, going, going. He told me one day… when I was 16 or so.. that he had missed so much.. that he’d looked away for a few years and turned back to find that I had grown up on him… the next year he was gone.
The point is.. none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Go after what’s best for you and your family today. And do it secure in the knowledge that YOU made the right decision for YOU. What anyone else has to say, myself included, is irrelevant.
Sofia,
not at all. I never mind opinions, arguments, differing opinions or someone who tries to clarify the thoughts of the minority. You did so respectfully and coherently and I applaud and, more importantly, take note of that. I listen. It’s the ones who are unnecessarily disrespectful who draw my ire. I will defend you all the way.
thank you for being intelligent and thoughtful enough to say what you had to say in the manner you did, and for having the balls to go against the grain. (oh, and Sheila,too…you are very eloquent)
Crystal,
Thank you for leading me to Karl’s blog I love it and him!
Karl,
Thank you for giving Crystal a guest post you see what the majority does…Crystal is a beautiful writer,loving mother and dedicated friend.To those that have something nasty to say, it must be painful to be so perfect all the time. What a burden.
Secondhand Karl Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 10:08 am
@Jennifer, Why, thank you. And I have to admit, I didn’t give Crystal a guest post for selfless reasons. I hung out with her in Chicago and loved her nearly immediately. Been reading her for a while.
So I just wanted her talented ass on my blog.
Way to go! I made the same decision and have no regrets at all. Life is about making peace with who you are, what you aren’t willing to sacrifice and everything in between.
Enjoy every minute, because soon she’ll be taller than you, wanting your car.
I’m not sure I get the ‘metaphor’ and I have a minor in English. Does she still have a job? Is she looking for another one? Is she staying home?
Before you all jump down my throat please know 2 things, I have been a long time defender of Crystal and I left the corporate soul sucking world to be a dog trainer (which worked out wonderfully)
I’m just confused here.
People have a right to comment when you put yourself out there. I’m not saying there aren’t a lot of assholes on the internet but it is to be expected.
Secondhand Karl Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:03 am
@Mare, I’ll never jump down someone’s throat for stating their opinion respectfully. “Respectfully” being the key word there. You’ll have to ask Crystal these things. I’m just thankful she saw fit to guest blog here.
Mare Reply:
September 2nd, 2009 at 11:37 am
@Secondhand Karl,
Yes, there is a serious lack of respect out there which really blows. And makes me concerned for the future of our country in fact. We cannot solve problems without intelligent and thoughtful discourse. Thanks for answering.