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This is my submission for Karl’s Summer of Love. I’m one of Karl’s roommates from TequilaCon and usually hang my hat over at Time Czar. Hope you enjoy it!
Every time we make eye contact, he blushes. I feel hot all over. We play with the eye contact and he burns through me. I watch him looking me over. My thoughts wander to what I think he wants… I know he wants. His mouth quivers.
“Pass the salt?” he says.
I like it when things are ambiguous. It’s kind of auto-erotic, isn’t it? Why be rejected by someone when you can neurotically assume in your head that they are into you? You can go home and be inside your own head with your assumptions.
I have a little crush right now. I’m sure that he is either at home with a tissue box or completely oblivious and that there is no gray area in between. Well, actually, I know what he’s doing: he’s home with a box of tissues because we are all doing that. Every one of us. He might be thinking about me, but that’s none of my business.
See, in my life there is sexuality and there is friendship. I like it when the two intersect. I do NOT like it when the subject of RELATIONSHIP comes up because it usually means that the RELATIONSHIP is actually OVER. If you are in a healthy relationship you are living it, not talking about it. People in healthy relationships have too many things to talk about, such as their unhealthy relationships with other people. When the talk starts I get a feeling in my stomach that might be what people with ulcers feel like.
The best relationships are the ones where people don’t get too into the discourse of why it is or isn’t working because they are too busy having sex, having fun, or having fun having sex. So, yeah, it’s WAY easier to do this in your head, unless you are Karl and reject yourself while trying to whack off in the presence of two unsuspecting female bloggers while drunk in a hotel at Tequila Con. In your head you can be with anyone.
I think the next time I get into a “we need to talk,” conversation, I am going to say, “Ok, but only if we do it naked,” and proceed to take all of my clothes off. Not sure it will work, but what the heck. And if not, hey, I can’t reject myself. And according to me I’m pretty damn good in bed.
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Filed under Guest Post |13 Responses to “I Want You, But Only in My Head”
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Karl rejected himself trying to whack off? how does something like that look, asks the woman with Victorian sensibilities?
Crys: it helps if you are also totally asleep for this endeavor.
[...] Summer of Love Today I’m guest posting over at SecondHand Tryptophan’s Summer of love. Enjoy! [...]
Giggling remembering the re-caps Oh my
I agree that the best relationships are those in which things are happening not just being talked to death.
Once I start talking about the relationship, I tend to get stuck in a rut. Its like whatever is being talked about is all that is happening. I hate that. I like your concept:)
I’m neurotic as hell in bed. I’m like Woody Allen but taller and without all the money.
@Delmer … and you’re in Ohio.
@Becky … yeah, when I hear “We need to talk,” I think, “I think I’ll go for a run now. A long one.”
@Turnbaby … same
@Pocket CT … favorite quote: “I was afraid Jan would wake up and I would lose the bet that Karl wouldn’t do anything creepy!”
@Crys … he was drunk, asleep, and had a headache, so he shouldn’t hold it against himself.
Relationship talk…ugh…it’s the worst. I swear, if I ever get divorced I am never, EVER, having another relationship again.
Except maybe in my head.
Yeah, they have this thing I like to call the Medieval-Torture-Device-of-Relationship-Talk. Another word for it is “Marriage counseling.”
Divorce is just an extended version of this, involving lawyers.
God, I’m probably the only woman who can have a relationship talk AND do it naked and in bed. bwahahaha… However, I’d rather just have hot sex.
It took me a minute to sort out how living in Ohio could lead me to say “I’m neurotic as hell in bed.” And then I realized when I lived in New England I was likely, “wicked neurotic in bed.”
(Another difference: On dessert-topping night she’d always ask me to bring “jimmies” instead of “sprinkles” to bed. The first time she asked it was a little unnerving as I wondered, “Jimmy’s what?” I told her she was going to have to make due with mine.)
People in relationships can still talk about relationships, you know. Sometimes it’s good to do that, so I wouldn’t see that as a kiss of death.
Sometimes when we’re having sex I hit the wall with my fist 3 times. She asks why are you doing that?
I want the neighbors to think we’re having good sex.
What are we having now?