The first year I went to BlogHer I was liveblogging the event, so it forced me into the mix of things rather quickly. But it also kept me busy since I had to act professional to a certain degree; thus, I had a need to be there.

If you ever make it to TequilaCon I’ll show you the ropes.

Dude, I could have written that myself. High five, INFP brotha. It always amazes people when I tell them I am an introvert, as apparently I do a really good job of not showing it. If I actually get out there and start talking to people, I am pretty good at carrying a conversation. But oh, the effort it takes to actually get me OUT there is gargantuan.

As a result, I’m still uncomfortable at places like BlogHer. Even though I love it and think they’re wonderful events, I have a really hard time with them because - again, exactly like you said - the good bounces right off me, and every bad (or perceived bad) sinks right in. If I meet someone and they’re wonderful and lovely, but then I see them sitting and laughing with a group of people later at a social event, approaching them is basically impossible. I was probably the only person at the rooftop reception last year in Chicago who wasn’t talking to anybody for the longest time and instead was just hanging out taking pictures of the lake and the city, because I just had no idea how to walk over to a table and say Hi, I’m Shannon, can I sit down and have fun with you? The potential for rejection is far too overwhelming, far too frightening. Unless I get a really positive reaction from someone, I feel like I’m an intruder and I extract myself as quickly as possible.

So I guess my point of all this is - clique is the wrong word for it, but at any event there are always self-forming groups of people who can be perceived as being self sufficient as a group. There is nothing wrong with this: in fact, it’s exactly what everyone wants to have happen, it’s called “fun”. Whenever I am on the inside of one of these groups, I really make a point of trying to be welcoming to those who approach, because I know how tough it is to be the approacher. Not everyone does make that effort, and I do wish more people would.

I love your last point: when you’re in, you’re just in. You have nothing to prove anymore. I need to remember that.

Stacey - Aw, you’re such a sweetheart. The check’s in the mail.

Shelli - I suspect TequilaCon is the beginning to a cure.

Iron Fist - thanks, dude! Great hanging with you, as expected.

Hello - Aw, thanks. It’s one thing to express yourself online…totally different to do it offline, though.

SJ - Sure, I’ll be your therapist, though it might mess you up more than it helps. If other people don’t like you tell ‘em to screw off.

Next year, I’m going to overcome my initial shyness by approaching all the shy folk hiding in the corners. But … what if they don’t like me and won’t talk back?

xoxo, becky

As for Sarah and Cecily? I was totally the opposite. I have known Sarah forever and she has helped me through some really rough times. But, to me, Cecily is like Dooce is to some people. She was one of my first reads. To me, she is a real icon of blogging. I feel like I gushed over her so much that I may have hurt Sarah’s feelings.

Of course, that could all be between my ears, too. I think I totally get you, Karl. I try to fit in, but never quite feel like I do.