Comments on: The Devil Inside

By: Secondhand Karl

Secondhand Karl — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 04:49:59 +0000

Tori – We would *definitely* be friends. Love to hang with you in person. You rock.

Twinkie – Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t need flaky people. I have enough of those in my life. Send me the ones you actually like.

By: Twinkie

Twinkie — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 01:03:20 +0000

I have a couple of friends I’m kinda fed up and done with.

If it will help I’ll ship ‘em to yah! LOL

By: tori

tori — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 17:02:55 +0000

Trauma breathing is somethng I totally do. I didn’t know there was a name for it and I certainly did not know anyone else did it!

I don’t know what to say about the real life friend thing. If you lived near me, I’m sure we’d be real life friends. I mean I consider you a friend already, just one I haven’t met yet. So in that sense we are real life friends already I guess, but I wish you had “your people” close in location to you!

By: Secondhand Karl

Secondhand Karl — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 04:36:40 +0000

Charlene – a lockdown unit? Yikes! Surprised I haven’t been in one of those before. Hope you’re doing okay now, aside from the residual side effects.

By: crazy charlene

crazy charlene — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 15:06:53 +0000

Karl~~i hate the words “I know what you are feeling” because no one but me knows what i am feeling, but I KNOW where you are coming from
as one who is looking 51 in the eyes and sometimes “forgets to breathe” until “she” passes out~~something i learned as a small child; get me all stressed out and parnoid from my PTSD, anxious from whatever life is dealing me, and yes, i will hold my breath until i pass out! Scares the fuck out of people~~do i “do i on purpose?” it calms the situation i’m dealing with a little, sucks though, especially if this is done in front of very many people, or if the person who i’m “having a fread fit” in front of hasn’t seen me this upset

i’ve lived in “big urban” centers as well as small ass tiny towns, it doesn’t make a difference to me
but

darlin, whatever gets you through the night!!
take care
there are more of “us” out there, “we” are just brave enough to admit it!

hugs and kisses

can you tell i recently spent 9 days in a lock down unit? forced therapy does work, still suffering from side effects of all the freaking drugs they shot me up with!!

talking with a college friend yesterday~~ we laughed about how much we would have enjoyed the drugs we have to take 30 years ago~~hmmmm maybe this is just one of those acid flashbacks “they” warned us about

By: Secondhand Karl

Secondhand Karl — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 05:02:22 +0000

Princess – I look forward to it. I have experience living in a larger city and the truth is it helps. There are more options available. More social settings. Sure, there are times I want to stay in my shell, but I have many friends in Dallas. Maybe I need to start going to church again.

Sue – I do that, too.

Lisa – Thanks, babe. Yeah, time to expand my horizons.

Sheila – Ha, that WAS a long call.

Kris – Thanks. I know there are more people like us than I realize.

Faiqa – You know, I instantly liked you, too. So many people knew you before but I’d never even heard of you until the party. I look forward to building friendship with you, too. And yeah, most of my friends are developed online. I don’t distinguish between “real” friends and “online” friends any more. But still, it’s nice to have people to hang with locally. And you’re welcome to “post” here any time.

Wendy – Hiya! Yeah, I am in mourning, that’s true. And I would love to have a select few friends here locally. I don’t. I still have friends online and that’s great…but I can’t drop everything and go visit them whenever I want.

Finn – I should go out to Ft. Lauderdale and pay you a visit. You’re certainly one of the coolest people I know.

By: Finn

Finn — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:35:10 +0000

I don’t know what I can say that hasn’t already been said except this:

You are a lovely man, Karl. If you were able to put yourself out there you would have more friends than you could handle.

But I also think many of us suffer from the same problem even without the issues. Life is busy and hectic and there just doesn’t seem to be time to develop friendships. I have the damnedest time meeting new people offline that I can click with. Online, no problem.

I think the important thing is that you have people you can open up to somewhere. It’s better to be able to touch, see and hear them (more satisfying), but I don’t think the friendship is necessarily deeper because of it.

By: wendy

wendy — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:03:01 +0000

Friends. Some times I think it’s a contrived idea.Something like having a fancy car..or a big house. The more you have, the higher up the food chain you appear to be.

Just give me a few people, near or far, that get me..That would take a break from their lives and listen if I needed it..and that is just fine for me.

Sounds like you are mourning something lost. That’s human. And brave. I wish you comfort.

By: Faiqa

Faiqa — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:47:08 +0000

I keep writing something here and hitting delete because there’s so much I want to say to you. I know how you feel. I have been there. It may not seem like it, but I have. Karl, it was amazing to meet you. I rarely meet anyone and dislike them, but, at the same time, I rarely meet anyone and just *adore* them. I still haven’t figured out the reason I instantly liked you (the sexy outfit, maybe?). I hope as our friendship develops, that this reason comes to the surface. And, this might be an unpopular sentiment, but I think physical proximity and “real” world friends are highly overrated. The heart of a meaningful friendship occurs on an altogether non-physical plane, anyway. If you’ve connected emotionally with some of your online friends, if they are people you can trust with your emotions, and who give something back to your relationship, then you have a lot more than some people will EVER have. Annnd I’m sorry for the mini-post.

By: Kris

Kris — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:42:53 +0000

Karl, I totally get what you’re saying. It takes time…years, if ever, to retrain ourselves not to trauma breathe. And just when we think we’re safe, something (albeit small to everyone else) comes along to blindside us and we feel that way again, have to retrain ourselves, etc. It’s constant adjustment and a LOT of work.

You know you can always email me if you want to scream. We go through a lot of the same shit. And you never have to go through it alone.