Macabre Numbers
It’s come to my attention that my talking about my site’s statistics the last few weeks has been in poor taste. Tacky. Why? Because the bulk of it – the traffic to my site – results from Lisa and the whole Power of Blog thing.
Well, I’m sorry if that offended your sensibilities, but they certainly wouldn’t offend Lisa’s. Every time Lisa and I have talked recently, and several times while I was with Lisa in PA, she brought up statistics, how positively absurd her stats are, how positively absurd that every post she writes gets triple-digit comments, and how weird it is that most of the people showing up on my blog lately are coming directly from Lisa’s.
She laughed about the whole thing, how the “cancer girl” attracts tons of people from all over the place. It’s macabre, sure, but it’s what we talked about.That’s typical of terminal patients. You’ve got to laugh, and have a sick sense of humor, to get through shit like Lisa is going through.
So, while I’m out of my head with all things Clusterfook, I’d appreciate not only a little leeway, but also the understanding that you don’t know Lisa’s and my relationship, so please don’t make assumptions.
And those of you that think I’m getting off on a little traffic bump can fuck off. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
Filed under Bloggity Blog, Rants | Comments (67)67 Responses to “Macabre Numbers”
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Everyone deals in their own way…. like you said, those who think differently can fuck off. I, for one, am greatful you are keeping us all up to date. I wouldn’t be able to handle it.
Blondefabulous’s last blog post..And The Hits Just Keep Coming….
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February 25th, 2009 at 1:09 am
@Blondefabulous, thanks. Probably should have kept that to myself, but I don’t do private posts.
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Sheesh. Seriously, it never ceases to amaze me how ignorant people can be.
Don’t let it ruffle your feathers. What you are doing for Lisa is really touching and difficult I’m sure.
And don’t let some fucktard come along and be, well a fucktard.
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February 25th, 2009 at 1:10 am
@Marti, Yeah, I need to chill, methinks.
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Thank you for doing this for Lisa and her family. I wanted you to see the blog post I wrote explaining how much Lisa helped me. I don’t know if my comment on her blog will need to be approved or not because I put in my URL.
God Bless You.
Betty’s last blog post..Dear Lisa
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February 25th, 2009 at 12:45 pm
@Betty, Thanks, I’ll check it out. I turned off comment moderation on her blog.
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I came here via my feed reader, so I’m all yours, Karl.
People are attracted to blogs for the strangest reasons, I’m learning. Terminal cancer, lip gloss giveaways, you name it. Somebody, somewhere, wants something…be it human tragedy or a hot new look.
Which is why I don’t blog anymore.
Meanwhile, I pray for Lisa’s peace, and strength for her family.
LVGurl’s last blog post..Later days
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February 25th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
@LVGurl, True…that’s really where I was coming from, finding it bizarre what drives traffic sometimes. Then I found it bizarre that such a notion even popped into my brain to begin with.
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I don’t know Lisa like you do, by *any* means, but what I do know of her would indicate to me that she would be happy to be sending her traffic to such a dear friend. And she’s the only one whose opinion on the subject matters.
CheekySweetie’s last blog post..Ding-Ding-Ding! We have a winner!
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February 25th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
@CheekySweetie, The whole point is that who gives a flying fuck about the traffic? That’s one of those things you pay attention to when you first start blogging, then you pretty much ignore it 99% of the time thereafter.
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I’ll be fucking off now.
Anyone have any toothpaste?
Jester’s last blog post..1,072,935,484
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February 25th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
@Jester, Crest or Colgate?
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I will never understand people.
As they say, those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.
DaDuck’s last blog post..Whale of a time
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February 25th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
@DaDuck, Brilliant.
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People who are saying things like that are some small-minded motherfuckers.
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February 25th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
@Iron Fist, Agreed. I’ll be the first one to admit that weird shit goes through my head in times like this. I find it fascinating where our brains take us when we’re in sore need of distraction.
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Wow. Just wow. Sometimes I wonder what the fuck is with people…..
Robin’s last blog post..20 Albums That Changed My Life….
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February 25th, 2009 at 12:49 pm
@Robin, I dunno. I’m only one of the people myself.
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I think people who think you are “getting off on it” really don’t know the situation with you and Lisa.
None of us do and that’s okay because your relationship/friendship with her is none of our business. That’s yours to keep and to hold and to cherish.
