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Big love going out to Miss Britt, who is now in Iowa visiting with friends and family after the devastating tornado hit her hometown the other day. If you want to help out, you can donate to the Red Cross in her area…here’s the link. They also show other ways you can help.
I just can’t imagine having everything I own disappear into the ether. I talked to Britt on the phone early yesterday morning. She was doing okay after a loooong drive, but was freezing her ass off, not expecting temps in the 40’s. She’ll be staying with relatives, of course, but I’m certainly following her on Twitter and checking her Flickr page for new photos.
Still, when the going gets tough, the tough get laughing. I thought I’d scour the web and find lots of tornado jokes. Here’s just a sampling. I have to laugh at this shit or else I’d bawl my eyes out.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister!
Everybody knows about the Fujita Scale which measures the power of tornadoes. But nobody really knows what all those types of twisters do to COWS. So here is the MOOJITA Scale…
M0 Tornado - Cows in an open field are spun around parallel to the wind flow and become mildly annoyed.
M1 Tornado - Cows are tipped over and can’t get up.
M2 Tornado - Cows begin rolling with the wind.
M3 Tornado - Cows tumble and bounce.
M4 Tornado - Cows are AIRBORN.
M5 Tornado - S T E A K ! ! !
Q: Whatever happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by the tornado?
A: Udder disaster!
Q; What did one tornado say to another?
A: “Let’s blow this town!”
Q: How are women and tornadoes alike?
A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.
A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field. A huge gust of wind comes along and all the cows fall over, but the bulls just stand there, bracing themselves against the gale. So all the cows stand up and brush themselves off and go back to their business.Pretty soon, a tornado blows through and all of the cows are knocked to the ground, but the bulls just munch on the grass. Next, a hurricane comes through and all the cows are knocked into the next pasture. The bulls just say “moo.”Finally, one of the cows walks up to one of the bulls and says, “Moo? What’s the mooing deal? How come the wind always knocks us for a loop and you just stand there unharmed ?”“Isn’t it obvious?” the bull replies. “We bulls wobble, but we don’t fall down.”
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
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Filed under Humor |18 Responses to “Let’s Twist Again…”
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I had to read this based on the title… simply because I went to a concert last night that was a beatles cover band but their opening band did Chubby’s Let’s Twist Again…
and it really has no relevance to your post, but it made me hum… and the jokes made me laugh… and i’m sorry to hear about Miss britt’s family…
clearly this comment means I need to get more sleep….
Twister. Niiiice.
Unfortunately, I know all too well what it’s like to lose everything. I don’t even have a pic of my parents anymore. I know heart wrenching this has to be for Britt and Jared. It’s nice to see everyone doing what they can to help.
Amen to the comic relief. You gotta laugh or you’ll cry. Laughing is better for you, I think.
oh man, I hate twister, I always end up with my face in some random ass
Laughing or humor, rather, is totally necessary. Miss Britt’s family and all the other familes in Iowa… man… I can’t even imagine. It’s heartbreaking!
Wee bulls wobble but we don’t feel down! Amazing….
“A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.”
Hilarious!! This made me snort!
I found those when I was looking for jokes for my post but decided not to post them because they were so groaningly bad. Good to see that someone stepped up.
The MOOJITA Scale - ha! I like it.
nutbag!
“Udder disaster” totally made me snort. Thank you!
Heather - ooh, a Beatles cover band!
Winter - Yeah, it’s times like this that you see people band together.
Shelli - agreed.
Bluepaintred - So what you’re saying is you’d much prefer MY ass in your face, right?
Sybil Law - Yeah, I just can’t imagine what it’s like to see such destruction in person.
Freelance Guru - Really bad, right? Totally groaner material.
Penelope - That one made me snort, too, actually.
Avitable - Yeah, you definitely posted the best one. There needs to be more tornado jokes, seriously.
John - Moo!
Hello - Guilty as charged.
Lady Jaye - you’re welcome.
Wow, here Twitter pics are heartwrenching. Thanks for sharing her story and her links. Yikes!
Ha! I really liked the moojita scale.
~ZZ
You seem to be a cool cat and a great friend!
Miss Brit and her family are in my thoughts and prayers!
Laughing is always good medicine. I can’t imagine losing everything in an instant, well…I sort of can and yah, it sucks.
“Q: How are women and tornadoes alike?
A: They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.”
That’s my favorite!
Jeff - Yeah, the pics are hard to look at.
Greeneyezz - Glad you liked it. I thought it was funny, too.
Catscratch Diva - Thanks.
Foo - agreed.
Finn - Yeah, I like that one, too.