Well, I called the Federal District Court jury line and I’m not needed on Monday. But I have to be on-call for two weeks, so I’ll be calling that number every night for a couple of weeks, apparently.
I signed up with Plurk.com a few days ago. It’s a Twitter-like social networking site. I tried it. Meh. I’m not impressed. I’ve over it already. That’s what Twitter is for. Don’t waste your time, I say. And FFS quit Twittering about Plurk, will you?
The last few nights have been fraught with off-and-on sleeping. Probably too much caffeine. At any rate, I feel pretty brain dead. This doesn’t take much, to make me feel “off,” but it’s one of those things where I get a hundred little projects started and none of them seem to get finished.
I am NOT a handyman. That’s no secret. I’m trying to fix a freaking shelf in the pantry. It’s one of those wire shelves and it’s bulging down on the right side. This requires that I take every fucking thing off the damn shelf, just so I can add a couple of specialized Closet Maid hookie things to better support the right side of the shelf. THIS requires that I use tools, and therein lies the problem.
I know what a hammer is, and I know the two kinds of screwdrivers (flathead and “starry end”). But get beyond that and I’m pretty much screwed. I need to use a cordless drill and an awl to make holes for the molly thingies to go into the wall. I spent way too much time on this yesterday and got virtually nowhere except frustrated.
Now I’m gonna have to take the damn shelf OFF THE WALL so I can get the stupid little hook thingies into the wall. Bob Villa could have had this project done in 10 minutes. Fucker.
Can you believe that I’m the same guy who used to work on multimillion dollar radar systems in the Air Force? Yeah, me neither.
Last night at dinner there was some clown walking through the restaurant with those droopy drawers, you know, where the ass and crotch of the pants is down near the ankles? Morons. Clue: there are these things called belts. Try them out. I’ll never get the idiots that wear those jeans so they’re falling off their ass. Never. First thing I think when I see those guys? STUPID.
Much like I feel whenever I see someone riding a motorcycle without a helmet. STUPID. I don’t give a damn what your justification is. “I need to feel the wind in my hair,” etc. Whatever. How about feeling the asphalt in your fucking SKULL, moron?
Can you tell I’m a little wonky? Testy? Sleep-deprived?
I’m usually pretty patient, but times like this? Trust me, you don’t want to be a moron around me right now.
“I know the two kinds of screwdrivers (flathead and “starry end”). But get beyond that and I’m pretty much screwed.”
Pun intended?
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I’ve been picked twice to possibly sit in on Jury Duty, though wasn’t needed either time. I’m a bit bummed about that as I’d like to have the opportunity to experience that.
My sister was a juror for a local murder. After it was over and done with, she was amazed at how people went about ‘choosing’ if the person was guilty or innocent….everything from “he just *looked* like he was guilty. wtf??
Anyway, I hope you get the rest that you so obviously need…..Wonky-man!
~ZZ
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at first i thought you were just at a ‘family friendly’ restaurant, and that they actually had a real clown walking around.
but, no. i think you mean a jackass who doesn’t know how to dress himself.
you know, i like to fancy myself a pretty tolerant person, but i find that i’m EXTREMELY judgmental about the saggy pants.
i also have a problem with the basesball hats that get ‘jaumtily’ tipped to one side, and not placed fully on the head. you know, they’re more sort of resting on top of the head, in no sort of secure position at all.
forward baseball cap? i may want to make out with you, depending on what team you’re wearing.
backward baseball cap? as long as you’re even somewhat attractive, i find this SUPER HOT, MOST OF THE TIME.
baseball cap sitting precariously atop your head, as if a mere sneeze could send it flying?
you’re a jackass. and your pants probably need to be pulled up.
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I can so relate to the sleep thing, as it’s 2:15 and I am still awake. This is AFTER taking an AmbienCR about 2 hours ago. I am watching my son play XBox Live. Why are he and I always the two people in the house who cannot sleep? We go to bed late and we’re up early. I’m off on a tangent. Sorry.
The Plurk thing? I went over and looked at the sign up page and didn’t think it looked worth signing up for. I’m established (hee hee) at Twitter anyway.
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Sleep deprived? Testy? Wonky? Nah… it’s not showing at all… Besides, those are all things that I could get worked up about too… Except if the guy the pants are falling off is a hottie…
I was wondering what all the Plurk stuff was about. OK, I’ll not go there. I know if you don’t like it, I won’t like it… Thanks for testing it out…
Smooch! Now go to sleep!!!
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Does it help any if you picture Bob Vila with his head getting crushed in a vise?
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You better rest up before New York.
I’m not a good person to be around when you’re trying to avoid random stupidity and morons. Really.
