From Beyond the Grave
I didn’t realize that I was now the official disseminator of information regarding Lisa, but apparently that’s the case. I’ve gotten multiple emails over the course of the last week, asking me how she’s doing, why she hasn’t written a blog post since I was there, etc.
And most every referral these days, according to my blog stats, is coming from Clusterfook.com. It’s nice having extra traffic, but I really haven’t been doing much differently than I’ve always done here: swear a lot and joke about excessive masturbation.
Still, I get comment after comment about how I’m an angel and a super duper person. It’s kind of weird, as if I’m doing something above and beyond what mortal men do.
I’m not. I’m doing what a friend does for a friend, pure and simple. I truly believe that each and every one of you would do the same for anyone you loved.
Still, because I know there are a phenomenal amount of people that feel somehow connected to Lisa – even those that have never met her – I’ll do my best to keep you posted when I hear anything. That’s part of my job, I suppose, as Power of Blog, though part of me wants to say, “Damned if I know, my name is KARL.”
We spoke on the phone tonight and she’s doing a bit better since they changed her pain meds for her. That’s a very good thing. She tells me she has been working on a post for the last couple of days, but you need to understand something.
Lisa is not the same Lisa she was even a month ago. She’s in constant pain and she’s routinely out of her head thanks to the pain meds…oxycodone, morphine, etc. The last fucking thing on her mind most of the time is taking time out to write a blog post. She just doesn’t have it in her any more.
While I was in PA with her, she told me about the inordinate number of emails she gets from people, most of whom she doesn’t know from Adam (literally). Lots of it is nice, some of it is just, well, bizarre. It’s a very weird feeling when people are out to elevate you to some higher plane, as if dying is somehow giving you magical powers and wisdom to bestow on everyone, as if dying is making you a Saint.
One person even asked Lisa to send her a sign from beyond the grave, a sign that she was there and in contact with her. And this is coming from a complete stranger. Wow.
She joked and made me laugh out loud: “Yeah, when you feel a magical stick up your ass, that’ll be me.”
I’ll tell you what, if Lisa somehow makes contact with ME after she passes, I’m gonna fucking FREAK. Then I’ll be screaming, “Wait! Let me turn on the webcam! Nobody’s gonna BELIEVE this shit!”
I suppose watching someone die, even if it’s virtually through a blog, puts us in touch with our own mortality, something many of us don’t like to think about. Maybe it makes us rethink our lives, what we’re doing with them, what we’re NOT doing with them, our relationships. And that’s not a bad thing. Those things are worth thinking about.
I dunno, it’s just odd to me, the crazy amount of traffic and comments Lisa’s blog is getting now that her days are incredibly finite in number. Yeah, she has a lot of friends, but so many of these people now are from word-of-mouth, people she doesn’t know. And yet everyone seems to expect something from her, something she can’t provide. Answers. Well, guess what? She doesn’t have them.
Lisa is just a girl. An amazing girl, that’s true, but a girl nonetheless. And the fact remains that ALL of our days are finite. It’s just that most of us don’t have the level of foreknowledge that Lisa has about how finite those days are.
Any one of us could drop dead at any moment. Any one of us could be closer to death than Lisa is, and just not know it. There, suck on that lollipop a while.
I guess the point I want everyone to walk away from with this post is that you can’t expect anything from Lisa any more when it comes to blogging. She spends rather short bursts on the laptop these days, and goes days without touching it at all. She’s bogged down with tons of email, like I said, and can’t possibly reply to all of it. I’m amazed she even takes time to READ it.
And you can count on her blog posts on rarer and rarer occasions these days. Or not at all, frankly. That’s just where things stand now. She has other things on her mind than to post to her blog. She’s spending time with her children, her husband, her family and loved ones.
Go to her blog, show her love there. If you’re fortunate enough to be close to Lisa in proximity, go visit her – but DON’T do the Pop-over…she HATES Pop-overs, as do I. Call her first.
And for God’s sake, don’t get all wacky and ask Lisa to send you magical signals after she’s gone. That’s just insane. Maybe you should quit watching Ghost Hunters and Ghost Whisperer marathons.
