Moratoriums
Some of you know that I sometimes fight the urge to simply vanish from the Earth. I find it’s one of those things that cycles with my depression. When too much shit comes flying my way, I deal but it gets overwhelming and sucks the fucking life out of me. Then, the next time a deafening quiet comes across my plate, I just want to curl up in an armadillo ball, totally unplug the laptop and TV, and just freaking pop out of existence for, oh, maybe a year or two.
This is not very practical for most people. For anyone, really.
I’d be totally screwed if it weren’t for the fact that I work from home. The last few weeks have gone by in a ghost of a blur and I haven’t done shit for work. Now that I’m getting my head back into the game, ready or not, I find that my brain is still sluggish, choking on frozen molasses.
But that’s the thing, isn’t it? No matter how down you get, there is no magic PAUSE button so you can temporarily cease the Earth’s rotations while you catch up with life. No, life pushes incessantly forward, with you or without you. Sucks.
The last few months, I’ve dealt with my share of assholes. At times, I even got sucked into drama I didn’t want to get sucked into…then regained my brain and said fuck it. Life is too short for trivial bullshit and trivial people. No more. Investing my energy into relationships that go nowhere is something I’m not willing to do any more. Like dealing with the bullies in grade school, the best course of action is sometimes just to ignore them.
Or hire a sniper to take the fuckers out.
I fuck with myself enough. I don’t need anyone’s help with it. I guarantee you that I can slam myself worse than anyone else can. So while it may be discouraging, dealing with some of these meanies off-line and on-line, the good part is that I’m trying to focus on the POSITIVE relationships.
Change comes. People fall by the wayside in one capacity or another. It’s sad, but life happens. It is what it is, as she said everyday.
I just found out yesterday that my sister-in-law has a mass in her brain. She’s still having all sorts of tests done, so there’s not a lot of information yet. All I know is that my brother and her have dealt with enough shit over the past couple of years.
If you’re of the praying sort, I’d appreciate some prayers and good vibes for my sister-in-law.
And I’m officially declaring a Cancer Moratorium. Nobody else is allowed to get sick. Clone stem cells, wave burning cloves over voodoo Barbie dolls, do whatever the fuck you have to do…but I’m tired of the monster called Cancer.
When do we get to the Star Trek: Next Generation moments, when hunger and sickness are things taught only in history books? Screw the flying cars, that’s what I’m waiting for.
Oh, and the holodeck. I’d wear those emitters out, I tell you.
Filed under Depression, Local Goings On, Relationships | Comments (59)59 Responses to “Moratoriums”
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I’m right there with you, on both the wish that we were in that era already AND the holodeck. You bet your ass I’d be all OVER that.
And I’m sending all the good vibes I’ve got right to your SIL. I hope nothing but the best for you all.
Melanie’s last blog post..So Here’s The Thing.
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March 18th, 2009 at 3:29 pm
@Melanie, Hey there! We’ll party on the holodeck together. And thanks.
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Right there with you, on all counts. And how did you about my thing with the cloves and the barbie dolls?
Catherine’s last blog post..filling in for marty
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
@Catherine, Stalking works wonders.
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Ugh, sorry to hear about your SIL, Hon. I am not the praying kind but I will keep her in my thoughts for sure. * HUG *
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
@DutchBitch, Thanks, babe.
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Praying. lighting candles, writing “fuck cancer” in red hots on the kitchen counter.
Hope you find your way out of the dark soon.
Finn’s last blog post..Finn, By The Numbers
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
@Finn, Thanks. I’m not afraid of the dark or anything, but shit, it’s hard to see!
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Yep, there’s something in the air, amigo. I don’t know what it is, either, but I’m tired of it, too.
Fuck cancer, fuck cancer, FUCK CANCER.
james’s last blog post..St. Paddy’s Day.
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
@james, Right on.
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Sending good mojo vibes your SIL’s way, and I second the moritorium on cancer! My sister’s doc discovered a “mass with complex cellular structure” on one of her ovaries, and we won’t know for a couple of weeks what’s going on.
FUCK CANCER.
Laura’s last blog post..Blank
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
@Laura, My prayers are with your sis. Geez, it’s like a fucking epidemic.
