100 Things About Karl, Part Five
By Secondhand Karl on April 24th, 2008
OK, for the next 10 items on my ongoing 100 Things About Karl list, I’m going to talk about things I hate. Hate is a mighty strong word, but I don’t have the same aversion to it that a lot of people do. Unless we’re talking about people.
- I hate lima beans. I’ve eaten many of them over the years – pretty much forced to growing up. I’m convinced that succotash (a mixture of corn and lima beans) was invented by the World Lima Bean Council to trick people into eating the Devil’s Legume. I’m happy that I’m all growed up now so I can control my own lima bean destiny.
- I hate grapefruit. They taste nasty and sour and I don’t know how anyone can stand them. Oddly enough, I like Fresca, which is a grapefruit soda. I can’t explain it. Similarly, when I was little I hated onions but loved onion rings. I suppose my Italian genes finally hit puberty because I totally dig onions these days.
- I hate seafood. Yes, all of it. “But what about shrimp?” people ask me. Does shrimp come from the water? Yes, yes it does. Then I HATE it. I also hate when people hear about my disdain for seafood and say, “Well, that’s because you haven’t had it prepared the right way.” To them I say, “You’re a moron, but that’s because you haven’t used your brain the right way.”
- I hate licorice. Absolutely revolting. I was forever ditching my black jellybeans every Easter – still do, on the odd occasion I eat jellybeans. Now they have to be sugar-free. And for some reason, they actually make sugar-free black jellybeans. Gross. And yes, that means I hate Uzo, too. And anisette. Anything that tastes like licorice will make me puke. Or want to puke, which is even worse.
- I hate grits. Yes, I live in the South, but I’m not a Southerner. Grits are just blecch. I’ve tried them over and over again, thinking I’m missing something. I’m done trying them. I know that tastebuds can change over time, but my grits tastebuds just ain’t evolving. Never gonna happen.
- I hate mean people. There’s just no cause for being nasty. Sure, I can be an asshole at times…I think everyone is capable of that. But for the most part I keep my Inner Asshole at bay. When I see someone treat a waiter or waitress poorly, I just cringe. A total babe turns flat-out repulsive to me if she’s a vindictive sniping little bitch. Have some fucking courtesy, respect, and understanding. They go a long way. And if you simply cannot control your mouth, perhaps you should stay in your cave and shut the fuck up.
- I hate American Idol. It is absolutely shitty television. I don’t care if you like it, either. The only part even remotely worth watching is the audition process because those people are so bad it’s good. The rest of it? It’s like a bad karaoke competition.
- I hate spiders. I hate most all bugs, actually, if they’re in my house. Bugs belong outside, not in. And I’m not one of those people that feels like you shouldn’t kill a living creature. They’re beneficial to the environment, etc. etc. Bullshit. If I see a spider outside, fine. But if there’s one in my house, that mutherfucker is going to die, probably ending up a stain on the wall.
- I hate needles. I could never be a heroin addict because there’s no way I’d be injecting myself all the time. This is ironic since I’m a diabetic and just had to start taking insulin in September of 2007. Yes, I have to give myself shots every night before bed. Yes, I hate it and have to psych myself up before sticking myself in the gut, even though it doesn’t hurt.
- I hate Dave Matthews. Not the person, I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice fellow. But I cannot STAND his singing voice. Irritates me more than nails dragging along a chalkboard. To me, he sounds like a cat whose tail is being intermittently pinched by a rocking chair rolling on top of it. I would sooner listen to Tiny Tim or even Britney Spears. I know, that’s saying a lot.
49 Responses to “100 Things About Karl, Part Five”
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You had me at “I hate lima beans” Then there was #2 through #5.
But then you listed # 6 through #10 and you had me again.
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Clearly, we can never be an item. Alas.
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I’ve been getting shit about #5 all my life. I AM a Southern (born and raised) and I hate grits. They’re disgusting. I also hate collard greens, okra, fish, and cold fried chicken. Just so you know you’re not alone.
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My favorite one is when you were visiting and people were like, “but it’s FRESH seafood, caught right here!”. Cause that makes a difference…
I’m with you on totally disliking AI and not caring who gets mad at me for it. Hell, people make fun of me for liking Survivor.
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Martymankins – At least I got you back again.
Adena – that really saddens me. I thought we’d be great together!
Barnmouse – hey there! Yeah, grits. I don’t get it.
