An Icepick in My Left Temple Should Do It
I’ve had this nagging headache since Friday and it’s about to make me insane. Ibuprofen are like M&M’s to me right now. Thank God that at least touches the headache, but it’s in my left temple and hurts like a bastard. Yes, a bastard hurts very much, if you must know.
Lord help me, because I have a suspicion that it’s dentally-related and that would suck big time. Yeah, no dental insurance. I’m really insecure about my teeth. They’re all kinds of fucked up because I haven’t taken care of them like I should. Cracks, stains…just blecch. If you asked me what one thing I could change about myself it’d be my smile. I hate it. I’d love to get implants but that’s just not in the financial cards.
Any dentists reading this that want to be gloriously philanthopic, I’ll take you up on that and plug the hell out of you on my blog. I’m not above that in the least.
Another big thanks to Lisa for being my special guest yesterday on SecondHand Radio. As usual, you can visit the page and listen to the show there, download it to listen to on your computer, even search for SecondHand Radio in iTunes and download it there.
We talked about a lot of things…music, shaving our heads, the power of Bloggity Goodness, and even what the hell happens to our blogs after we’re dead. That last one is a topic I was discussing with Britt this morning, while we were making out on her patio and drinking coffee.
Just what DOES happen to my blog when I die? Yeah, Lisa’s situation got the topic started, but it’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to in the last couple of months. In the modern era, I think we need to consider our online life when we’re considering and making out our wills. Hell, I haven’t done up a will since I was still married. Not good.
My mom wouldn’t have a freaking clue what to do with my laptop should I die. I’m seriously thinking I need to write down all of my passwords and include them in my will. I’ve already taken the first step of giving Hilary admin access to my blog. I plan on writing a really rocking post (perhaps more than one) to be released after my death. Maybe post “from beyond the grave” a couple of times a year, I don’t know.
Lisa has tentatively decided (on last night’s show, in fact) to give me Power of Blog for Clusterfook. I was surprised she asked me, but I’m honored to do that for her. The Power of Blog is a name she came up with…just a blogging power of attorney, really. I think it’s apropos. I pray I never have to implement the power.
God forbid I wind up in the hospital in a coma (because I think that’s what it would take) and can’t get to a computer to say what’s going on. My mom doesn’t know any of my friend’s phone numbers. I should probably remedy that situation, too. At least she can look them up on my cell phone, I suppose. But now Hilary can post on my blog in the event of my convalescence (or worse). Once she KNOWS I’m laid up, anyway.
Weird, isn’t it? Thinking about this shit? Is it morbid? I don’t know. Maybe. But as I said to Lisa last night, life is terminal. I don’t care HOW fucking healthy you are…you ARE going to die. Just a question of when.
Lisa’s got me thinking about my affairs and wrapping them up for contingency’s sake. God help anyone that has to clean up the disaster that is my bedroom. In fact, I apologize in advance to anyone that finds my sex toys. I never use them, I swear. *cough*
So I had a wonderful weekend at Britt’s house, just chilling with her and Becky and the kids. And Britt’s pretty boy husband, too. He’s one of those annoying pretty boys that doesn’t KNOW he’s a pretty boy. I hate that. If you’re going to be a pretty boy, at least have the common decency to be a DICK.
Britt kept apologizing for (1) being sick, (2) having a messy house (which she didn’t), and (3) not DOING anything while Becky and I were there. But I think she and I have very different ideas about what is fun. Like I said last week in a post, it’s all about relationships with me. The older I get, the more I keep chanting that mantra. I don’t care about STUFF (except my computer. And my Wii. And my Tivo.), I care about PEOPLE. Hanging out just shooting the shit and relaxing is COOL.
When I first became a Christian in the 90’s, I had this really longwinded convoluted definition for life. The older I get, though, the simpler my philosophy becomes.
Life is sex. Oh, wait…sorry, no. Sometimes that shit just pops in there.
Anyway, the point of life is love. Period.
It’s relationships. I don’t care who you are, whether you believe in God or you don’t, whether you’re rich or poor, the point of life is relationships. You’re not going to be laying on your death bed thinking, “I wish I had more money.” You’re going to be there, hoping that you were a good person, wanting to have the people you care about surrounding you…visiting, calling, reading you the latest blog drama at your bedside. Whatever.
You bitches better ALL visit me when I’m on MY death bed, I can tell you that right now. I want phone calls, but I really want you to come and see me. If I’m going to entertain you every day (and even from beyond the grave) the least you can fucking do is come see me. I’m just sayin’.