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Yep, I’m all for that – except it needs to involve more than just cancer. Everyone needs to just stay healthy from here on out, dammit!
Kyra’s last blog post..Social Technology Hermit
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
@Kyra, Agreed. Make that happen, will you, please?
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Sending good, positive, healing thoughts to your sister-in-law, as well as to your brother… and to you. You’ve dealt with a lot of shit recently. You’re due for some good. A lot of good, actually.
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
@Dawn, I’m not going to pretend I’m the only one dealing with crap, but I do happen to be the only person I know in my head.
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Oh no, I hope the tests come back good for your SIL. Whatever kind of good you get from tests like those.
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
@Sarah, Thanks, Sarah.
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So sorry to hear about your SIL! That sucks. I’ll pray for her for sure.
I am with you on the meanies – fucking assholes just don’t know what to do with themselves if they aren’t fucking with someone. Actually, I’d rather be the sniper. Gladly.
Sybil Law’s last blog post..You betta (you better you better you bet)!
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:53 pm
@Sybil Law, Without the meanies, how would we ever know who the good people are?
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Cancer sucks!! It robbed me of my husband. It took the life of a 29 year old. Fuck Cancer.
Susan’s last blog post..Do Blondes Have More Fun?
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
@Susan, Good God, that’s awful. Sorry, Susan. Cancer definitely blows.
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Sending well wishes to your sis-in-law.
Also, having lost a loved one to cancer last year I completely support your moratorium.
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:54 pm
@Musing, Thanks. Thoughts and prayers right back atcha.
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I totally agree Karl. Where are the Star Trek gizmos and gadgets promised to us by Hollywood? We should be able to take care of all this shit by now. I’m totally for a moratorium. Enough already.
TMWW’s last blog post..TO MY BLOGGING FRIENDS
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
@TMWW, Hey, thanks for dropping by. I can’t wait for more gizmos from Star Trek.
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I am of the praying kind and I will be praying for your SIL
((hugs)) I hope it all turns out ok.
Janelle’s last blog post..Maybe all I need is a glass of nice warm milk?
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
@Janelle, thanks, hon.
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I’m sorry to hear about your SIL. I hope the tests come back negative.
Also, if you need someone to kick the asses of the people who are fucking with you, you’ve got my number.
SciFi Dad’s last blog post..But Why?
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:56 pm
@SciFi Dad, Heh, I’ve decided that the asses aren’t even worth kicking. Sometimes it’s a good thing to go expand your corner of the blogiverse to include more nice people. I’ll keep you on speed dial, though, just in case.
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With you on all accounts – disappearing for a year or two under a rock, Fuck Cancer, bring on the STNG happy world with no hunger, money, or deadly disease. And, hot bald headed men with sexy accents to run the ship! (oh, wait – you may not want that…)
Sending prayers out in the U for your SIL – don’t know who/where she is, but clear, healthy thoughts headed that way.
Same good thoughts are there for you, too…
Peace.
Kathleen’s last blog post..Let them eat steak
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
@Kathleen, You had me up until the hot bald headed men part. I prefer hot bald headed women. And thanks.
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Sure would be nice to wave a magic wand and make all the pestilence, strife, hunger and all that go away…
In the meantime, I’ll keep your SiL in my thoughts, and send a few your way as well.
Hugs.
Nat’s last blog post..iWalk
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:57 pm
@Nat, thanks, Nat. I need to get my magic wand repaired.
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Oh Karl-your sister-in-law is in my prayers and so are you. I agree with you about the moritorium. Enough is enough. I know just how you feel.
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
@Black Belt Mama, thanks. I think many of us know exactly the same ugh factor. We’re on for tonight, right?
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I’m all for climbing out of the dark places.
I will say a prayer for your sister-in-law.
Little Miss Sunshine State’s last blog post..On Your 21st Birthday 3/18/09
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March 19th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
@Little Miss Sunshine State, Thanks.