Hilly – I know! Fresh seafood, rotten seafood, no difference to me.
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Except for the seafood and Dave Mathews I’m right there with you (especially hating licorice…yech, bleh, nasty stuff!)
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ooh a “I Hate” installment! I may have to do that too!!!
I hate black licorice too, buuuuut SALTY black licorice and salty spicy black licorice are great! lol
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Hmm, an “I Hate” entry… Who do I know that just did one of these…?
I hate Dave Matthews, too. I just don’t get the appeal. I’d rather punch myself in the ‘nads than listen to his music. In fact, I have.
And dude, you’re missing out bigtime on Seafood Licorice.
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I hate grapefruit as well, but strangely enough LOVE Fresca. I love licorice and discovering that I can get sugar-free black licorice jelly beans (diabetic too) has just made my freakin’ night. I’m almost ready to run to the nearest 24 hour groceria in search of them!
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Melanie – ugh, licorice. Vile stuff.
DaDuck – that makes no sense to me, but okay.
James – great minds think alike? Heh. Seafood licorice, huh? Sounds gross, but I’d try it. Once.
Chris – Jelly Belly makes sugar free jellybeans.
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I hate mean people too! I love seafood, hate grits (tried them in Fla and almost threw up!), I like licorice but hate aniseed and I have no idea what Lima beans are!
PS Jelly Belly beans are divine but cost of fortune over here *sob*
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Penelope – funny, that’s like Cadbury over here. Costs a lot. And Cadbury’s is so much better than our native Hershey’s.
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Hey, good news! You can smoke Heroin!!
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if it comes out of the water, there’s no way in hell i’m eating it. why do people not understand this? and why is their fall-back always: “not even shrimp?”
oh, shrimp? the freaking cockroach of the sea? yes, let me have a little of that drenched in butter.
how about no? i mean, i LOVE butter…but i don’t love it that much.
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I don’t hate AI. It doesn’t even get to be hated by me, it’s so inconsequential.
Re: Dave Matthews – I’m with you, there. He became popular because of the concerts he would give at my college and a few other local schools, and everybody would play his CDs constantly. I think it made my ears bleed.
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You learn something new every day. Succotash is lima beans and corn. I thought it was just something funny Bugs Bunny said.
Grits… Haven’t worked up the courage to try them when we are down south. It just looks… well.. icky.
Idol is just a silly concept, the problem with “reality tv” is that it’s mean. I think that’s why it makes me cringe to watch it.
“Crash into me….”
Sorry stuck in my head now.
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All this hate, my friend. It is going to burn you up inside. Come here, let me give you one of my special healing hugs…
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Wow Karl…we have so much in common! I’d say I agree with you on everything except the killing of bugs….I usually just let them back outside if I can…but if not, I let Misk handle killing them…
I grew up (and at the moment live) in New England. people think I am a nut case when I tell them I can’t stand seafood. I am glad to know there are others like me in the world!
Oh yeah and needles? I have 7 tattoos, yet can’t stand to get blood taken LMAO
yeah, so I wrote a book of a comment…thanks for the reason to…I like it when I have things in common with other bloggers….I’m a simple woman, I guess…
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#3, 5, 10 make me sad. I LOVE seafood and why not just combine #3 and #5 with making shrimp and grits…mmmm
and I really do love DMB. I think he’s brilliant.
But despite all of that I still love you!
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And now I’m having dirty thoughts about you.
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But what about red licorice? ‘Cause I’m with you on the black, but red is nummers.
Do grits even taste? I haven’t had them in awhile…or is it just the texture?
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I think you already know that I completely agree with you about the seafood thing. Yuck!
I don’t like Dave Matthews voice, but I can’t say I am at a level of hate yet. Maybe because I hardly ever have to listen to him? Perhaps if my kids started listening to him I would move up to hate, but for now I’ll stick with intense dislike for his voice.
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Dan – that IS good news!
Supertiff – Shrimp ARE the cockroaches of the sea! And the ocean is one big toilet, anyway. Where do you think fish go to the bathroom?
Avitable – Dave Matthews is very popular. Like you, I have trouble understanding why.
Nat – ha, I always think of Warner Bros cartoons when I hear the word “succotash.”
Fab – I’ve been waiting for one of your hugs.
Cissa – I think it’s always thrilling for people to have things in common with me.
Lady Jaye – that’s okay, I won’t hold those things against you.