Here are a few pictures from some of MY relationships this past weekend.
Britt making the fabulous Brittinis (vodka and Crystal Light). I’m not saying I had a lot of them, but I’m not saying I didn’t. In fact, I’m particularly emphasizing the fact that I’m NOT saying that.
This is Britt’s Sex Face.
There’s Mini-Britt, Becky, and Devin at the pool. There are other shots on Britt’s Flickr page, of course.
This is how we spent the bulk of our night(s), sitting out on the patio, making out and shooting the shit. That’s Britt and Pretty Boy. Jared, I think his name is. Whatever.
That’s Mini-Britt again. She’s sitting there saying, “Look how fucking cute I am, Kawoo! I’m ADORABLE! You can’t kill me just because I wake you up every morning at 6am because you know I’m going to get all cute and pose with Minnie Mouse ears on the table! I’m cute thousands of times a DAY!” Wench is right.
And there’s the kids in their new fort Sunday morning, the one that Aunt Becky made for them.
I love kids. I do. Wasn’t always the case. But even when I couldn’t STAND children, they always have loved me. I don’t know why. I’m like a kid magnet.
I wish I were a CHICK magnet.
Filed under 2HRadio, Travel, Weblogs | Comments (49)49 Responses to “An Icepick in My Left Temple Should Do It”
Leave a Reply
It’s funny that the subject of what happens to your blog if something happens to you came up. I’ve actually been thinking of this a lot lately. Prolly because my body doesn’t feel well and I worry about the people at the Bar who rely on me for the their place to write and continue the story.
I guess Motley has my Power of Blog since she knows all my passwords. I’ve told her to just shut down everything but winterheart.com because the Bar writers need it. And I told her my friend Jen would totally help her to pay for it if something happened to me. I guess I sorta have it in order.
Oh, and kids ARE a chick magnet. You should totally have take mini-Britt to the grocery store or mall.
Reply
Holy crap, I just managed to eat the funniest comment ever by forgetting to put my name & address in before hitting “submit”. I’m retarded.
Oh, well. Next time.
Reply
It IS kind of morbid, but it’s also a fact of life and something that should definitely be taken care of.
I’m sooo jealous you got to hang out with Miss Britt and Avitable and all of them this weekend. How cool is that??? To meet the bloggers you read every day and form… deeper relationships like that? LOVE it! You guys look like you had a blast.
Several parts of your post cracked me up!
She has a beautiful family and you’ve got beautiful friends, Karl.
And the commentary on Mini-Britt was hilarious! Somebody has got you wrapped around her little finger, don’t they!?
Glad you had a great weekend, Karl
.
Reply
Karl, very well written post. Just got into reading Clusterfook too and I love how you both write in such blunt, unapologetic yet beautiful ways.
Reply
Winter – Absolutely NO ONE has my passwords. I’ve always been rather rabid about protecting them. But there are people I’d trust with them. Hilly, primarily.
Tracy – I demand that you rewrite that hilarious comment, dammit!
Amber – Am I *that* transparent? Oh hell YES, she has me wrapped around her finger! And I’m very fortunate that I live within driving distance of Britt and Adam. I highly recommend searching for bloggers in your area, whether you do it through Google or Twitter. I have made AMAZING friendships through blogging.
MaryLeigh – Why, thank you. ‘Tis the only way to be, as far as I’m concerned. Those people that I allow closest to me are very much the same in that regard. We wear our blogs on our sleeves…or something like that.
Reply
Really enjoyed the show with you and Clusterfook. I found myself nodding my head a few times thinking ” Oh yeah. I know about that.”
After my Tooth Of Doom Incident I started a notebook with passwords and info for my Mom to take care of. Just in case. Learned the hard way.
You’re right, Britt’s kids are adorable! I’m glad you had a good time!
Reply
I really think you have a sinus headache. Whenever you drink alcohol it affects your sinuses and that pain shoots all the way to your teeth. Seriously. If you got some sinus medicine that also has pain reliever in it I bet the problem would be solved.
Dr. Clusterfook in the house, YO!
Reply
Elfenkate – glad you liked the show. I enjoyed it, too. Smart idea, keeping a notebook. I have SO many. I’ll have to give something with my passwords on it to my mom, I guess.
Lisa – Sinus headache, really? Well, it started BEFORE the drinking, so I don’t know. Luckily, I have a doctor appointment in, oh, 3 hours. Why am I still awake?
Reply
I don’t know if you’ve tried this already, but maybe putting an ice pack on your head and laying down for awhile? I get migraines something fierce and the ice pack usually helps.
