Let’s Twist Again…

Big love going out to Miss Britt, who is now in Iowa visiting with friends and family after the devastating tornado hit her hometown the other day. If you want to help out, you can donate to the Red Cross in her area…here’s the link. They also show other ways you can help.

I just can’t imagine having everything I own disappear into the ether. I talked to Britt on the phone early yesterday morning. She was doing okay after a loooong drive, but was freezing her ass off, not expecting temps in the 40’s. She’ll be staying with relatives, of course, but I’m certainly following her on Twitter and checking her Flickr page for new photos.

Still, when the going gets tough, the tough get laughing. I thought I’d scour the web and find lots of tornado jokes. Here’s just a sampling. I have to laugh at this shit or else I’d bawl my eyes out.

Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister!

Everybody knows about the Fujita Scale which measures the power of tornadoes. But nobody really knows what all those types of twisters do to COWS. So here is the MOOJITA Scale…

M0 Tornado – Cows in an open field are spun around parallel to the wind flow and become mildly annoyed.
M1 Tornado – Cows are tipped over and can’t get up.
M2 Tornado – Cows begin rolling with the wind.
M3 Tornado – Cows tumble and bounce.
M4 Tornado – Cows are AIRBORN.
M5 Tornado – S T E A K ! ! !

Q: Whatever happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by the tornado?

A: Udder disaster!

Q; What did one tornado say to another?

A: “Let’s blow this town!”

A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field. A huge gust of wind comes along and all the cows fall over, but the bulls just stand there, bracing themselves against the gale. So all the cows stand up and brush themselves off and go back to their business.

Pretty soon, a tornado blows through and all of the cows are knocked to the ground, but the bulls just munch on the grass. Next, a hurricane comes through and all the cows are knocked into the next pasture. The bulls just say “moo.”

Finally, one of the cows walks up to one of the bulls and says, “Moo? What’s the mooing deal? How come the wind always knocks us for a loop and you just stand there unharmed ?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” the bull replies. “We bulls wobble, but we don’t fall down.”