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First, because I really, really can’t help myself, molly screws suck ass. See if you can find something at your hardware store called an “EZ Anchor.” (If html doesn’t work in these comments, just trust me.) All you need is a hammer and a starry end screwdriver and a very, very small amount of common sense (but not much).
As for the sleep thing, I feel ya. If I don’t get at least 7 hours of sleep in a night, I am a completely different person the next day. Like Jekyll and Hyde.
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Yeah, I tried the whole ’saggy pants’ thing. Like when I was 8 months old.
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My ’starry end’ smells like bougainvilleas.
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“Starry end” screwdrivers. LOL. Karl, if you lived closer, I’d help you out. I can be pretty handy and even have some of my own tools. Plus I look hotter than a dude in a tool belt.
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Yeah, I thought “starry end” was funny too. I’m the only person in my office (if you discount the maintenance manager) who has tools. I have a computer tools kit. Everyone wants to use my needle nose pliers.
I’ve been cranky too lately so I know how you feel. On the upside, it’s a lot of fun picking on people. If you were already here in SoCal we could go sit at Starbucks and make fun of all the buttheads.
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I completely agree with you about guys wearing those ridiculous low riding pants. The other night at dinner, a guy and his date walked in wearing those pants and we could see his boxers. They were white, tattered and covered with shamrocks. I turned to my friend and said that they must be his lucky boxers!
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“Starry end”?
I love home repair & building things.
One day I am going to get smacked, because one day I no longer be able to fight the urge to come up behind those guys with the saggy pants and hike them up.
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Re: “Saggy Pants”
Ya know, it’s really kinda funny, though it appears to be a ‘fashion statement’, I bet if you asked most kids from that culture, the origins of it, I’d say about 90% wouldn’t have a clue.
For those of us (myself included) not from that ‘era’, it originated in prisons. Inmates are not allowed to have belts for fear of hanging themselves, so their pants naturally sagged.
It also was around the same time when rappers were going to jail and still making mega bucks from their *melodious melodies* and infamous notiarity.
~ZZ
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Bob Villa was/is totally a fucker.
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i am so with supertiff about the baseball hat thing! LOVE the hat backwards, but crooked just makes me wanna punch people in the face.
hate that i am not close enough to help with your little project. i’ve got plenty of tools (twks).
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Amanda – totally intended.
Greeneyezz – Yeah, I’m sure that’s true. I guess the difference between juries and grand juries is that you decide if the case warrants going to trial, not whether the person is guilty or not.
Supertiff – I’m with you on the baseball caps. I guess I don’t really like anything that deliberately looks *wrong*.
Shelli – I think I’m a vampire.
DutchBitch – Plurk is totally overrated. I may post about it and why I don’t like it, but for now, you made the right choice.
Janna – It helps a great deal.
Miss Britt – I will be rested and ready to snark for NYC.
Steve – Oh, sure, NOW you tell me about the EZ Anchor. Job is finally finished.
Whall – that’s the only time when it’s acceptable.
N. Francesca – I have no idea how to take that remark. I’m taking it dirtily, though.
Stacey – I bet you’d look hotter than a dude OUTSIDE a tool belt, too.
Winter – Ah, computers I know. I have computer tools. It’s the “real world” stuff I have trouble with.
Dragon – Ugh. I do not want to see underwear, especially on people I don’t want to sleep with.
ACG – Just be sure you’re being filmed when you do it, please.
Greeneyezz – Interesting, though it doesn’t matter to me where it originated, so much as where it STOPS.
Shamelessly Sassy – Amen.
Hello – I hate that you’re not close enough, too.
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I let my wife do all the handyman work in the house.
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I signed up for that plunkered plerkered thingy too. eeeh, not impressed. I like twitter, as annoying as it is because it is ALWAYS down, I like it. It works well with all my other gizmos and gadgets that I have signed up for.
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Avitable – Smart man.
DaDuck – Same here.
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I’ll be damned if I had a clue why anyone would voluntarily want to wear their pants like that. The stupid thing is they have to walk like a fucking duck because they have to keep their legs spread apart to keep them from falling down around their ankles. I just laugh out loud every time I see some moron walking around like that.
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Jeff – me, too. I just don’t understand it.
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“Much like I feel whenever I see someone riding a motorcycle without a helmet. STUPID. I don’t give a damn what your justification is. “I need to feel the wind in my hair,” etc. Whatever. How about feeling the asphalt in your fucking SKULL, moron?”
Made me spit coffee. I need to get around you when you’re in one of those moods. Love it.
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zchamu – I’m in another mood so look out.
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