I hope the doctor today figures out what is going on and cures that headache of yours
Great post and it gave me a lot of food for thought. I’ve never thought of any of this “power of blog” stuff. Maybe I should?
Britt’s kids are so freaking adorable! Looks like ya’ll had a great time!
Reply
Karl,
One thing I have learned is no matter how well you plan for after your death it is never enough. There are a million things the ones that are left have to deal with. Ken left over 20 pages of “instructions”. 18 months later and I am still trying to figure out how to deal/handle/”what do I do with this” shit….it never seems to end…
Reply
*I* had fun! I was just worried YOU guys didn’t!
And Jared can totally be a dick, if that makes you feel any better. Trust me.
Reply
WRATH OF KHAN!!!!!!
ARGHBARGHBARGHBARGH!
(That was in reference to the ice pick thing.
… why doesn’t anyone get my jokes?
And why did you just FREAKY FRIDAY ME?! It’s MONDAY!)
Reply
If I find out that I’m dying, I want my friends to gather at my bedside and consume large amounts of alcohol and tell stories about the funny things that we did and how much they love me. With that in mind I have decided not to lose weight. If I’m going to waste away to nothing, I want to have time for my long distance friends to get to me. Food and drink for everyone, I say!
Reply
Sodapop – I think ALL of us need to think about the Power of Blog. It’s a sobering thought, but better sooner than later. And I’ll try the ice pack if the Tylenol Sinus doesn’t work.
Charlene – Wow, your husband sounds like me. I’m totally going to leave a novel in my will. And people better follow it to the LETTER!
Miss Britt – Oops, Jared. I’ll fix the spelling.
Reply
Poppy – I have no idea what you’re talking about. Freaky Friday you? I didn’t. Don’t mess with me, I’m operating on 90 minutes of sleep.
Been There, Done That – well, I have plenty of fat to live off of for a while. Course, if I get hit by a Mack truck, nobody will have time to get to me.
Reply
When I showed up to the blog a minute-ish ago a Woopra window popped up saying “HAPPY FRAKKING FRIDAY” or whatever it says. I clicked it and it said connection closed.
Reply
Oh shit! Why do you have to get me thinking about what will happen to my blog when I pass, and on a Monday even!!!! I have enough problems! My husband, (who thinks blogging is a hot, steaming load!), wouldn’t know what to do with my blog, not that he could get to it to post about my inevitable demise. Sheesh….. and George Carlin has gone from this world too??? This is a Monday that just royally sucks!
Oh….. and I hope you feel better man!
Reply
Poppy – Weird, must have been a leftover from Friday.
Blondefabulous – I know, George Carlin. Totally blows that he’s dead.
Reply
You mean I coulda won another prize if I’d stayed longer on Friday?
Oh, crying tears now… tears!
Reply
I need to write my death post, too. I plan on making sure that my domain name and hosting are paid for in perpetuity, too.
Reply
Poppy – No, I don’t think you would have won a prize. Aside from chatting with me, of course.
Avitable – I’ve been wondering about that. Like how can I continue paying for my blog after I’m gone?
Reply
I am happy to sit around with my friends and not do anything. We don’t even have to talk a lot. I just feel comfortable and peaceful around them.
As for posting after you are dead (and this might have already been mentioned by a previous commenter — I’m pressed for time to go through them … but not read this entry … go figure) there was a story in the news this past Christmas about a guy who had Christmas cards sent out after he died. He’d given them to his barber to mail after his death and would keep give the barber a bit more money when postal rates went up. The guy was known as a joker and the cards started something like, “I’ll bet you didn’t expect a card from me this year.”
Reply
Delmer – That’s pretty funny. I’ll bet he surprised a lot of people.
Reply
Ice Pack, Karl. Not Ice Pick.
Reply
Dragon – I don’t know, the ice PICK sounds pretty attractive when my head is throbbing.
Reply
Hi,secoundhand just hope you feel better soon you have my number call sometime this is mark lol
Reply
Well, make sure you’re affairs are in order before you try that remedy.
Reply
My sister can always hijack my blog if she needs to as she’s the only family member who knows about it – I guess if I’m gone then it won’t matter any more!
The pictures are great – what a fab weekend!
PS. Rmour has it that you are indeed a chick magnet ;o)
Reply
Nice. : )
Reply
Not morbid at all. Just good planning, plain and simple. My husband is fucked if he ever has to access my stuff. I may have to make a file folder for him. Just in case.
