Magical Barack
Oh, Magical Barack,
Please use your supernatural powers to flash-forward 24 hours past all this inaugural bullshit. Listen, I voted for you. That’s saying a lot. You’re the very first time I voted Democrat.
Now I implore you, get your ass sworn in so we can finally be done with 2-1/2 YEARS of this freaking presidential campaign. I would gladly watch five more months of crawls on the bottom of my screen, warning me about the advent of digital television, which will render all free-air transmissions on old televisions useless without a digital converter box…if only you would just be sworn in so I can watch something else on CNN and Nightline.
I know that starting tomorrow, the country is going to be magically transformed with your BarackObamaness. All our problems will be solved. All Americans will have health care as good as the U.S. Senate. We’ll each get $25,000 back from Uncle Sam. Cars will all get 100 miles per gallon using tap water.
I can’t wait for Osama Bin Laden to be captured tomorrow. Every home will have broadband Internet speeds faster than T-1. We’ll all get goosebumps as Lee Greenwood sings “I’m Proud to Be an American” personally to us in our own living rooms. We’ll gather round huge bonfires, singing “Kumbaya” while chugging Bailey’s.
It’s going to be amazing, I just know it. But please. PLEASE. Can we just skip past the fucking inauguration with all the concerts and the train stops and poems and the gajillions of idiots freezing their asses out on the Mall?
Can we just skip to the Magical Barack part? I’m tired. I just don’t want to hear political rhetoric on my TV for at least six months.
You know, until we start campaigning for 2012.
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And this is why I’m watching Sesame Street on PBS this morning.
*pixie*’s last blog post..Six-pack
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January 20th, 2009 at 11:10 am
@*pixie*, Ha!
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Heh. Dude. I feel your pain. But I’m watching it on Canadian TV, so it’s only half as bad. Maybe.
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January 20th, 2009 at 11:10 am
@james, I’ll probably switch over a few minutes before noon. But Wednesday can’t come soon enough.
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Knocked up is on HBO right now….
Just sayin…..
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January 20th, 2009 at 11:11 am
@Blondefabulous, Great flick. I’m watching some Robert Deniro / Philip C. Hoffman movie on Showtime.
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Amen, brother. I figure we’ve got at least six months before Palin starts campaigning for 2012, and I’d like to spend that sans campaign commercials.
Nice place you’ve got here, by the way.
wolf’s last blog post..More of me
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January 20th, 2009 at 12:19 pm
@wolf, Hey, thanks for dropping by. If campaigning starts this summer, I’m committing sepaku.
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OK, Mr. Cynical. Enjoy your movie. xo
Finn’s last blog post..Illusions Of Grandeur
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January 20th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
@Finn, Ha, yes, I’m cynical. But I am watching his speech. Then I’ll probably go rub one out.
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January 20th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
@Secondhand Karl, *snorts*
Finn’s last blog post..Illusions Of Grandeur
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January 20th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
@Finn, You laugh. But I did.
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I am so happy to find someone else who feels the same way I do. It gets pretty lonely, ya know?
I can’t wait until someone asks me, “What were you doing the day Barack Obama was inaugurated?” My response will be… “It didn’t dawn on me that I should have stopped to watch. I was grocery shopping with my youngest child.”
I’m not bitter, no…I’m just not swept away. For me, he is not a savior. He’s a man elected to an office — an office that will age him, that will defy him, that will force him to eat his words. The American Presidency is a brutal machine, and the American Public is a fickle bunch. I just hope all the people with stars in their eyes will go easy on him when he inevitably goofs up.
LVGurl’s last blog post..Later days
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January 20th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
@LVGurl, Grocery shopping, heh. Just never forget that you were grocery shopping. It was a momentous shopping trip indeed.
I agree with you. I think he’s a great guy and all, but I wonder if the American people will be kind when things don’t start magically happening right away.
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I’m glad I got to take the time to watch the inauguration, since it’s an historic occasion. I don’t think he’s some magical Messiah, but it’s definitely a huge step forward for the American people, and that alone made it worth watching.
Avitable’s last blog post..Avitaweek 2009: Obama’s Inauguration Speech!
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January 20th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
@Avitable, If he’s NOT a magical messiah I take back my vote! I voted for MAGIC, dammit!
And I actually did watch the inauguration. Turned it on 10 minutes before noon, watched through his speech, then turned SciFi Channel back on.
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I built a snowman with Lil C. Want to come play in the snow until tomorrow?
Black Belt Mama’s last blog post..Who Designs This Stuff Anyway?
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January 20th, 2009 at 7:09 pm
@Black Belt Mama, Ooh, I do!
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I watched it until the luncheon. Then I went back to Facebook. I am such a loser!
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January 20th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
@Sybil Law, Facebook? What’s keeping you busy on Facebook? I thought it was Nick.com Air Hockey?
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I was in and out of patients rooms, but I did watch where he was sworn in. And, I’m all for chugging Bailey’s and singing campfire songs. Where do I sign up for that?
becky’s last blog post..A Day to Remember
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January 20th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
@becky, Sign up at karlforpresident.com, of course.
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When the time comes for me to do my “Best of 2009″ and pick my favorite posts, I can’t imagine ANY post being better than this one for all of 2009! I. LOVE. IT!
I love the way you talked about the crawls for the stupid digital cable crap thing. O.M.G! Can February come soon enough so that I can STOP being reminded. I don’t have freakin’ rabbit ears on my TV and I don’t know a single soul that does!
Anywho, thank you for this post. You have made my day if not my year with this one post. Wow! Maybe you should be president? I’d vote for ya!
Janelle’s last blog post..Let Today Be That Day
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January 21st, 2009 at 9:56 am
@Janelle, Oh, you flatterer, you. And I can’t believe you don’t have rabbit ears on your TV. SOMEONE must because the government actually ran out of over $1 BILLION earmarked for those $40 converter box coupons.
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The magic day only lasts 20 hours. Once it’s done, then it’s business as usual, so long as you stay off the CNN and MSNBC news stations. Fox News stopped their Obama coverage to focus on the Palin 2012 coverage… LOL
martymankins’s last blog post..A New Beginning
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January 21st, 2009 at 5:10 pm
@martymankins, Yes, I think we’re nearly back to “normal” now. This is when it gets good, when we see what Magical Barack is actually going to DO.
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Bwahahahaha… and ::kicking myself for not thinking of BarackObamaness first::
Faiqa’s last blog post..Finding Johnny Castle
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January 21st, 2009 at 7:08 pm
@Faiqa, It’s the best adjective I could think of.
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I slept through the inauguration. Most of the politic stuff just goes over my head really, I tend to zone out (just like in class all this week!).
I’m actually glad I’m not the only one who is kinda over the 24/7 coverage forever about this. I just want my shows back!
Sarah’s last blog post..Could
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