Filed under Bloggity Blog, Local Goings On, Relationships, Weblogs | Comments (34)34 Responses to “From Beyond the Grave”
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Thank you for this. I know it won’t stop the influx to her inbox, but perhaps it’ll lighten the load on yours. I do live close enough to visit her and regret that we weren’t able to get together in better days, but I don’t regret that now. I’m just thankful she’s in good hands, having her pain managed and surrounded by the ones who deserve the best of the time she has left.
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February 14th, 2009 at 10:17 am
@Heather, I don’t mind the emails. They were just unexpected. But now that I’m hearing how many emails LISA is getting, what I’m getting is pretty minimal.
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You’re an angel and a super duper person.
For realz – there was absolutely no sarcasm in that.
Heh.
Sheila (Charm School Reject)’s last blog post..Protected: Part One
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February 14th, 2009 at 10:18 am
@Sheila (Charm School Reject), Ha ha.
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Yes, it’s what people do for friends…but you’re more visible. Because Lisa is more visible. Bottom line is we’ve all come to ‘know’ Lisa – most of us just through the story…the blog…possibly e-mails, phone calls…
But hers was extraodinary. Not only for all she’s been through. Not only for her personality. Not only because of the raffle to send her and her family to Disneyworld. Not only because of her “FUCK CANCER” or “it is what it is”…
Lisa’s journey was extraordinary because SHE is. We have learned from her…laughed & cried with her…wondered, thought, loved our friends and family more…because of her.
Some people want to feel closer than they are. Some people want answers when there aren’t any. Some people don’t *get* that there isn’t anything written and it could just be a bad day.
Write a ‘pat’ e-mail response that is short, emphathetic, but to the point. People care…some people just don’t get it if they can’t read something every day.
You’re doing awesome…you’re a good friend to Lisa. Thank you for keeping us as informed as you can.
/end novel
Tug’s last blog post..A Butterfly, a Birthday…
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February 14th, 2009 at 10:20 am
@Tug, Well said.
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KARL! I read the word “grave,” and I thought….
UGH!
At present, I’m scooping my heart out of my stomach.
Keep doing good by her. We are all praying. Peace, rest, no pain… and maybe a miracle.
LVGurl’s last blog post..Later days
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February 14th, 2009 at 10:20 am
@LVGurl, Sorry, I suppose I should have chosen the title more wisely. I’m praying, too.
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You’re a good man, Karl.
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February 14th, 2009 at 10:21 am
@Nat, Meh, I’m all right.
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Someone actually wanted a sign from beyond?!!!!
Geeeez.
Anyway, thanks for the updates. What you’re doing may not be heroic (but it is, kinda), but it’s still necessary and helpful, not to mention kind as hell.
Sybil Law’s last blog post..Damn I Love Myself!
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February 14th, 2009 at 10:22 am
@Sybil Law, Yeah, crazy, right?
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That is one thing I will never understand about some people. Do they really think that they are the only one sending an email? Do they really expect a post every day? Even on a highly energetic week, it can be hard for someone healthy!!
Of course tragedies also bring out the lunatics too. UGH.
But you’re a good guy Karl. I love you for that.
metalmom’s last blog post..You. I. We.
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February 14th, 2009 at 11:38 am
@metalmom, I think everyone means well, but I don’t think everyone understands just how much email Lisa is getting these days. Hundreds of emails a week, easily.
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Thanks for the update.
It’s a little disconcerting to pop into her blog and see nothing. I mean, I don’t expect her to drag her ass to the computer to post when simply existing is a struggle, but it’s scary-because we don’t know how she is.
You are a good guy, but I’ll skip that since everyone else is telling you that and tell you you’re a sexy mother-fucker. I <3 a man with a big, hot, throbbing brain. *kisses* Happy Valentine’s Day!
CheekySweetie’s last blog post..Aftermath ~ #Blissdom09
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February 14th, 2009 at 7:41 pm
@CheekySweetie, My brain is definitely hot and throbbing. And big.
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Wow, Karl. You raise me up so much. You’re not just a cool blogger, you’re a deity!!