Bec – aren’t you always having dirty thoughts about me?
Tug – the red stuff isn’t licorice. And yeah, I like it. Grits are just blecch, the texture doesn’t help.
Tori – I don’t listen to DMB, either, but for a while there he seemed unavoidable on radio.
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I agree with most everything here except for Lima Beans and Dave Matthews. Love those legumes, and I like Dave Matthews music but don’t much care for him as a person (his politics anyway).
Although I do watch AI. There’s only so much HGTV a girl can handle before needing something else.
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Oh okay… I’ll go back to my cave… but I will gladly take any grits you may have.
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two questions: do tattoo needles count? and is a dominatrix considered ‘mean’? because i might be your evil opposite twin. mwa-ha-ha!
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2 and 4 and 7 are scarily the way that I feel. I love seafood and I have a question: Do you hate anything that swims in water or anything that swims in ocean water? Like, for instance, do you think that you might like Walleye, which swims in lake water? Cuz it’s really yummy.
The AI thing? It is really annoying and I am so tired of people talking about it. It’s way overrated and over stayed it’s welcome.
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i will not eat anything that comes from the sea. nothing. ew. or black licorice. or lima beans. or grapefruit.
i do, however, watch American Idol. can we still be friends?
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Trade peas for lima beans, Seafood for Thai, Vietnamese and Indian, any flying bug for spiders, and John Mayer for Dave Matthews and we’re a perfect fit! I seriously hate mean people. Prolly because they always like to fuck with me. And AI, I pretend it does not exist because it’s so freaking worthless.
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Oh, BTW, thanks for mentioning Half Nekkid Thursday to my kid. Her ASS is on her blog today. *sigh*
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…We seem to hate a lot of the same things.
Except, I love seafood. <3
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YES!! I too hate when people try to convince you that your hate for something isn’t real. Right there with you on spiders…there will be no capturing and placing back into their intended environment..fuck that.
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BBM – I don’t hate all legumes, just lima beans.
NYCWD – You can have the grits, bud. Don’t even have to ask.
Brandon – hey there! I don’t have any tattoos, so yeah, I suppose those needles count. And you’re a dominatrix? There’s an outfit I’d like to see.
Shelli – Nope, fish is fish. Water is water.
Ali – Absolutely, we can still be friends. As long as you don’t expect me to watch AI with you.
Winter – I love Thai food. And you’re welcome for the HNT thing. Thanks for creating such a beautiful ass.
Motley – well, nobody’s perfect.
Foo – Really! It’s not as if I just arbitrarily decided to hate things. I’ve tried them, I’ve thought about it, and I hate them. Spiders…*shiver*
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I hate that I just realised I left comments on one of your old posts … you can blame Midnight Cliff for that since I linked to you from her!
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DanjerusKurves – No worries. Comment as you wish. I’ll blame it all on her.
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I like seafood and grapefruit.But I promise not to eat them in front of you….or behind you….or in your general vicinity.
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Since you hate black jelly beans so much, can I have them?
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I’m totally with you on 5 to 10, but I love, love, love licorice and seafood! The funny thing is I love polenta but hate grits, they seem so similar but no. One is yum and one totally gross.
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Metalmom – much appreciated.
Stacey – Sure, you can have them. Might as well, they all go in the trash otherwise.
Floatingprincess – Different strokes for different folks, right?
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Well that just leaves more seafood, lima beans, grits and licorice/anise/fennel for me mmmmmm
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Turnbaby – have at it!
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I’m down with you on 2,4,5,6, leaning toward 7, and don’t tell anyone since he’s from my hometown else I’ll be burned at the stake, 10.
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John – your secret is safe with me.
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Wow, we differ a lot on our food choices. I do hate lima beans but I really like seafood most times…maybe has to do with my father being a salmon fisherman as a 2nd job so always had lots of seafood around. I do like the red licorice but not the black as much.
I don’t really like AI much either. Hate the way they make people mad, sad and Simon. Like he’s the kind of the universe or something. sad.
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mean king of the universe……
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Obviously I’m up way to early this morning and can’t type worth a damn on little sleep…
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Patty – I’m up way too freaking early, too. No worries. Drink lots of coffee and walk it off. Or go back to bed.
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when we are married, i promise to never try to feed you seafood (more for me!) or lima beans or grits.
xoxo
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Hello – For you, I’d almost eat lima beans. Almost.
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