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Many thanks to all of you that donated to help get Hilly to Philly. That means a lot to me, since she’s my boo and all that, yo. You rock.

I bought my plane ticket over the weekend. Still need to get the hotel room. But hey, I got some roommates, so all is good. I’ll be bunking with Christine and her friend, whose name I’ve forgotten but will likely remember as soon as I hit "PUBLISH." I think it’s a J name. Jan or Jifferswit, maybe. So if you go to TequilaCon and don’t see me, it might be because I’m filming another low budget porn flick with Christine and Jifferswit.

I’d like to thank Average Jane for giving me the Excellent Blog Award. One thing I can say about that Jane - besides being one seriously cool lady - she has marvelous taste in blogs. In fact, when I first met Jane two years ago at BlogHer, she said, "Oh my God! Your blog is excellent!" OK, not really. She’d never heard of me before. But still, I hung out with her again at last year’s BlogHer, and less than a year after that she’s awarding me for my blog excellence. I knew I’d get to her sooner or later.

The rules of the award say I have to list the rules of the award, so:

1. Identify the originator of this award, and link so she can get her well-deserved traffic. It’s Kayla at Project Mommy.
2. Pass on at least 10 Excellent Blog Awards.

I may not have as many feeds in my reader as some people, but there are a couple hundred. If you’re in my reader, you’re already a winner in my eyes. But seriously, just because you’re not on this list, doesn’t necessarily mean you suck. It just means I’m too fucking lazy to hyperlink more than 10 blogs.

1. Snackiepoo. Seriously, can anyone be surprised by this?
2. Blogography
3. Pseudotherapy
4. Karen Sugarpants - and I’m not just saying that because she’s designing the new 2HT blog, either. I’m saying it because she’s hot.
5. Kapgar
6. Avitable
7. Black Belt Mama - the hottie who made me a love video.
8. Dutch Files
9. Ninja Poodles
10. Out of My Tree

Speaking of blogs, this Friday I’m driving up to Orlando to meet up with a group of folks (Avitable, Miss Britt, Shash, et al) for Bossy’s Excellent Road Trip. I realized that I don’t exactly know who Bossy is. I think I’ve seen her around the blogosphere in other people’s comments, but that’s about it. Apparently, she’s making a big month-long road trip and decided to include Avi for some reason. Geez, woman, didn’t you just see his toes the other day on his blog? I pray Avi doesn’t wear his Birks.

I admit, Bossy is brilliant. The road trip idea is most excellent. Meeting up with other bloggers? Smart. But her brilliance goes far beyond. She’s on the fast track to my feedreader’s "Folks I Know" folder. That’s not an easy place to get into. But Bossy? She’s actually MEETING me Friday…that’s an automatic score. I’m sure she’s not heard of me, either, and that’s okay. The blogosphere is a big place. But I guarantee once she locks lips with me, she’ll never forget me.

Bossy is hot.

Oh, and Britt gets into my pants "Folks I Know" folder, too.

I may have to stop meeting people.

Filed under 2HT Mentions, Local Goings On, Weblogs | Comments (21)

My thanks to everyone who tuned in to SecondHand Radio on Easter. I had a great time talking to Whit and the hour went by rather quickly. And for listening to Mr. Fab’s show, where I was gang-raped for an hour. Seriously, needed a sponge bath after that show. You’ve got to hose those people down once in a while, Fab, come on. It was like Watts all over again.

Onward. I’ll recover soon enough. With (more) therapy.

Everybody and their brother seems to be doing this "100 Things" thing. I’ve been mulling it over for a while, thinking that’s a monumental task, coming up with a list of 100 things. So I’m taking the lead of Hilly and Britt and several others amongst you…chopping this baby down to 10-thing chunkettes.

And when the new 2HT digs are up and running - soon - I’ll have me one of them thar "100 Things" tabs to click on. Or something. Whatever Wordpress has, that’s what I’ll have.

Right. So, 10 things. About me.