::wink::
All I wish for Lisa is that she can achieve some sort of mental and physical peace…for her and her family. If she can get that during this time, then there’s nothing more to ask for, you know?
Robin’s last blog post..Love me, love me…
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February 14th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
@Robin, Heh, you’re funny.
Yeah, peace is pretty much what I wish for er, too.
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I can never get over why people do that. Why when they read they someone has cancer, or is dying, or is depressed, or just had surgery, or whatever that they feel the need to comment and email and tell them to give them answers about whatever is wrong in their own lives.
It frustrates me to no end. I just can’t get over how selfish people are.
But maybe that’s because I’m surrounded by awesome friends like you guys, who AREN’T like that.
Sarah’s last blog post..Monterey
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February 14th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
@Sarah, It’s kind of weird, yeah?
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i popped over here initially when lisa mentioned you and have “stayed” since enjoying your quick sense of humor. i’m not sure why you’re alone on vday, especially since you got that nice proposal the other day!
if there’s one thing i’ve learned by age 31, it’s that there are some mighty crazy people in the world. the other night, i spoke with someone who recently had to bury her 8 year old daughter after a long battle with cancer. she told me that some nut actually drove all the way from new hampshire to ohio for the funeral! cuh-ray-zee! on the day she buried her daughter, someone stole her car and broke into her boyfriend’s veh. Nutso people, I tell you.
The most important message that you and Lisa are sharing with all of us is the value and rarity of true friendship. That, I think, is commendable.
she’s last blog post..Hehe
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February 15th, 2009 at 11:04 am
@she, Geez, that is insane. People, I just don’t get them sometimes. Thanks for coming by (more than once).
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That was me who asked for the sign and I was thinking more literally, like a billboard from heaven or something, maybe to drive more traffic to my blog. . .
Ok, you totally know I’m just messing around right?
Black Belt Mama’s last blog post..Stimulate This
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February 16th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
@Black Belt Mama, Heh, you’re quite the card.
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Indeed, I am one who checks in regular. I know that Lisa doesn’t have the energy. I have seen what this cancer has done before and I am betting if she makes it for another month, she will be lucky. Not to be mean, but rather realistic.
It is that we face our own mortality and the blogworld gives us access to such things as we may not encounter in our own daily lives. in my life, it makes me keenly aware that someone has it worse than I do and, shit- if my life is sucking eggs, what am I gonna do to fix it?
That strange thing that happens when people show up at funerals for people they don’t know, or when people send money or presents is because they CAN and it’s bigger than they are.
Lisa’s situation is bigger than they are and they want to know they tried to make a difference. Human nature, i suppose. It’s all good, though a bit overwhelming, no doubt.
There’s a Bowie song “Everyone Says Hi” I hear that and I think of every person I know no longer here and I feel good.
People feel good telling Lisa they are thinking of her. And, it’s nice to know you have an impact on people who don’t know you.
Karl, I don’t know you,either, but your actions as Lisa’s friend make me wish I did.
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February 16th, 2009 at 8:15 pm
@DefendUSA, Yes, I suppose death is bigger than all of us. I’ll have to check out that Bowie song. Love his stuff.
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I don’t want a stick in my bum either.
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February 17th, 2009 at 10:33 am
@SciFi Dad, No, huh?
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If Lisa shoves a magical stick up your ass during the excessive masturbating, please do not share. Especially on zee video. kthxbai.
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February 19th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
@Karen Sugarpants, Deal.
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This is one of the sanest, most humane and caring pieces of writing I’ve ever read. That sounds a little over-the-top, I’m sure, but it really moved me.
Thanks for that.
Well Read Hostess’s last blog post..Like Water Seeking Its Lowest Level
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February 19th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
@Well Read Hostess, Sane? I’ll have to work harder next time!
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Thanks for posting this — now I know that was I thought was going on with Lisa is what is really going on. It really sucks not to be able to do anything for her but I am so glad you might be able to give us news here and there. Thank you.
Nina’s last blog post..What day is this?
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February 24th, 2009 at 10:47 am
@Nina, Sure thing. I’ll keep everyone posted as I hear things.
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