Reply
If anything happened to me… I have a few friends who know my myspace info and all… Dunno about the blog. It would be my mom, at least for now.
Reply
I am listening to the show right now. Thanks for telling me that I can get it in iTunes. I’m just listening to it on BTR right now, but I like to put them on my iPod for listening to them at the gym.
I have to say that the whole thing about Power of Blog has me thinking. I don’t even have a real will. Please don’t yell at me. I really need to get my shit together about that whole thing. My husband is dragging his feet on it, too. Periodically, one of us will say, “We need to get a will” and the other one will say, “Yeah, I know.” But we never do anything.
Headache? I’m with ya. Mine started Saturday.
Reply
Awesome show!
Reply
Somehow this is like a dubious honor for me. But still, I am glad to be the one you trust to do it
.
Reply
Mark – hey man. Sorry I wasn’t around for your calls. I was busy hibernating a headache away.
Dragon – I’ve already given the Power of Blog to Hilly, so…
Penelope – those rumors are greatly exaggerated.
John – Yeah, it was a great time.
Not Afraid – Yep, I think that’s a very good idea.
Motley – well, have SOMEONE, for sure. Hell, you’re a young thang, but none of us ever knows when our number will come up.
Shelli – I’m not going to yell at you, but with kids, I think wills are CRUCIAL. You don’t want to entrust that shit to chance, or even to the whim of whoever.
Hilly – It’s not dubious in the least. You’ll get to read all of my dead posts before anyone else!
Reply
I love the Kawoo bit and really I agree, there is nothing better than spending an afternoon or an evening catching up with friends.
Not sure about blogging and death. Just not sure at all… Hmmmmm….
Reply
when mom got sick a few years ago i made both a living will and a last will & testament. weird. funny, all i was worrying about was who would take the dogs. and who got which awesome piece of jewelry. guess i figured the executor that i named would take care of selling the house & vehicles.
but i didn’t have a blog then! important stuff! actually, jester still has admin rights, but i should come up with some sort of “i’ll be watching you fuckers from beyond so be excellent to each other” kinda final post.
i had a terrific time this weekend as well. you certainly added to the weekend and i really appreciated you making the drive. (but did you have to post a photo of me in a bathing suit?? with a beer??!?!!)
seems i failed miserably at explaining to britt that i loved the low key weekend. and i appreciated that she had the kids scatter a few toys around right before i got there so that i felt at home in her otherwise phenomenal home. and i love that she didn’t mind me building a fort with the kids…did you see that we even got an upside down laundry basket table in there?!?!? wahoo!)
so, back to you! what did the doc say? how’s the headache now, kawool?
Reply
holy fucking long comment, batman!
sorry!
Reply
Hmmmm, headache. Sugar levels okay? Not like you don’t already know this, but alcohol is totally sugar.
I’m a buzz kill, aren’t I?
So much fun.
Kids = Chick Magnet.
I’m just saying.
Reply
Nat – That’s really the point. We don’t THINK about it, but we ought to.
Hello – Yeah, Jester has admin rights to my blog, too. I loved the low-key weekend. Just what the doctor ordered. And I couldn’t have asked for better company. Oh, and I didn’t SEE the doctor. It was just a bloodwork appointment. So I went and took Lisa’s advice, picked up some Tylenol Sinus on the way home and it seems to have done the trick.
Mattie – Are you really my MOM?
Reply
You haven’t quit caffeine lately have you? That always gives me terrible headaches when I forget to have my coffee.
Looks like fun. I think you guys should come visit me.
Reply
BBM – I never forget to drink coffee. Ever. I’d LOVE to visit you. I had way too much fun hanging with you in Philly. You’re a blast.
Reply
Kid magnet is a good jumping off point for chick magnet. So are puppies.
Here’s a question I’ve always had… will anyone know to contact your Power of Blog person should the need arise? Or will it be like when I travel and I worry that if the plane crashes nobody will remember to get the dogs from “camp”? I’m just wondering because I should probably make arrangements too.
Reply
Finn – Yeah, I’ve told my mom that Hilly has my Power of Blog. I’ve given her Hilly’s phone number and email address. I need to give Hilly my mom’s cell number, too.
Reply
Don the Minnie Mouse ears and the women will swoon I tell ya!
Reply
Cheesy – I tried that this weekend. The only woman swooning over me was 2 years old. That’s a good 10 years below my cutoff point.
Reply
Being a chick magnet is a lot more work than being a kid magnet, at least that’s what the last chick magnet told me.
Reply
Martymankins – I wouldn’t know.
Reply
[...] read the full article [...]