If people think you are being an ass or being “weird” about it, of course you are. Your friend is dying and YOU have to keep us all up to date. Your friend is dying and YOU are the one having to delve into the details to relate back to a bunch of strangers and friends online.
Keep your chin up, Karl. Don’t let what others think or say get under your skin. As long as you do the next right thing and keep your side of the street clean, no one can touch you.
*hugs*
Sodapop’s last blog post..It’s hump day!
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February 25th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
@Sodapop, Thanks. I’m sure I had something to do with it…yesterday was a fucked up day for me. Sometimes I ought to just keep my mouth/Tweets shut.
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Ahem.
Not to be a bitch here…
But I’m almost certain that the people who have mentioned this to you aren’t some random trolls, like the impression this post suggests.
I’m pretty sure that they are people who know you pretty well and who know Lisa pretty damn well.
I say that because it’s easy to let a few comments of “what the hell? people are stupid!” bolster our own sense of self righteousness and pretend like any criticism is coming from some mindless idiot standing on the outside.
That said – it’s not about you, right now.
It’s about Lisa.
And that’s really what matters.
Miss Britt’s last blog post..With Bated Breath
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February 25th, 2009 at 12:56 pm
@Miss Britt, the people who know me personally aren’t the ones that bother me, actually. The ones that bug me ARE the random trolls. Only one person I know has brought it up to me. If anyone else has something to say to me, I hope they know they can bring it to me face-to-face, so to speak.
I know everyone deals with this stuff in their own way. One of my ways is apparently to blurt out nonsequitirs that are sometimes inappropriate.
And yeah, it’s about Lisa.
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Now I’ve got the visual of you sitting alone in a dark room masturbating to sitemeter. Thanks Karl. I can always depend on you to out-Avitable Avitable.
(This was supposed to make you laugh, btw.)
SciFi Dad’s last blog post..An Open Letter
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February 25th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
@SciFi Dad, Heh, it did, thanks.
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I came to Lisa’s blog really late. I realized she was in hospice at that point. I read the whole blog one night. Some how what happens in reading other stories of others surviving and living life to their fullest. Gives us hope. Even now reading things Lisa is a strong person one who got up and told her story to help others.
Karl having been a long time cancer patient and survivor. I admire what your doing by just being a good friend. Some can’t see past their own mortality to do the right thing.
Screw them. Do what you feel is right in your heart. As for the real screwballs..forget them they don’t get it and won’t.
As a survivor just so you know I always appreciate the two best friends I have who would jump in and be there no matter what. Not easy to do.
Kerry’s last blog post..So true…More to come on this.
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February 25th, 2009 at 12:58 pm
@Kerry, Congrats on being a survivor, first of all. I’m trying to do what I feel is best. Course, who can know? It’s an honor to do this for Lisa, but I’ll be damned if the whole thing isn’t doing my head in.
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February 25th, 2009 at 6:31 pm
@Secondhand Karl, Thanks Karl..I just lost a very close friend who i met on line in a support chat.We met several times in person. I was the one who brought all the info to everyone in the chat. Believe me some are just morons at times. I have learned to ignore most and not give them the time of day.. It did my head and heart in. Doing whats best for Lisa..and in my case for Judy..Omg I wouldn’t of done it any other way. But ya its tough as hell. A year later I still wonder what could I have done differently. Nothing cause I did what was right. No regrets.
See you know the meaning of honor…its not thought of much these days. It takes a special friend to really dive in and just be there no matter what the hell is going down.
The other thing is in the me me society we live in..People don’t get this isn’t about you me but about Lisa right this second.Everything else is secondary.
Lisa’s story to me is important. I to have gone through it three times and its never been a cake walk.
I guess I just want people really think about what they write.
Don’t second guess yourself…You did good!!
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I don’t think talking about statistics is necessarily crass or tacky. Especially when it is yet more evidence in favor of one of my foundational theories for blog purity.
With that said, I do have to agree with Britt in that right now it is about Lisa. There’s plenty of time for it to be about us… but that isn’t the case for her.
If you think I’m being bitchy about it… then yeah… I am.
NYCWD’s last blog post..Believe
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February 25th, 2009 at 12:59 pm
@NYCWD, Thanks, dude. I appreciate your candor, as always.
