Saturday Night
The Funk continues. There need to be changes round here, outside AND in. I’m tired of being this way…afraid of leaving the house, afraid of staying in. Fear sucks. I mean, some fear is healthy, of course, but when you let it control you? Yeah, that’s not good.
Time for a switch-up. I need more socializing. It’s easy for me to remain hermitish, though not good in the extreme I take it. My typical day routine?
Wake up between 8-10am. Make coffee. Take insulin, check sugar. Sit down at laptop, turn on the TV. Work, watch news, watch Tivo shows. Maybe slip some food in there somewhere. More coffee. Malaise sets in, go back to bed. Wake up a few hours later. Back to work and TV. Dinner. Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, night time shows, working and emailing all the while. Nightline, maybe some Jimmy Kimmel. Bed.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Exciting, yeah? Not so much.
Maybe Monday I’ll go work in the local coffee shop. At least then I can get some peoplewatching in. And coffee. Daddy needs a new set of teeth. Speaking of which, my pending dental work is going to cost me $8,000. YIKES! Good thing I had all that orthodontia done in my teens. Really taught me to take care of my teeth. *cough*
I HATE my smile. That’s another thing I’m changing. I’m tired of not fully smiling, not that I feel like smiling much at all lately, but still. Maybe I would if I had a nice bright smile again. Course, that’ll take a while. Gonna have to do everything piecemeal.
More getting out. More socializing. Better dental hygiene. More sex. OK, just sex. What? I figure if I put it out into the Universe…
Filed under Depression, Local Goings On |26 Responses to “Saturday Night’s Alright for Whining”
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Please don’t think I’m minimizing your struggle, but, damn, what I wouldn’t give to be left the hell alone for a month or two. A part of me envies you. The rest hopes you get everything you’re wanting and that it makes you indescribably happy.
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Faiqa - The grass is always greener, eh?
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I think that the reason I hate most of my pictures is because I smile and I can see my teeth and I hate my teeth. But enough about my issues. I hope that everything works out for you and you get everything you want and deserve, but you deserve to be happy hon.
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Sarah - oh stop. You’re gorgeous. Thanks.
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Getting your teeth fixed WILL make a huge impact on your willingness to smile and on your self esteem.
I recently had a lot of work done on my mouth, including a new partial denture and the result was amazing! I was so happy with how it looked, I got new glasses and a new hairstyle as well! The boost it gave me was incredible.
I still feel alone and I’m not sure what’s worse, being lonely cos you’re alone or being lonely in a relationship, but I definetly feel better about myself overall.
Hope it all works out for you, we all deserve to be happy.
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Being sick, I understand how you feel. I rarely leave the house and I’m in bed at 6 pm every night. I’m so deeply embedded into a routine, a depressing routine, that I’m surprised I haven’t jumped out of a window. I think the thing that keeps me sane is just taking it one day at a time. Once yesterday is gone I don’t look back and I don’t think about tomorrow.
I think going to the coffee shop is an excellent idea. Sometimes just sitting outside is a great change of pace. Letting the sun hit your face can make you feel better.
As far as the dental work is concerned, can’t they set up a payment plan? I know my dentist wanted to give me veneers (which I really don’t need) and he had financing. I have a little gap at my front teeth that doesn’t warrant $20,000 of dental work.
I did pay $300 to have my teeth whitened two years ago and that made a huge difference.
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Babysteps Hon, babysteps…
Well, except on the sex thing. If it gets offered, throw yourself in there with NO mercy!
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I think the coffee shop is a great idea! Only I think you should start eating breakfast. (That’s my mommy mode…
Otherwise, things will happen. Be patient. All you gotta do is take that first step…
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Sweetie, is your sugar still high? (I’m newly diagnosed Type 2. Suckage, for sure.) I know when my BG is high it really makes me want to sleeeeeep (on top of normal depression).
There’s something to be said for self-love, ya know. ::evil grin::
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((((Karl))))
I get it. I don’t know how to fix it, but I get it.
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start with the sex part and then everything will seem brighter and better. true story.
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do you IM or chat or anything… I found, when I was so ill last year, that being able to chat online or even use my webcam gave me the socialization I needed to feel “normal” without really leaving the house…
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Sybil - OK, I’ll eat breakfast.
Kris - Ugh, I’d say welcome to the family, but that sucks. Yeah, my sugar still runs high sometimes. It’s getting better, though.
Stephanie -
Crys - Well, that sounds simple.
Tori - I’ve been chatting more again lately. Good idea.
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the teeth thing should help the sex thing… just sayin’.
I’ve been there before: in a place where you know no one and you resort to stuff like people watching at a coffee shop for socialization. I don’t know how to help you though, because what got me out of it was meeting people at work (lunch hour). With an internet job, that’s a little difficult.
But I agree, the webcam chat thing would help (just avoid Avitable unless you want more hairy ass in your life).
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SciFi Dad - Good point. Yeah. The internet job makes socializing a bit of a challenge, but I do love it. Make my own hours, no dress code, and watch TV while I work!
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“I need more socializing. It’s easy for me to remain hermitish”
There’s something funny about this comment. I think you’ll understand.
I’m a hermit as well — Saturday night I stayed in, caught up on recordings of Stargate and Star Trek, and read blogs. I’ve got a couple of nice bars just a short walk away but chose to spend my time by myself.
As you typically do. Seemingly.
If someone were to ask me to describe you the last thing I’d say would be “he’s hermit-like.” That’s because every time I go out I run into you. So, I think you’re out and about all the time.
What I’m getting from this post is that I need to quit saying to myself, “I need to be like Karl and get out more.”
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Delmer - Don’t confuse me. I can’t think straight on weekends.
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Not that I’m trying to be nosy, but do you have Seasonal Affective Disorder? I know that my depression and anxiety always get worse after the fall/winter time change. All I want to do is hibernate, when what I need to do is get out and actually have human contact.
Good luck with the dentist, and the sugars. And I agree with Sybil…eat decently:)
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Becky - I don’t think I have SAD. This is kinda common throughout the year, really. And I’ll eat.
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Eat more bananas. I hear they’re a cure all for everything.
Obviously sorta kidding, but not really.
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Karl, I wish I lived closer. A million kudos to you for being proactive and trying to make yourself get out of the house though.
We’ve got lots and lots of meet’n'greets coming up though - by the time BlogHer gets here, you’ll be sick of us!
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Dude. Mystery Shopping. It gets you out of the house, the restaurant shops force you to eat, you get reimbursed for your pain and you get to be nosy. It’s like the perfect job for you!
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Ok, that’s some serious ass dough for dental work. Here in my mid 40’s, my dentist is seeing me more often than I would like. It’s sucks, but I want to keep my teeth.
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Oh Karl, I wish I could go back down to Florida and give you a big ol Janelle hug!
Everyone has pretty much summed up what I want to say. Congrats on knowing what you think you want to do to improve your life. That is ALWAYS a great first step!
Sending you air hugs,
Me!
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Twinkie - Bananas. Check. Seems appropriate.
Sheila - True.
Kevin - Heh, I’ve thought about that before, actually. Course, it’s more work than the job I have now.
Marty - Yeah, same here.
Janelle - I could use a big hug. Thanks.
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Why do we socialize if not for sex?
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