1. I was born on September 18, 1966. In the Hamptons on Long Island.
2. I lived in Cocoa Beach, Florida for my first four years. My dad worked on the Apollo missions at Cape Kennedy.
3. I was reading and writing at three years of age. That’s right, I was a hot geek even then. By the time kindergarten rolled around they were reading Dr. Seuss’ ABC Book and I’m all, "Please, Dr. Seuss is so pedantic. He peaked at ‘Green Eggs & Ham.’"
4. I wore glasses from 18 months of age on. No shit. I have no idea how they measured a 1-1/2 year old’s eyesight, but so be it.
5. Speaking of eyes, I have a lazy eye. It moves on its own, especially when I’m not wearing my glasses. I hate it. It bothers me a bit looking at someone with a lazy eye…I mean, where the fuck am I supposed to look? Ridiculous, yes…I mean, I HAVE a lazy eye, hello? Anyway, that’s the long way of saying I always think people hate looking at my eyes. Because that lazy fucker will bug them.
6. In the Bizarre But Related category, because of #5 I can move either eye independently of the other. I can cross either eye while the other remains straight ahead. On purpose. What? That’s a useful skill! Totally freaked out the girls on the playground. Hell, it STILL freaks out the girls on the playground.
7. When I was 1-1/2, I used to dance in my diaper on the coffee table in my living room. My favorite song was "Sugar, Sugar" by The Archies. Cut the record off the back of a box of Alpha Bits cereal. Even then I was dancing in my underwear. God, I was ahead of my time.
8. I had five long years of orthodontic work. Braces. Retainers (lost 7 of them). Elastic bands. The fucking headgear. Which I had to wear in school. Yes, I was that kid. Poor little shit, I never had a chance.
9. I’m 5′7" or 5′8" depending on who measures me. Not tall, that’s the point.
10. I ate nothing but peanut butter and jelly (jam) sandwiches for lunch for years. YEARS. One time a babysitter tried to make me eat vegetable soup (blecch!) and I held out for hours. Give. Me. The. P. B. J. Bitch.

Filed under Memes | Comments (25)

I hope everyone had a great Easter yesterday. I particularly hope that you found every one of your Easter eggs. I happen to know from experience that you don’t want to lose one of those suckers and find it again six months later…behind the middle leg of the sofa. Not a pleasant smell if you break those eggs that far down the road.

Also, a big Happy Birthday to Dave2, my proud blogging buddy of almost many couple of years now. Hope it’s a fantastic day, dude. Looking forward to partying with you at TequilaCon.

Also also, click the Send Hilly to Philly button in my sidebar. Gots to get Hilly to TequilaCon, so go give a buck or ten.

This is my column from the local newspaper.

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of all the presidential campaign politics. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are at each other’s throats now, doing exactly what I knew they’d wind up doing, despite their constant cries months ago that there’d be nothing but unity in the Democratic party. Yeah, right. Unity.

Even though I’d put my money on Obama to be the Democratic nominee, we’re not going to see a definitive nominee for months and months. Hillary just won’t have it. I’ve never been a fan of Hillary, ever since it cost the American taxpayers $49 million to find out her husband is a liar. Sure, maybe it’s wrong to condemn someone just because their spouse made a mockery of the White House. But hey, she’s the one that decided to stay married to the guy. Am I not supposed to question her judgment? Plus, her outfits are just hideous. Did you see Hillary’s St. Patty’s Day getup? Ugh.

And I’m tired of the brouhaha surrounding the Michigan and Florida delegates not being seated. Florida is whining because they decided to break the rules of the Democratic national party by holding the primary a few weeks early. Granted, I don’t see why it was such a big deal to reschedule the primary, but what do I know? The point is that the Democratic party TOLD Florida what would happen if they moved the primary up. The Democratic party TOLD everyone that the Florida delegates wouldn’t be seated at the convention. But Florida officials still went forward with the cruddy plan, anyway.

I’m all for voting, and yes, I believe every vote should count. But I also think that if you can’t follow the rules, and you ignore clear warnings, then you should just lie in the bed you made and shut up. You’d think, after the 2000 election (when I wasn’t yet living in Florida), we’d have learned a lesson in the Sunshine State. Wasn’t one botched election bad enough?

Now the voters are left in a lurch, even though they voted in the primary just like they were supposed to. And even though Hillary won Florida and Michigan (who, by the way, is looking at a primary do-over in the coming months), it really doesn’t count because those delegates she won aren’t getting seated at the convention this summer. Naturally, she wants to seat those delegates. I mean, she didn’t gripe about the rules before the Florida primary, but now that she’s won it, she needs those delegates.

Florida has recently said to the Democratic national party, “Forget you. We voted. We’re not spending money to do ANOTHER primary when the voters have already spoken. YOU figure it out.” And the Democratic party has a problem on their hands. The race is so close that they NEED to seat Florida and Michigan. In the end, the Democrats will likely pay for a solution (translation: taxpayers will get screwed again) because Florida couldn’t follow the rules. And that really means the rules don’t apply to everyone, doesn’t it?

Filed under Column, Politics | Comments (11)