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Coming from a different corner on perspective, I think people are terrified of their own mortality. We see death all the time on television, but we don’t connect to it. Lisa is a real person, and she’s out there in her blog to connect with – which may be many people’s closest brush with death, because in general we’re a pretty long lived society.
It doesn’t make it right, but maybe that is what’s going on – rather than people “getting off” on her suffering and decline. Maybe the extra traffic is just an influx of the slightly curious, and more than slightly afraid.
In either case, ignore the negative. You don’t have to justify anything to anyone, Karl – you never did. *hugs*
Kyra’s last blog post..Credit
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February 25th, 2009 at 1:00 pm
@Kyra, Thanks. Right now I feel like slugging the people that think Lisa’s illness has been fake all this time. I’m out of sorts.
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While you explained pretty well what the heck you are talking about in this post, I’m still confused.
I’m slow sometimes. But you probably already know this about me don’t ya?
All I know is that is post really put me in a foul mood! I read your blog faithfully and maybe it’s because I do consider you to be a friend and not just some mystery blogger person that I read, I have yet to feel like you have tried to “up your blog” because of what you are doing for Lisa.
What I took from you talking about your stats since the “power of the blog” is that so many people care about Lisa and are jumping from your site to hers for any update about Lisa. For example, “Oh, Lisa didn’t post today. Let me check out Karl’s blog to see if he has any updates.”
The fact that your stats have improved since the “power of the blog” just shows that people are thinking of Lisa, care about her and just want to know how she is doing and checking your blog to see if you have anything.
Maybe I am WAY off base here.
I’m also one of those people who don’t care if you advertise how much money you make off your blog, sell ads on your blog, tell the world how may readers you have… I say, the more money, the more readers, the more this and that, Good for you!! There are plenty of blogs that I read that have a mass following that is totally deserved and I’m glad that they are making money and have a ton of readers because their blog is amazing. Then there are some blogs that have a mass following and for the life of me I can’t figure out why!
Getting off topic aren’t I?
Anywho, I think the bottom line is that people care about Lisa. They want any and all updates. They know if her blog doesn’t have an update, check out Karl’s and see if he knows something. That is what I gather and that would be my train of thought… but again, that’s just me.
This post put me in a bad mood because I know your heart is in the right place. You are doing what Lisa wants you to do… keep us posted. I don’t think she really cares if you post her updates on your blog or hers. I don’t know, maybe she does. I don’t know Lisa at all expect what I read about her via your blog and what you have told me about her. You are being an amazing friend to her and people are taking the nice thing that you are doing and making it into something different.
Good Lord! I rambled on didn’t I??? I don’t have time to proof my comment… off to my morning meetings… I hope I made some sense and didn’t misspell too many words!
Janelle’s last blog post..Eh. We All Can’t Look Like Suri or Shiloh
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February 25th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
@Janelle, Whew, that’s longer-winded than some of my best diatribes!
Thanks. I only decided to start posting updates on Lisa’s blog yesterday, when I found out she couldn’t post herself any more.
I consider myself a bit of a cynic, but for anyone to actually believe that I feel lucky or giddy about a temporary burst in numbers…well, that’s pretty fucking low.
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I’m new to both you and Lisa. But I’m here because I found YOUR blog posts (and Twitter) to be well written and worth reading and sticking around for, (So: Hi- nice to meet you, I’m Pando). Also, I don’t know enough about either of you to make any assumptions. And my heart goes out to you and her family and friends, internet and otherwise, in this trying time.
Tragedy does tend to draw people out of the woodwork, but usually most people have good, supportive intentions, or so I’d like to think anyway.
Pando’s last blog post..Some Non Depressing Stuff
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February 25th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
@Pando, Hi there, thanks for dropping by. Yeah, woodwork. Heh.
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People who are accusing you of doing this for traffic are probably the same ones who still think Lisa is making stuff up. Don’t let the haters bother you Karl.
I used to read another blogger who had cancer and passed away and in her final days/weeks, her comments were insane! I don’t know what it is about people when it comes to the issue of death.
Just be you Karl. All of us who know you love you and know you’re doing the right thing and that stats are the last things on your mind.
Black Belt Mama’s last blog post..Yet Another Reason to Boycott McDonald’s
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February 25th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
@Black Belt Mama, Thanks. I guess it takes all kinds, eh?
