First of all, a big thank you to Jessica over at Black Belt Mama, who was my guest on yesterday’s SecondHand Radio. She was great. We talked about a number of things, including how when it’s our 100th Birthday party, we want booze! Plus, her near reality TV calling, HGTV addictions, blogging, TequilaCon, and more.
Jessica admitted she was pretty nervous but, like me, was completely surprised by how quickly the hour passed, even with no callers! We reminisced, too, about the good old days when we met through BlogExplosion…the faddish Rent My Blog thing a couple of years ago. And I was the very first blogger she’s “met in person.” See, Jessica? I’m a totally nice guy and want to make the show as calm and easy an experience as possible.
It’s when I see you at TequilaCon that you’ll feel awkwardly uncomfortable around my advances.
Blog Talk Radio was a fickle beast today, I admit. I wish they’d get their crap together. For the last 10 minutes of our show, my switchboard was showing that nobody was calling in to the show…not even ME.
Anyway, go here to download the show and listen to it. And go by Jessica’s blog and tell her how wonderful she is.
BTW, still looking for plenty of guests in the future. Let me know if you’re interested.
I couldn’t even listen to Hilly’s show after mine. Refreshed my browser at least 100 times and couldn’t get any audio, just the chat. Argh.
Thanks also to Matt over at Culture Kills. He awarded me my second Transmundanity Award and I cherish it like I would an icy cold glass of Guinness. If you get one of these suckers, you’re doing something really, really right. That’s why I’m baffled. Still, I’ll take it, baby.
I just received amazing news in an e-mail from someone named Sandra James. I’m going to include the text here so you can see it for yourself. I’m really stoked.
Dearest One….,I am writting this letter with due respect and heartful of tears since we have not known or met ourselves previously I am asking for your assistance after I have gone through a profile that speaks good of you. I want to find out if it’s possible for you to deal with individual as to investment. I came across your profile and I feel it’s highly reputable that is why I pick an interest getting across to you in respect of investment at my disposal. I will be so glad if you can allow me and lead me to the right channel towards your assistance to my situation now. I would like to use this opportunity to introduce myself to you.
I am Sandra James 22Years Old Lady from (cote d ivore) ,the only daughter of Late Micheal James , My father is now late he was a well known cocoa and gold merchant business man in my country( cote d ivore) ,he was poisoned by his co-business partner a year ago. The main reason why I am contacting you now is to eek your assistance in the area of my future investment and also for a help hand over some huge amount of money in my possession.
This fund ( US5.6 Million dollars) is deposited in a bank in my country in (cote d’ivoire) a years ago by my father he made me the sole beneficiary.I am now asking you to stand on my behalf,to stand as my partner and in time of the claim and investment as well. I have made up my mind to offer you 13%of the total money while the remaining will go into a productive investment. Pls attach your direct and full information as you reply to me.
Thanks and remain bless.
Best Regards
Sandra James …….
Dearest Sandra,
I am SO glad you writted me with such productive investment. I don’t know which profile speaks my goodness of me, but I am filling with tears full of joyness as I return your replyness. As to investment, individual or otherwise I am fully ready to helped you and am very sorry to hear about the Late Micheal James, especially since he is now late and your father.
I was admitting to the mark of spam at the first because of you life in cote d’ivore. That is in country of the Africa and I will happily see your email coming from the denmark. Most all suspicion as you can realiz. But I was doing the Googling and I can see maps and the picture to show your village on me.
Sandra, how happy are I with your future investment of disposal. Indeed my reputation is reputable and that says much because I too have never met yourself or mine previously. I have not lissened about cote d’ivoire before, but only say words and I will stand on your behalf both as partner and in time of the claim.
I wonder of you needs my help in the investment that is productive. Your father the Late Micheal James so calluslly poisoned by co-business partner, makes you the beneficiary of sole. Seems pretty dry and cut for you to stands on up in behalf of yourself and others (you may or not may met previously) and get your US.5.6million dollars. What must do I having the percentge 13%?
It matters not for myself. Lead you to my right channel and we can forever be in the moneys of your father Micheal James who continues being allways late. Finding attach my compleat and directly full information.
Thanks and remains blessing.
Best Regards
Karl Erikson
PS: How is your prettyness? May we might become the sexes of lovers? Are the marriages in you? Do you profile in the Myspaces like many girls of my future self friendshipps?
Filed under 2HT Mentions, 2HT Radio, Humor |39 Responses to “Dearest One…”
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Bwah ha ha ha ha!
You are truly gifted. OMG, I’m dying over here!!!
Karl, that is just classic. Just classic.
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My head hurts now.
Thanks a lot.
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So…does this mean you’re not going to help me? Hrmph.
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*snort* Oooh, Ginger ale out the nose hurts!
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You P.S. did me in and made comment.
I am still laughing.
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One of these days, I will either call into one of these BTR shows or be a guest on one. Hilly has sent me email on being a Snackie guest. I need to season myself a bit more before I’m ready to put my radio legs back on.
