In honor of the fabulous Karl’s Summer Lovin’ guest posting fest – which I’m quite happy to be part of – I decided it would be a good idea to help the blogosphere get some summer lovin’. Because if it’s good enough for Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta? Well, it’s good enough for me.
At first, I thought about listing some tips & tricks…and then I realized that it was much more fun to tell people what NOT to do. Solutions? Too much work when my brain is melting. But the “what not to do” was easy – and really, was/is more of a “what not to wear,” which began when a good friend of mine expressed his love of Jorts (aka, denim man-shorts) to me and my friends, and we gasped in horror.
And so the text message survey was born (results listed below); we asked a variety of people, “What do you think of denim shorts on men? Would you forbid your boyfriend from wearing them (or if you’re a straight guy, would you wear them?)?. And the survey says:
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“Quick poll of 4 peeps here: only if he’s a super hot construction worker in a diet coke ad”
“Are they frayed? Wait, that doesn’t matter. NO.”
“Forbidden! No, no, a thousand times no.”
“No, but only because I can’t control my sexual impulses when I see a man in jorts (eww).”
“Just saw your text – HAH! Jorts (jean shorts, obv) are unacceptable unless for costume purposes”
“It’s totally okay…if they come with knee socks.”
“Yes. I would forbid it.”
“Jean shorts BAD.”
“Jean shorts on anyone is pretty uncool. Unless you’re trying to be ironic. Who’s wearing them?”
“Just like the mock turtleneck, they should be banned.”
“Um, hello, 1990. Yeah, no.”
“Knee length unacceptable in any situation…cut offs oddly sexy on a country boy, a la dukes of hazard”
“I’m scared. Just to complete the picture, please describe the shoes. And belt, if any?” [me: would anything make it better/worse?] “Absolutely not! But I was trying to think REAL hard about what I would wear with them…ya know…if I was FORCED to. And everything I imagined made ‘em even worse.”
“Unacceptable except in a 1980s period piece”
“Not even a little bit okay”
“I would have to say NEVER”
“No jean shorts in almost any instance. Gross.”
“Worn un-ironically?”
“I have forbidden my boyfriend from wearing them! But if it’s a first date there is some wiggle room.”
“Only in a hipster way. Dockers, NO NO”
“Definitely a ‘no’ in my opinion”
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Tell me: what’s your summer lovin’ clothing deal-breaker? Or is the very presence of clothing a deal-breaker…?
I just don’t wear clothes in the summer. It’s easier.
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I am going to 2 80’s parties in August and plan on Jorts as the main theme of my costume!
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Whew! Glad I’m on the right side of fashion (for once). I did wear them a lot in the 80s, but hey, it was the 80s! Even mullets were cool back then.
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Anything involving a “texas tuxedo” look (ie, denim bottom and denim top, regardless of whether or not they match), is a definite no.
Sandals with socks (I mean, really?)
Mesh shirts.
Exposed midrif on men.
Cut off sweatpants, or even worse, ZUBAS.
Yes, I’ve seen all these looks while walking around in DT Mpls. We got style in the midwest.
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Wife beaters on men – no matter how hot or not – ew ew eewwww.
Jessican took my other one – sandals with socks.
Except, I hate most sandals, period, on men.
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Since I was part of that poll, you already know that I am a HELL to the NO on that one.
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Denim shirts are also the huge suck.
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I’m with the double-denim thing. No no no no no. Even jeans and a denim jacket are the suck.
Wife beaters too (go Sybil).
Dockers shorts are also the devil. I’m not sure how much I like men in pleats. Can they all just wear jeans that make their asses look cute?
Yes, I am *that* girl
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My husband wears Jorts. But it’s OK, we’re old, dammit.
Guys-don’t wear shorts and sandals.
Girls- I don’t want to see your butt cheeks peeking out of your too-short-shorts.
KARL:Did the earth move for you today?
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Little Miss Sunshine – The Earth DID move today.
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My boyfriend in shorts. ANY shorts. Just no. It’s a frightening sight.
And, bikini tops on people that should NOT be wearing them. And that equals like 99% of the world’s population.
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Sandals with socks, on men or women. Especially with men. Yuck.
Sandals that are about 500 years old on feet that are crusty and stained.
Women (or men) that wear shirts that expose their belly, especially when they are wearing low-rise jeans and said belly hangs out several inches. (I probably wouldn’t have thought about this one but a young woman walked out of her work place, right in front of me, dressed like that).
You could do about 100 episodes of “What Not to Wear” in our very small town.
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Well that just screwed up my entire summer wardrobe. Thanks a pantload!
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