Dear Panera Bread Bastards
Dear Panera Bread Bastards:
Allow me to introduce myself. I’m the guy who left your bakery/cafe (1760 US 27 N, Sebring, Florida) yesterday afternoon around 12:45pm. I’m the guy who will NOT be back to your eatery. I’m the guy who’s posting this shit all over the Internet. Well, all over my blog, anyway.
You screwed up and you screwed up royally. Was my food bad? Absolutely not, it was delicious, thanks for asking. I had the Mozarella and Portabella panini and it totally rocked. I also got a soft drink and a large coffee, since I planned on being there for a while.
Instead, I left roughly 30 minutes after I got there, without even filling my coffee cup. Want to know why?
Because YOU MADE ME LEAVE. That’s right. No one forcefully grabbed me by the arm and shoved me out the door, but they might as well have. You cut off my fucking wifi Internet connection after 30 minutes! What the bloody monkey’s uncle is THAT shit about?!
30 minutes? I was in the middle of doing important things, I’ll have you know. Suddenly, my email dies in the middle of Internet limbo, a slow and painful death, because Panera Bread is rationing the fucking wifi! How is that FREE wifi? Seriously, I want to know.
And don’t try to feed me the crap line that it’s “prime time” during lunch time, or that it’s for the good of all the other customers. There were THREE other people using computers while I was there. Yes, I checked. And yes, I can just about guarantee you that three other people left angry, just like I did.
There is no excuse for cutting off my Internet connection after such a measly amount of time. None. Even if I’d been there for two hours, there’s no excuse. You want to be like Starbucks and charge people $10/day to use the Net? Fine, be like Starbucks. I don’t go there any more, either. But don’t go advertising “free wifi hot spot” when there’s no such thing anywhere in Panera Bread Co. Free is FREE, unlimited use, idiots. Not rationed, not limited…that’s UNfree.
You fucked up. I’m a great customer. But I don’t care that your bagels are yummy and your sandwiches are divine. I refuse to eat anywhere that treats me so shabbily and callously.
Guess where I’m at right now? That’s right, I’m at Brewster’s Coffeehouse right across the street from your precious new Panera location here in Sebring. They don’t have sandwiches, but they have great coffee. AND they don’t limit use of their wifi. And they’re a locally owned coffeehouse. They were here long before you were, and long before the new Starbucks that’s right next door to you.
And I’ll be here most days from here on out. Good luck getting a clue.
Kiss my ass goodbye,
Karl Erikson
Filed under Rants, Tech | Comments (60)60 Responses to “Dear Panera Bread Bastards”
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Wow. that’s fucked up right there. The Panera that I go to here in Orange County has never ever ONCE done something like that. If they did though, I’d be through with them too.
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Hilly – weird thing is, I was just there Tuesday NIGHT and they didn’t pull this crap. It’s during “prime” hours they do this bullshit.
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Like the web cam! ha. What am I doing? Trying to finish my paper for school/speech that is due on Friday….
sorry to hear about your panera experience.
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cc: Pannera, Brewster’s
Hardcopy it.
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I DID NOT TYPE PANNERA
sigh
Panera, Brewster’s, and STARBUCKS.
I’ve stopped going to Starbucks quite so much. $4 gas is more required than my $4 coffee.
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I’m with you on the free wifi. If they are going to limit it, they need to post something on the door before you walk in that says “During prime lunch time hours, internet usage is limited to 30 mins per session”
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I’d boycott them with you, but I have never used the free WiFi and and I loves the food so much!
Still, you’re right – that is bullshit.
It is so bizarre hearing and seeing you on the webcam right now!
But nice. I will have sweet, sweet dreams, since I am going to bed now.
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That’s fucking raw. The Starbucks I go to sometimes in Orange doesn’t charge for wifi. I’ve sat there for hours working with Motley’s dad on his laptop, no charge.
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Ohhh but Wi-fi is expensive. Each of the deamons that carry the messages cost $5 an hour and you need 3 for every customer. Why can’t you understand these things…
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That’s why I like the comfort of my own home with my own food that I didn’t just pay an arm and a leg for. I understand where you are coming from though. If you advertise free there is no other way around that. Prime time or not.
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That’s really weird. I commondeared (spelling??) my local Panera for HOURS when I was finishing my Masters as it was the only quiet place I could get work done….no kick outs there. Should we organize a boycott?