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yo Karl, eff those people who might misconstrue your attention to site traffic and its origins…you’re right, Lisa would love it and joke about it, it’s not in poor taste. people who don’t understand the situation might not ‘get’ it, but like you said, they can f*ck off. I’m glad your traffic’s up, Lisa is gaining more devotees and readers even in her last hours. it means that ovarian cancer is getting some attention, and might open conversations and thinking. I hope she gets even more readers and fans, because her story is a very strong, beautiful, honest story. I wish everyone could know her story, and the more traffic she gets through you or whoever, I applaud.
You are awesome and have said nothing in poor taste.
ML
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February 25th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
@MaryLeigh, True dat. I’m not in the best of moods so I’ve been wondering if I truly overstepped the lines of “good taste,” if anything related to cancer can be considered in “good taste.”
I just know she and I have laughed about it. Fuck those that can’t take a joke.
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Hi Karl – first time commenter – long time lurker/reader. Reading your post pissed me off just like reading a post last week that another blogger wrote insinuating that you were getting off on the higher volume pissed me off. I IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM AGREE WITH THOSE PEOPLE AND RESPECT AND ADMIRE YOU MORE THAN EVER NOW. I just do not see it that way at ALL and feel that perhaps Lisa’s followers might somehow feel a bit closer to her by getting to know you – her good friend. I actually found Lisa through YOUR blog but have grown to adore you both more and more.
Great big cyber hugs and many prayers for you as you anticipate the hard days ahead.
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February 25th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
@Lisa O, Hey Lisa. Thanks for finally commenting! I need to just take a day or two away, I think. Everything is working my last nerve right now, especially a few @sshats.
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I’m totally with Janelle. I’m hopping back and forth between your blog and Lisa’s because I am amazed at the outpouring of love in the comments, and, as she mentions, I (selfishly) want any nugget of news to assure me that little family is finding peace. I don’t read here often (sorry!) and comment on either site even less. But I have been reading Lisa faithfully for awhile now.
Lisa has to take care of Lisa and you have to take care of you. We, the blogosphere, and all of our idiosyncracies are by no means meant to be priority to either one of you.
wafelenbak’s last blog post..Hopeful
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February 25th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
@wafelenbak, Thank you.
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quoi?
I am completely unaware of this drama, so I’m going to pretend I didn’t read this and remain blissfully ignorant.
My mom thanks you for posting to Lisa’s blog, we’ve been wondering about her for weeks now.
see you tomorrow!
Poppy’s last blog post..vulnerable
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February 25th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
@Poppy, It’s for the best that way, I think, staying unaware. Looking forward to our show.
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You’re doing a good thing for your friend, her friends and her readers. I think it might be a case of frustrated & misplaced emotion. People will come around & be sensible eventually.
eden’s last blog post..Corey Vidal’s video is back
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February 25th, 2009 at 11:20 pm
@eden, I’d like to think I’m doing a good thing, thanks.
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Seriously?!!!
GEEZ.
xoxo
Sybil Law’s last blog post..20. Really?!
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February 25th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
@Sybil Law, Yeah.
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OK, wait? Someone took the time to bitch about stats? Clearly someone needs to get a life and get off the f*cking computer. The ignorance of people never ceases to amaze me. They sound like the attention whore to me.
Chatty’s last blog post..Shhhhh
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February 25th, 2009 at 11:21 pm
@Chatty, I think it’s the fact that I talked about traffic at all that is bothersome to some.
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To these people I say “Up your nose with a rubber hose!” They have no idea what yours and Lisa’s relationship is so they have no right to say anything. What kind of person do you have to be to think you have the right to say something like that to someone? [Which, btw, I realize was the whole just of your post, I just like to repeat things randomly.]
What would be “tacky” is if you used all of the extra traffic to be like “Oh look, go to this article I get paid for traffic on after you’re done here.” No one is forcing them to come here repeatedly. Geesh.
Sheila (Charm School Reject)’s last blog post..Goals
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February 25th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Yeah, hell…it’s not like I’m attempting to offend people. And you’re right, people don’t know the relationship Lisa and I have, but it doesn’t stop anyone from making judgments about how I’m handling everything. I was interested in getting the word out about Lisa, so I linked at retweeted a few times on Twitter.
The fact that numbers spike for a short time doesn’t matter to me. In the least. I’m just trying, perhaps not so greatly, to do right by Lisa and her readers.