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cancer effing sucks.
a few years back i had three friends drop dead from it in a span of nine months. i did not deal with crap at all. a couple of weeks before my last friend died, my mother had a breast cancer scare and i literally did not leave my house for weeks after hearing about it. i dropped out of school without telling the school, failed all the classes that semester, was kicked out of university and lost a lot of friends. it sucked.
life gets better though, trust trust trust that it does. it really, truly does. and there will be times that you damn well know that your friend is right there with you; i’ve gotten pranked by one of my friends from the other side in classic style by him. he’s there. your friend? she’s there; life gets better and you’ll be ok. it’s ok to feel like shit, but you don’t need that validation from me.
i’ll send your sister in law positive thoughts.
AlieMalie’s last blog post..Terrified
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March 19th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
@AlieMalie, HOly crap, you’ve been through the wringer. Sorry to hear about your friends. I know life gets better. It’s what keeps me pressing onward, even when I’m mired in mounds of crap. Thanks for the positive thoughts.
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With you completely. I feel like a dark cloud has been following me for months. I am praying for your sister-in-law. Take care of yourself.
Selma’s last blog post..Rows and Floes Of Angel Hair
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March 19th, 2009 at 3:03 pm
@Selma, You too.
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I’m with you. I was with you three years ago, when I thought the same thing. One of my mom’s sister’s has a rare blood cancer. Last year, two of them were diagnosed with an aggressive breast cancer. My 25 year old sister died of lung cancer. I’m ready for a cure.
I don’t know if this is any consolation to you, but when my sister’s lung cancer spread to her brain, she had the tumor removed. They said brain tumors were easier to remove than other cancers. I hope that’s true in your sister-in-law’s case.
I’ll send some good thought and well wishes towards you and your family, since I’m not the praying sort. My dad use to say, “Please send your prayers, and if you don’t pray, send happy thoughts!”
Lynda’s last blog post..I’m Taking a Trip
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March 19th, 2009 at 3:04 pm
@Lynda, Ugh, sorry to hear about your sister and family. Appreciate your good wishes. Prayers, happy thoughts? Kinda the same thing if you ask me.
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I’m all for crawling in a hole and staying there. I’ve been fighting that battle myself…
I will be keeping your SIL, and YOU in my thoughts and odd prayers and voodoo rituals that I do on my homemade holodeck that looks just like a couch.
Bubblewench’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
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March 19th, 2009 at 3:05 pm
@Bubblewench, Heh, mine looks like a recliner. Thanks.
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I’m of the praying kind so I will be praying for all of you – especially your SIL.
xoxo
Sheila (Charm School Reject)’s last blog post..Pssssstttt…..
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March 19th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Thanks, Sheila.
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I am sure all for a damn moritorium on cancer and everything that comes with it. I have enough of the effing crap that’s for sure.
My magic wand is on the blink …if it worked believe me if would wave in your direction.
Your Sil and Brother are both in my thoughts and prayers Karl. You to!
Sifting though a mess of testing myself and I am really sick of cancer..my own situation and how its affecting those I give a damn about.
Take care of yourself.
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March 22nd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
@Kerry, Agreed. Cancer needs to end. Thoughts going your way.
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[...] Moratoriums | SecondHand TryptophanWhen do we get to the Star Trek: Next Generation moments, when hunger and sickness are things taught only in history books? Screw the flying cars, that’s what I’m waiting for. Oh, and the holodeck. I’d wear those emitters out, … [...]
Much agreed about the moratoriums. Especially with cancer. It’s taken too many good friends and family away from us.
martymankins’s last blog post..Super Snowy Sunny Scooter Snackie Sunday!
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March 22nd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
@martymankins, Definitely. Really getting old.
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praying now.
Stephanie’s last blog post..And now here’s 5 more things you really don’t care about…
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March 22nd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
@Stephanie, Thanks.
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Positive vibes and prayers, coming right up…
LVGurl’s last blog post..Later days
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March 22nd, 2009 at 12:26 pm
@LVGurl, Thanks. Appreciate it.
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Karl,
I can’t understand why cancer is listed as the #2 desease and #1 is still heart desease. After what we have been though over the past couple of monthes we need a break and a cure. I hope the best for your SIL.
Bill
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March 22nd, 2009 at 12:27 pm
@Bill, Thanks, Bill. Yeah, hard to believe here, too. I know heart disease is a biggie, but I’m hearing far more about cancer in the last couple of years than I am about heart problems.
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