I’m Avitable and I’m famous on the internet.
But like most of you, I bask in the shadow that is Karl. He’s like a giant phallic obelisk blotting out the sun to all of the rest of us hungry bloggers.
What most of you don’t know, though, is that Karl was famous way before he became a Rockstar A-List Blogger. He had a brief movie career and if you blinked, you might have missed it. I’ve got some screenshots for you to see, although you might have to click on them to see the bigger version. I blame Karen for giving Karl only 450 pixels of content space – ridiculous!
For example, did you see his quick cameo in “Apocalypse Now” as Private Harold Pecker?
Or his co-starring role in “The Godfather: as Johnny “Two Dicks” Lasagna?
You probably also missed his pivotal scene in “Jaws” as Interested Observer #4.
He is, however, most famous for his small but important part as Oliver Panteezoff in “Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom”.
And, of course, Karl had to work hard to achieve his level of success in Hollywood. Like most attractive young male stars with dreams of success, he had to start at the bottom:
Uh oh! The police are here!
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I probably would have fuzzied out the boy bits, myself.
Good stuff, Avi!
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TSM – Never blur the boy bits. It’s spoils the shock value.
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Ack! My eyes!
Someone really needs to start implementing “Not appropriate for prudes” warning labels on these kinds of posts.
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Man, that was a special time for us. We had a scare for a few weeks when we thought Karl might be pregnant, but I think that just brought us closer together.
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Wow, I need to find out what shaver Karl uses. I can’t believe he waxed the boys, so he must have one heck of a good razor. And I wonder if he studied yoga back then? My husband could never get into that position.
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Mattie, I think it’s awesome that you were this concerned, though. Seriously.
Crystal, you lurved it.
Shash, all I did was post a picture from Karl’s heyday.
Em, well, knowing me, it’s kind of expected.
Hilly, “blah blah blah” is a Cali thing?
BTDT, I’m guessing Karl’s got some serious man bush down there.
Becky, your weekend’s all downhill now.
Karl, have your mom or girls said anything?
Iron Fist, I didn’t want to make all the men who read Karl feel inferior.
Mattie, no corners! Stay out in the middle with us!
Nat, he has a great girlish figure.
Finn, anytime I can make someone pee is a good day.
Skye, doesn’t BlogHer have gay members who might appreciate the artwork?
Metalmom, death by laughing is a good way to go.
Stephanie, gots ta watch out for the po-po!
TSM, nah – the shock is in seeing the whole kit’n'kaboodle.
Winter, exactly!
Stacey, if it has my name on it, it should be assumed!
Whit, I’m sure it’s quite a walk down memory lane.
Evil Genius, I think he uses the Schick Quattro.
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I am scared for life!!! I mean it. You ruined me!!! I am still in shock, do not know how i am typing!!! YIKES!!
M
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Okay wife walked in and stood giving me a funny look, “Is there something you need to tell me dear?”
I just said, “Avitable,” and she walked off, “Should’ve known.”
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DUDE, I am on a family-used computer, and now there is cached butt sex porn on it, thanks to YOU.
*SIGH*
Ripley glares in your general direction.
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Dude is he doing you dry, he could have at least spit on it damn…and holy crap your pale.
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Michell, the more you protest, the more I know you loved it.
Mik, I like her.
Poppy, c’mon. There was cached butt sex porn on it before you came to this post. Admit it!
Trukindog, it’s the trials and tribulations of growing up a young film star.
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“…and that, children, is why Adam was never asked to do another guest post anywhere ever again. The end.”
Karl, you were so hot! What happened to you?
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Well, she has seen your nut sack!
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i am SO back to loving you, adam.
this was spectacular.
although i am all about concerned that i won a guest post from you.
hehe
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Is it a bad thing that the only one of those films I’ve actually seen is the last one?
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OMG! I literally L’dOL on that one. Ha ha ha ha!
That last pic is priceless!!!
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Haha, I just came to see how you were doing with the not-smoking, Karl. I think I need to read Avitable’s blog now. I needed a laugh!
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Laughing, laughing, laughing
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Kettle, are you kidding? I’m in more demand than ever now!
Mik, who hasn’t?
Hello, oh yeah – do I have free reign?
Dan, no, I expected as much.
Elisa, well, actually it has a price.
Elizabeth, you should read my blog. I’m awesome.
Turnbaby, , masturbating, masturbating, masturbating?
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yes, free reign. i’ll give you the keys to my home any time you want, you can do what you want when you are there. it is ok, i am not afraid. well, maybe a little “concerned” sorta, but not afraid.
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Avitable you really are a God among men, and Karl, you are also a God in, around, on top, underneath and many other ways… among men.
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Ummm. Scarred for life. I’ll be sending an invoice for upcoming therapy.
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Damn. That last pic made my eyes bleed.
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Way funny. I’m with Willie G on this one. I’ll never learn.
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So it appears that in order to have tons of comments on one of your blog posts, you have to do one of three things:
1) Show a picture of some guy’s nutsack on the blog post
2) get Avitable to guest post for you
How much does an Avitable guest post cost and is the backlash worth the shitloads of new comments and traffic that it brings to your site?
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That was just fucking awesome. Great writing, Avitable!!!
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Just catching up. Brilliant. : )
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Hello haha narf, a little concerned is good.
Bec, Karl is a God among the butthole.
Catscratch, Karl has agreed to pay for all therapy.
Jenni, but in a good way, right?
Jeff, that’s what I’m counting on!
Marty, the backlash is always worth the comments!
J, well, great Photoshopping, you mean.
John, thanks!
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