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The only thing more offensive than the sheer number that come out and the traffic generated from someone dying, particularly young and from cancer, is how quickly they will all go away once the freak part of the show has subsided.
And that is when you are likely to desire the traffic more than now, more than ever.
I swear when my young daughter was dying, we were a fucking freak show. I held onto all of it at the time. I needed to. I needed all of “them.”
I still did months and even years later, yet they had settled back into their lives. The show was over for them.
How I wish it could have ended at will for me and my girl like it did for them. How used I felt, how exploited.
Hindsight being 20/20, I would tell them all to go away, and to keep it a private and intimate time.
won’s last blog post..Define Courage
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February 25th, 2009 at 11:39 pm
@won, I hope it’s not like a vacuum of attention for the family down the road.
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Why am I always the last to know anything? Oh, I know, because I read blogs for their content not their stats or the whiney pants comments on the author’s stats.
If you are funny or provocative, or whatever, I’ll read you and I don’t care where your traffic is coming from as long as it doesn’t get me any more noticed by the CIA than I already am.
As far as being amazed by those stats goes, just because someone’s dying doesn’t mean they (and their friends) don’t get to talk about the strange and amusing stuff in life anymore.
And yes, Poppy’s Mom thanks you very much for keeping us updated on Lisa.
Leslie’s last blog post..That’s My Sweetie
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February 26th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
@Leslie, Thanks.
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I’m one of the stats. I came to you via Lisa. Why? Because I wanted to see what Lisa’s true, amazing friend was like and what he had to say.
You’re a star. And I’m not talking about stats (I don’t know about that sort of stuff; I don’t blog.) I’m saying you’re a star because of what you’ve done for Lisa. You shine brightly.
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February 26th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
@Dawn, Well, I’m glad you’re here. I don’t feel very shiny of late, but thank you.
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karl
People who are accusing you of getting off on stats are just fucking idiots. Who cares why people come here? I happen to become a reader when I saw that video of you cutting your hair off in support of Lisa. Idiots. That shit pisses me off. Because I love to blog and read others perspective on things, well, so what. Now I have lots of places to read great stuff. And yours and Lisa’s humor is much like my mother’s and who doesn’t love feeling like they get a piece of home through others? (raising hand.)
You are on my favorites list. Period. And if Lisa helped, good!! it’ll keep your stats higher! :>P
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February 26th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
@DefendUSA, Thanks, I think the issue at hand regarding any drama is that I inappropriately mentioned something as mundane as traffic in relation to Lisa. I certainly never meant to belittle the situation in any way. The traffic doesn’t mean shit to me.
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Karl,
I certainly understand what you mean about people not ‘assuming’ and I agree with your position about that, no one really knows the relationship you and Lisa have with each other.
I also share MissBritt’s position that this is Lisa’s time and to distract and/or take away from that wouldn’t be very prudent.
That said, I was thinking, given that Lisa has entrusted you with access to her page, you may want to consider making a ‘Back Up’ of it, or somehow preserving her site so that it can be accessed ‘off-line’.
Given that she had purchased her own web address and her site, once the subscription runs out, it won’t be able to be accessed anymore.
I think this is very important to do, as I can’t think of a better Present to give her young daughters, than to have a permanent copy of their mother’s journey, for when they are older and better able to understand her mother from a different perspective.
It would be something that would be highly treasured by them, I’m sure, and a part of Lisa’s Legacy.
~ZZ
Greeneyezz’s last blog post..Adirondacks 2008 – A photo Essay
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February 26th, 2009 at 8:45 pm
@Greeneyezz, Yeah, I plan on backing everything up and putting it all into book form for her family. You’re right, very important.
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Karl,
Great! I think it would be a wonderful idea for them.
If you haven’t decided how to go about this, I understand that Blurb makes a decent one:
http://www.blurb.com/create/book/blogbook
I hope this is helpful.
~ZZ
Greeneyezz’s last blog post..Obama’s Presidential Address to Congress
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Are they the same people who said Lisa was faking her cancer? I would say to ignore them, but it can be easier said than done.
I think part of the traffic would be the natural curiosity of “Who is this Karl guy posting on Lisa’s blog?” But I’m going to guess that’s not the part that bugs you.
Hang in there, Karl.
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February 27th, 2009 at 1:05 pm
@Lynda, No, different people. Thanks.
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See especially pages 28-46 on OM. ,
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