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It’s been a while since we’ve looked over at some of the terms people search for when they result in a land on my blog. 2HT search terms are always weird and wacky. As you can see, Jaime Murray is still by far the #1 search term for people when they inadvertently come across SecondHand Tryptophan.
Here’s a random sampling of some search terms.
The Vapors wikipedia
Rachel Ray anal
Sister’s boobs
suck my crotch
unexplained resting boulders
nipple squirts
"chronic masturbator" husband
"dating my therapist" (How did Neil wind up here?)
dildo Karim Rashid
cartoon man airplane holding nose and blowing images
going clubbing in Japan
screaming clown bears
quizzes am i a slut
amy sedaris nude
diabetic lick envelope
tryptophan dogs
w00t stuff (ugh)
jaime murray pole dancing
whack people put a tampon in
Yeah, that’s just for starters, really. I should put a book together full of the weird search terms.
In the meantime, Jaime honey…call me, sweets. I love you and would do just about anything to hang out with you. Inside your apartment, instead of just hanging around outside, I mean.
Filed under 2HT Search Terms | Comments (10)
WARNING: This post is NSFM, Not Safe For Mom.
I started using Last.fm back in 2006. It was a cool way to share music with friends and other people. The concept is very simple: the software keeps track of all the songs you play on iTunes or another music player and then compiles lists of the artists, makes new recommendations based on your likes/dislikes, etc.
I used it for a while, even kept a widget on the blog so YOU could see what I’m listening to. It seemed everyone was using Last.fm and putting widgets on their blogs. Well, I quickly got tired of it, even felt a little violated that something was keeping track of everything I listened to.
So a couple of weeks ago I receive a "friend add" from Last.fm and my first thought was, "Oh yeah, didn’t I have an account with them once?" Well, not wanting to be antisocial, I added the friend (might have been Monty, now that I think about it) and didn’t think twice about it. Yeah, I had to log in to a page I hadn’t logged into in years, but no big deal.
Then someone else added me. What the fuck? Is Last.fm suddenly making a comeback? Hell, I still have a Friendster account, too, not that I ever use that one, either. So I went and downloaded the Last.fm software again, for the first time in a couple of years. What the hell, it might be fun.
But then I remembered WHY I stopped using Last.fm. What if, while varying playlists on iTunes and Windows Media Player…what if Last.fm keeps track of my porn collection, too? I know I forgot to turn Last.fm off the other day and I’m pretty positive it caught me watching porn on my laptop. What if everyone and their brother can now see how much porn I watch simply by looking at my Last.fm page?
Listen, I may be 41 now, but my sex drive is still pretty active. Granted, I don’t have anyone to be active WITH, but still…there’s that self love that Hilly was talking about just last week. At least I THINK that’s what she was talking about. Hmm.
It’s been a long time since I got laid, believe me. It certainly hasn’t happened this year (yet, applications are welcome). But if I don’t squeeze one off at least once every other day, my head will explode. Maybe both of them. I lose I.Q. points if I don’t have an orgasm every so often, and I don’t have that many points to spare.
Still, if you’re wanting to see what sort of music I’m listening to, you probably should steer clear of my Last.fm page. It’s probably chock full of videos like amateur pirate hooker wives and shaved giraffes covered with whipped cream. Hey, I’m only human.
In the meantime, I just realized that we’re nearly through February and TequilaCon starts in a mere three months. I was chatting (on email) with the unbelievably talented and gorgeous Kyra yesterday and it looks like she’s going to TequilaCon. Thanks to her, I figured out that I should probably start pricing things like plane tickets. Dave assures me that they should have an official venue in a matter of weeks. Check with the bunny-loving Jenny for further information and to get on the mailing list.
If you’re thinking of going, TequilaCon is in Philadelphia this year, the city of brotherly love. I’m hoping there’s a lot of sisterly love, too. I’m totally bringing my porn collection.
Filed under Music, Web/Tech, Weblogs | Comments (14)
Argh, I’m miffed because I totally forgot about the new Knight Rider coming on last night. Totally slipped my mind until there were only 10 minutes left. Yeah, I got to see the Hoff playing Michael Knight again, but it was a brief enigmatic graveside visit and there wasn’t any kick-ass KITT action.
When I was growing up, Knight Rider was one of my favorite shows. It was all about the cool car with the Cylon light up front. Thing is, K.I.T.T. didn’t really have any offensive weapons. It was all defense. No machine guns, no hood-mounted laser cannons, no giant TASERS. Yes, KITT had some cool buttons (like "Oil Slick"), but basically if Michael got out of the car, he was toastable.
In this new age - the Internet age - I wonder just how new and improved KITT is? He’s no longer a Trans Am, he’s a Ford Mustang. OK, I can deal with that. But can he sent Twitters on the fly? Can he voice dial Papa Johns and get me a pizza?
I’ve heard that KITT 3000 can change colors, morph shape, and has the offensive capabilities I fantasized about 25 years ago. I’m not sure if he carries missiles or what, but anything would be better than the old KITT. Except for William Daniels’ voice, of course. I think they should have kept the same voice. Daniels MADE KITT.
I’m sure Knight Rider wasn’t that fantastic a movie (and pending series), but I would have enjoyed it just the same. When you’re watching childhood schlock, you really need to put on your "teenage hat." You know, watch it as if you were still lacking enough intelligence and worldliness to know that it sucks.
That means that I still squee like a little girl at the notion of having my own ejection seat.
Filed under Television | Comments (14)