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I used to love Panera. The Turkey Artichoke Panini was one of my favorite sandwiches. I loved their green iced tea and chai tea lattes. Ah, the broccoli cheddar soup with some french sourdough bread.
But the WiFi? I could never, ever connect to it at my Panera. That sucked.
I had no idea that Starbucks was charging $10 a day for WiFi. Just another reason to boycott them. Yes, I’m boycotting Starbucks.
I don’t have Brewster’s here
I do have my bedroom, with a door and a very nice cherry wood desk and a WiFi connection. We brew Kona and sometimes a Jamaican blend. Sometimes Dude brings me snacks. That will have to do.
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Oh now that aint cool.
I bet you could sue. You should totally sue.
hehehhehe
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I knew there was a reason I don’t go to Panera….and now it’s concrete…that is the lamest thing I have ever heard of.
I say you write a …less obscenity laced…..letter to the editor of the local paper AND call the closest news stations….start protesting and picketing! yeah yeah….
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Now that is just not nice. Great way to run off customers that’s for sure.
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Hah!
Reminds me of my experience: http://www.avitable.com/2008/03/06/dear-panera-bread-employees/
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I didn’t know Starbucks charged. My husband goes there all the time. Occasionally he brings me home a yummy drink too.
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I think maybe you have had ENOUGH caffeine, sweetie.
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I prefer supporting locals over the corporate mongers to begin with, but cutting off internet is a definite deal sealer for me.
Fuck them.
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Patty – glad you enjoyed the webcam, you voyeur.
Poppy – ha, I should. And yeah, $4 freaking coffee.
Martymankins – exactly.
Sybil Law – Hopefully, you didn’t have nightmares.
Winter – I think it’s because it was lunch time.
Freelance Guru – I thought the Internet Fairy just delivered the wifi to my laptop.
Mindy – Yep. I wanted to hang there for a while, eat lunch, drink coffee, and surf. No such luck.
Robin – only if you want to boycott them. I know I won’t be going back.
Lisa – Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s because it was lunch time, whichh doesn’t make any sense to me, but then they clearly don’t care what I think.
Miss Britt – You’re right! This is the sue ‘em nation.
Sandi – you can say that again.
Avitable – Wow. Just wow.
Tori – Maybe they don’t all charge, but a couple of them in Dallas did recently.
Fab – Did you just call me sweetie?
NYCWD – I agree. I like the local guys, too.
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Thirty minutes? When you’re supposed to be EATING? Do they kick you out of the chair after 30 minutes if you’re still eating? What kind of shit is that?
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aaah free wifi…..we don’t have that here at all.
sniff
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Finn – No, they don’t care how long you sit there, providing you’re not using the Internet.
DaDuck – Owch.
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I always have had a good experience there, but I never use the WiFi, so….
Did you send this or a similar letter to them? I would be curious to see if they try to correct the issue you had with them.
(Dear Mr. Erickson, Sorry for your unpleasant experience. Our WiFi went out. Have a free sandwich.)
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Oh, sorry for the typo on your name too.
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Lynda – no worries about the name. I’m used to it. No, I didn’t mail them a letter, but I did write a nasty comment in the survey I took for them.
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They probably couldn’t care less about the internet… it’s the TABLE their trying to free up. If I went to Panera for lunch and couldn’t find a place to sit because some asshole had been sitting there for five hours playing World of Warcraft and nursing a cup of coffee… I’d be pissed! Panera Bread is primarily an EATING establishment. You go there to EAT. They offer the internet as a service in case somebody needs to check their email (or Twitter or whatever) during lunch.
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Well that’s just fucking stupid then.
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Wow, remind me never to piss you off!
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Dave2 – I get that. But if they didn’t want people hanging out they shouldn’t advertise themselves as free Wifi hot spots. It’s not like I go in there and don’t buy anything. I had lunch and coffee and planned on hanging for a couple of hours at most. And I don’t take up a huge table or booth, either. Just a small table.
Finn – Agreed.
Carly – Ha, I’m pretty much over it now, but yeah…it does take a lot to tick me off most of the time.
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I wonder if you emailed this to their customer service head honcho what would happen…or you know, plastered it on fliers all over the front of their store tonight.
I won’t be going to the one here to try out anything now. Not cool. Even if I heard their food is awesome.
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There’s a little coffee shop in Mechanicsburg, Ohio (population: not much) with free WiFi.
So many of the places in Old Hilliard have free WiFi I can send e-mail from just about anywhere on Main Street.
I’ve no idea how this applies to Panera being WiFi tight asses … I just thought I’d mention it.
