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DutchBitch reporting for duty in 2HT’s Summer of Love! It’s July 12 and my number is up! I am your guest host for today! You bettah believe it!
Hmmm, so let’s take a look around here… Karl did not just invite me to guest post. Knowing I am an organized bitch he also asked me to kinda have a look around and put some order in the chaos that is called Second Hand Tryptophan… Cuz ya know… Karl is not the most organized bitch around… I mean, have you actually had a look around here? Does the man ever clean up his shit?
See, there’s all kinds of Woopra chats lying around… I see magnets, mugs, Tshirts… Pictures of him in compromizing positions with Hilly, Britt, Becky, hey! There’s even one with me on there! OMFG! They must be fake! I’ve never met the guy! Kaaaaaaarrlllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Goddammit!
What else have we got here? Some worn out BlogTalkRadio microphones… Tons of Jury duty summonses … Naked pics of Karl just wearing his Superman cape… Sex party flyers… Oh, and is that a cockring I see lying around there? Oh sorry, make that several cockrings… one with a vibrating part on there even… A silicon headless chick (yeah, he led us to believe he didn’t get one but ob-vi-ous-ly he did).
OK and there’s TequilaCon and BrittCon souvenirs… Oh fuck, I just stepped into his nose hair clippers… Ouch! I’m bleeding!!! * faint *
Hey, empty pizza boxes under the couch there… And wow… an immense collection of blog award and appreciation badges…
Empty Brewster coffee cups… Hmmm… some Guinness cans… and hey! There’s the rest of his Superman outfit… WTF is that doing on the kitchen counter? Ooohw and is that his cellphone there? *peeking at Karl’s private txt messages* *SHOCK*
There’s his crown hanging from the chandelier… Funny thing, Karl never struck me as royalty but I guess he is…
Let’s go raid his bedroom… OMFG! There’s anonymized boobie shots all around his bed!!! Girls, you did realize this when he came at you with his camera at boobie level, did ya? Dirty boxers… does the man do no laundry either? Holy shit!!! Oh, there’s some acupuncture needles… Interesting… I thought they were all taken out before you go home from therapy..
I wonder what is in his bathroom cabinet… Let’s take a look… Holy Crap! It’s full of bottles of Phallus! Phallus Clean, Phallus Slut, and Phallus Dirty!!!
Gawd Damn! How am I ever gonna get order in this 2HT chaos!? I should’ve known what I got myself into when he asked me about that….
OK, there is just one way to do this… I am dragging all this shit outside… ALL of it!!!
We are having a Karl sale!
Spread the word! Spread it! Anything and everything to the highest bidder! Anyone for a cockring? Boobie shots? A 2HT mug? A Superman suit? It’s been worn before but it’s still in mint condition… Seriously! I promise!!! And yeah yeah yeah, I’ll let you lick my stiletto heels… IF you buy something…
- 100 Things About Karl, Part Eight...Where Karl Reveals One of His Larger Secrets...Stores and Radio and Stuff...
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Filed under Guest Post |17 Responses to “We’re having a Karl Sale!”
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Hey, how did you get in here! My place is…is…CLEAN. I can’t find shit!
I’m just kidding, it’s still a disaster area.
Yay! How much is Karl on sale for?
I’ll take two Karls and a large Diet Coke, please.
I’ll bid on the …. crown….
I’ll take the cockring!
Oh wait. I don’t have a cock. Nevermind
Karl: It should be empty in there now that I hauled everything on to the yard outside… You mean to say there is more shit left in there?
SJ: Karl? On sale? Karl could never be on sale… Right?
Avi: To go?
Sybil: OK, how much can I put you down for?
Penny: Well, you can wear it as a regular ring.. or maybe a necklace?
my mind is normally in the gutter, so could you not say “spread it” so forcefully? thanks.
my place is a mess as it is and you want me to take all of karl’s crap? fine. i’ll take one of the k’s, please. there are no c’s, so i will take ONE of the k’s.
what do i owe you? (please, please don’t say i gotta lick a boot coz i can’t do it.)
We have to pay for this stuff?? Shouldn’t Karl (with a K) be paying US to get rid of the evidence for him? ;o)
Heh I just thought, Karl With A K spells KWAK - I kwak myself up sometimes!!
Heh heh…… I love to clean…. but after hearing about that mess I would have to pause and tryto think, “Is it worth it?”
5 cents for a mug.
LOL @ Penelope you and KWAK.
But what has really struck me is that you said Karl’s cock ring could be used as a necklace…That would mean that Karl’s cock is….oh wow!
I would like one Karl-with-a-K and the green stress balls from Chinatown. I’m dealing with a week’s worth of corporate stress at work and I really need those not-blue balls.
Does the price include shipping and handling?
I want a picture of Karl naked in the Superman cape.
Blondefabulous - You love to clean? How close are you to Indiana? Seriously….
J.
Hey, the phallus stuff in the medicine cabinet is mine. So is the extra toothbrush.
How much for Karl’s cellphone?
And, I’ll give you 5 bucks for the crown.
*Puts $20 in her wallet and heads over to Karl’s as fast she can*
hello haha narf: “Spread it!”
Penelope: LOL, crazy English bitch!
blondefabulous: Worth it? It’s Karl! Nuff said
Lady Jaye: Well, what would you expect from a guy that wears a Supermansuit every day?
Little Miss Sunshine State: Umm… explain “handling”?
Hoosier Girl: Well, that picture is private… I can’t be sharing that with just anyone you know… Ummm.. You know, IF I would have one… *cough*
Whit: You apply Phallus with a tootbrush?
Dragon: Depends… do you want all the comprimizing text messages that are on there included? Cuz that would seriously up the prize…
BlondeBlogger: Hurry Girl!
LMAO!!!!
You RAWK sugar!