As for the response to your email friend, I bet they are salivating with anticipation of your willingness to help them out, in their time of need.
When you get your millions, you owe all of us several rounds of drinks.
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OMG…I literally had to keep my hand clasped over my mouth to keep from laughing out loud. The kid’s asleep, that’s why. You have to love these emails. Talk about a bunch of horse shit. I hope no one falls for these scams.
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Lisa - Thanks, though I’m not sure what is so funny. Look at that village!
Adena - Any time.
TSM - At the moment, I’m a little too tied up in this investment of Micheal James. Have you heard he is late?
Winter - Well, that’ll learn ya.
Mary - thank you. You show great taste. Appreciate you delurking.
Martymankins - You’ll be just fine with Hilly, trust me. She rocks. And I’m not just saying that because she’s my best buddy or anything. I’m saying it because she paid me.
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RxVenom - Sadly, people fall for them every day. That’s why they keep spamming.
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“are the marriages in you?”
bahahahaha
Dude, you crack my shit up.
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*giggle snort*
I really like when she says “My father is now late….”
Did he miss the bus? Forget his wallet and had to go back home? Sleep through his alarm?
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The marriage of you is in me on top of your recent correspondence above to which found me in good health, spirits and cycle of the ovulation.
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James - well, I think it’s a valid question.
DaDuck - I always just assumed that when you were poisoned you’d pretty much be late for everything after that.
Deb on the Rocks - Now you’re talking my language!
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I am dying here!! Geez that was bloody hysterical - I don’t know how you come up with that stuff but I want what you’re having, thanks ;o)
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Dude, you made me laugh so hard I think I strained something…
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Well, in the event that you dó become the sexes of lovers it’s comforting to know that you at least speak her language and can give her instructions… heh
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Penelope - Oddly enough, I wasn’t partaking in any illegal substances. You’re welcome to some of my prescribed stuff, though.
Mr. Fab - Now that’s saying something. Course, you’re already a lame duck from all that air hockey.
Dutchy - It’s important to be bilingual, at least.
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Oh. My. Gawd. I think I peed a little.
Please marry me….
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Oh man, that made my head hurt just to read that! The laughing didn’t help either.
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Miss Anne - You should always sit on towels when you’re reading my blog. Don’t you know that by now? Or maybe get some Depends.
Kyra - Believe me, it hurt my head to WRITE it. My inner editor was screaming the entire time.
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Wow. The way you captured her voice… it brings a tear to my eye. Really. You two will have so much of the happy in you.
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Miss Britt - I’m looking forward to having much happy inside of her.
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Genius!
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That was brilliant.
I had a friend who started corresponding just to fuck with them. It was pretty entertaining as well.
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LOL Karl. I have wanted to do that letter back myself many times, but now there’s just no point. That was stellar and your P.S. was just too funny.
Thanks for having me yesterday. It was a good time!
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HA HA HA! LOVE the p.s….rofl!
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I get those all the time too……why is everyone laughing? Aren’t they real??
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I got one from a widower in South Africa the other day, she wanted to share $7.5 million with me, I am glad to see others getting the same wonderful opportunity as I have gotten.
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I keep winning the Spanish Lottery. I always wonder who falls for this stuff.
Funny article. And your chat with BBM was fun to listen to, as well. Nice job.
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you rock. hard!
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But did you send it back to her? Hahaha!
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My! you are also full of the funniness… Crazy think is I get these in French.
(needed that this afternoon.)
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Avitable - thank you, sir!
Kim - Yeah, I thought about actually sending a reply, but that might open a whole other bucket of kettles. Or something.
Black Belt Mama - thank YOU. Great to finally put a voice to the blog.
Karen - Well, hey, I figure if I’m going to get a lot of money, I might as well try for the girl, too.
Metalmom - Yeah, I don’t get it, either. Clearly she’s for real.
Noodles - Wow, tragedy and big money seem to collide all over the InterTubes.
Steve - thanks very much. Appreciate you coming by my blog. Hope to see you back.
Hello - ‘Tis true. I do indeed, as you’ll see in a couple of weeks.
Hilly - I seriously thought about it. I get so much spam it’s amazing that this one crept into my Inbox without getting caught by the filters. But I’m so glad it did.
Nat - Glad I could make your Monday just a tad more bearable.
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I thought Sandra and I were BFF’s…I even shared my mother’s maiden name with her. What a two timing greedy whore. I’m so disapointed.
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LOL! Hey, I’ve gotten that letter, but could have never written such a clever response.
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Damn, Karl, you get all the good spam. No one ever offers me money. They just want me to buy Viagra.
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Foo - Listen, you could have me just as easily. Just offer me 13% of 5.6 million.
John - If only I had the balls to send it off.
Stacey - Oh, I get plenty of the Viagra offers.
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Please be asking her in the way of much friends.
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Whit - Indeed, the friends of many must go within and hope to not be late.
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