In Retrospect

Thanks to Jessica of Black Belt Mama for guest blogging yesterday. Tomorrow it’s Miss Britt, my quitting partner.

Tomorrow night is another episode of SecondHand Radio. My guest for tomorrow is Brian Papa, who I met at BlogHer last month. Great guy and I hope you’ll join us, listen in, AND call in, too.

Showtime: Thursday, 10pm Eastern time

Show Link: http://www.talkshoe.com/tc/23738

Call-in Number: (724) 444-7444

Call ID: 23738

Don’t forget, too, that there are two shows on Talkshoe tonight that you don’t want to miss.

9pm Eastern – Clearly You’re Retarded with Britt and Adam

10pm Eastern – The Jester Show with Jester!

I also talked last week about the Talkshoe Live client, which you can download here. A number of people listening to SecondHand Radio during the live show weren’t aware there was a downloadable client, so I want to show you what it looks like.

Much different than the web page interface, which also works just fine. You can listen and participate either way, but I prefer Talkshoe Live. You can click on the picture below to view it full-size.

As you can see, the chat interface is very different than the usual scrolling text box that goes from bottom to top. This one scrolls from right to left and is more of a timeline sort of thing. Also, the default setting has whoever chats most recently pop to the top of the screen, so it’s easier to follow who says what when. Nobody gets lost down at the bottom of the screen.

Talkshoe Live also shows you who is on the phone – you can see that two people are on the call at the moment, but muted. I could go on and on about the cool things with Talkshoe Live. I highly recommend you download it and try it for yourself. Before the show begins, of course.

A little disorienting at first, but trust me, it feels a lot more natural once you get used to it.

So I’m two full days into the non-smoking thing and I have to say…it SUCKS. I can’t even describe to you how badly I want a smoke. Just one. Course, it wouldn’t end there. I know I’m addicted hard core, and like an alcoholic, it’s never just one. If it wasn’t for Twitter and email and Britt and the rest of you Quitterati, I would have caved on Day One.

This shit is HARD. Oh well.

My birthday is coming up next month - September 18th. As I mentioned in a recent video post, I am not above asking for birthday presents, cards, whatever. I added a Birthday countdown widget in the sidebar of my blog, along with a link to my Amazon Wishlist. Feel free, y’know, to use it.

With my 3rd Blogiversary coming up on August 25 – for 2HT, anyway – it has gotten me to thinking about previous blogs that led up to this point. I don’t think I have anything from when I was still back in Dallas, aside from the old humor zine I  put out called The Cattle Prod. But I do still have my Blurty and Livejournal accounts, and those go back a ways. Thought I’d pull out some of the old posts and share them here, so you can see how far I’ve come.

Or not.

Here’s the very first entry from my old Blurty blog, which happens to be where I met Hilly way back when.

6th May 2003

6:43pm: Vuja De
Been here before, haven’t I? Course, last time I was journaling via the Web it was 7 years ago when I had my website…way before all this “b-log” stuff became so fashionable. I kept it up for a few years and still have it all somewhere on floppy diskette. (Do you kids know what those are? They were very popular at one time, similar to 8-track tapes for audio.)

Thought I’d start small just to get something up here. Been rather down lately, nothing too new there. I miss Dallas. Miss friends. Miss having a girlfriend. Sheesh, talk about your cookie-cutter malaise.

A great song by the Old 97’s has one of my all-time favorite lyrics:

I’ve thought so much about suicide
parts of me have already died

Beautiful. Friggin’ beautiful.

Current Mood: depressed

16th July 2003

10:47am: Crushing
In this morning’s paper, I discovered that the AD/HD Support Group in town has canceled their meetings for July and August. Guess nobody could remember them.

I get crushes on women far too easily. This is rather obvious, I suppose, but despite knowing this about myself, it doesn’t keep it from happening. The appealing thing about a place like Blurty is that I get to know the personalities of people without first assessing them by their looks. I get little crushes on the women behind the babish looks, without even knowing what most of them look like. I guess it’s because most of the people’s journals I read are rather smart and witty and warped, all the stuff I like in a person.

I don’t mean to elevate myself beyond the shallow end of the pool, because I’m probably just as shallow as most people. I’d like to think I was above such garbage, but I doubt I am. I like a pretty face as much as the next guy. But I don’t think I’m nearly as picky as I was, say, 10 years ago in my far shallower days. I recognize the importance of intellectual and emotional chemistry. After all, the physical stuff won’t be nearly as important when we’re both 90 years old. Still, I get a little weak-kneed when I spy a pretty girl across the room; more so when she glances back my way for a moment or two. I fantasize about what she smells like, how soft her lips are, all that crap. Then gravity pulls me back down to Earth and I spend most of the next hour (sometimes the next day) mentally kicking myself for not going over and talking to her.

I don’t even know what my point is in all this. Crushes. Yeah, they come easily to me. I love the way they feel.

And I despise them at the same time. They whisper of things I can’t have. Or things I’m too afraid to go for.

Hell, what’s the difference?

Current Mood: lonely