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yeah, now I can add Panera to the list of businesses I boycott. they won’t see my hard earned dollars.
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Mommas Tantrum – But fuck, do I love their raspberry cream cheese.
Delmer – Yeah, this isn’t a very wired city as far as Wifi goes. Only a handful of places you can go, really.
Jennifer – Wow, I think I love you.
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Good for you Karl! By the way, I wasn’t ignoring your Woopra greeting. I can’t connect, and that makes me sad.
(
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That’s totally lame. Nice job on the note.
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Fox – oops, sorry about that.
Jeff – Yep, really lame.
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go fuck all of you. you are the one that needs a fucking clue go fuck yourself
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J – Why, thanks very much. I always appreciate the thoughtful comments, particularly when I have absolutely no clue why you’re telling me I need a fucking clue.
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get a real job you fucking loser
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Hahahaha! Karl, you’ve got a troll who apparently loves Panera. What a tard.
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J – I have a real job, bitch. What, do you tend the cash register at Panera Bread or something?
Avitable – Yep, it’s about time I got a troll.
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judging from your picture…you look like a fucking retard, with absolutely no inteligence at all. Bravo. The only achievement you have in your pathetic life is this unbelievably idiotic blog.
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J – I was hoping for a real troll, not a one-hit wonder. Have a great day.
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probably somebody nearby is hogging the bandwidth from their house.. i wish they could do something about that…
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March 27th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
@defeedme, Not likely. No houses in the vicinity.
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A corporate tactic to move people through and out of their store faster, I’d guess. Just like fewer chairs, more uncomfortable chairs, etc.
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March 27th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
@Alex O, You’re probably right.
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You are an asshole. Get an office to be so self-important in.
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September 26th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
@Dick, I don’t need an office to be self-important, Dick. I can be that way anywhere I go. I expect “Free Wifi” to be free. Silly me. I also expect anyone that calls me an asshole to have enough balls to leave a link. I mean, you ARE a Dick, right? Where are the balls, Dick?
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PRETTY KITTY PRETTY!!!!
I guess that’s what free speech is all about. The dick that goes into the asshole gets a voice too.
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September 26th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
@Poppy, LOL.
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would I need some sort of a shortwave radio to listen to this wi-fi?
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October 11th, 2009 at 11:00 am
@billy, Um, no.
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Panera sucks period. Over priced, low quality fast food with glamorous marketing. If the food is so fresh, try this one. Ask for a sandwich without mustard or mayo. I guarantee you the response will be “We can’t do that, they’re all pre-made.” You mean to tell me a company that makes sandwiches a core product of their business finds hand making a sandwich such a monumental task that they must be premade? Panera isn’t trendy, their shrink wrapped food isn’t good, the value for your money sucks, their re-heated soup is bland, and the whole atmosphere makes me want to vomit on every laptop toting abercrombie and fitch douche that walks in the door. You want quality food and value? Look around your neighborhood and visit a local establishment where they have to take pride in what they do or they don’t exist. If you really think you’re eating healthy and avoiding assembly line fast food because the ad says so and they offer free wi-fi you’re an idiot.
All that said, you’re probably some worthless jackass that expects the world to cater to their every need. Try this, get your own fucking internet connection and quit expecting unlimited internet access because you paid 5 dollars to stuff your face somewhere. Lazy fuck.
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October 11th, 2009 at 11:02 am
@joe Boo, I don’t expect the world to cater to my need. I *do* expect that if an establishment advertises “free wi-fi” that it’s free fucking wifi.
I do use local establishments, all the time. You’re a prick. Though it’s true, I am a lazy fuck.
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FYI – log this.
Panera Bread in Nashua, NH on Sunday, 18th Oct 2009 between 10am – 12pm, abruptly disconnected the internet with message: “Your 30-minute session limit has been reached.” and I believe it bcoz of the table / space usage and NOT the Wifi. The smaller the Panera location and more crowd causes this to happen.
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I can see that, but on that particular day there was only me and a couple of other people using the wifi. Not many people at all in the restaurant.
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Some of us are smart enough to walk across the street or override the Panera settings. Don’t be so childish..you are getting free service and bemoaning it while people like me are perfectlly fine with it given that we know that Panera is a business not a non-profit. Hint: LIBRARY has internets.
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December 22nd, 2009 at 3:44 pm
You found my blog by searching for “override panera session limit.” Uh huh, you’re totally fine with it.
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