Mar

Moratoriums

by Secondhand Karl in Depression, Local Goings On, Relationships.

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Some of you know that I sometimes fight the urge to simply vanish from the Earth. I find it’s one of those things that cycles with my depression. When too much shit comes flying my way, I deal but it gets overwhelming and sucks the fucking life out of me. Then, the next time a deafening quiet comes across my plate, I just want to curl up in an armadillo ball, totally unplug the laptop and TV, and just freaking pop out of existence for, oh, maybe a year or two.

This is not very practical for most people. For anyone, really.

I’d be totally screwed if it weren’t for the fact that I work from home. The last few weeks have gone by in a ghost of a blur and I haven’t done shit for work. Now that I’m getting my head back into the game, ready or not, I find that my brain is still sluggish, choking on frozen molasses.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? No matter how down you get, there is no magic PAUSE button so you can temporarily cease the Earth’s rotations while you catch up with life. No, life pushes incessantly forward, with you or without you. Sucks.

The last few months, I’ve dealt with my share of assholes. At times, I even got sucked into drama I didn’t want to get sucked into…then regained my brain and said fuck it. Life is too short for trivial bullshit and trivial people. No more. Investing my energy into relationships that go nowhere is something I’m not willing to do any more. Like dealing with the bullies in grade school, the best course of action is sometimes just to ignore them.

Or hire a sniper to take the fuckers out.

I fuck with myself enough. I don’t need anyone’s help with it. I guarantee you that I can slam myself worse than anyone else can. So while it may be discouraging, dealing with some of these meanies off-line and on-line, the good part is that I’m trying to focus on the POSITIVE relationships.

Change comes. People fall by the wayside in one capacity or another. It’s sad, but life happens. It is what it is, as she said everyday.

I just found out yesterday that my sister-in-law has a mass in her brain. She’s still having all sorts of tests done, so there’s not a lot of information yet. All I know is that my brother and her have dealt with enough shit over the past couple of years.

If you’re of the praying sort, I’d appreciate some prayers and good vibes for my sister-in-law.

And I’m officially declaring a Cancer Moratorium. Nobody else is allowed to get sick. Clone stem cells, wave burning cloves over voodoo Barbie dolls, do whatever the fuck you have to do…but I’m tired of the monster called Cancer.

When do we get to the Star Trek: Next Generation moments, when hunger and sickness are things taught only in history books? Screw the flying cars, that’s what I’m waiting for.

Oh, and the holodeck. I’d wear those emitters out, I tell you.

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Tagged with Tags: asshats, asshole, assholes, bullshit, cancer, Clusterfook, Depression, drama, laptop, mean people, molasses, moratorium, pause button, Relationships, sniper

Moratoriums

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